Joanne

I have been reading the various posts and I would, if I may, like to
say two things. Most importantly, it is very hard to be a leader.
There are always some people who like what is being done, while
others who do not. Yet in general the leaders (or in this case our
list moderators) put in the most time and work. I would like to
express great appreciation for their commitment to this particular
list and also the service they are providing to those in need of
support, information and/or community.

Secondly, asking questions and responding with further questions is
very different then presenting questions and then responding with an
ongoing argumentative tone. Negativity without giving any of the
suggestions a real chance is not about struggling to grow out of
one's comfort zone. I believe it is driven by an unconscious desire
to justify why one "can't" change. It allows us to feel we can make
a case for why things won't work without really bearing the
uncomfortability of trying. We have all been there before.
Sometimes as the one not ready and sometimes as the one listening to
someone who is so painfully stuck. As we can all well remember,
when this persists it can be incredibly draining for the person the
arguer is either trying to engage or convince.

Of course, we all have feeling when we consider change. We are
leaving that which is familiar to that which is unknown. It can be
exciting but it can also be frightening. The intensity of our
reaction will be colored by many factors including current life
circumstances and/or stressors not to mention those unresolved
hurts, fears and unchallenged messages from our own pasts. Support
and information can be given to a seeker but not one who is still
fighting within oneself.

When invited into that kind of circular "debate", the case of any
energy or paradigm shift is greatly diminished. Even if the arguer
feels the desire, it will do neither them nor us any good to fight
with someone who is struggling that intensely. Perhaps their
answers will emerge when they are given the space to fight it out
with themselves. The fight will end when the person battling is
ready to let go of the fear. No one can bring them to that place.

We each ultimately must decide alone when and if we are willing. It
requires different impetus for different people. For some it takes
the willingness to take the risk and just dive in. Others need to
find the courage to proceed even when uncertain. Some may use the
conviction of blind faith. The assurance of it has worked for
others before me. Others may need to be still so that they may
find that centered quiet space of peace or knowing or trust.

In closing, I would like to encourage us all to remember not judge
our moderators harshly. When anything is done well, it appears
easy. Such is the case of moderating a list like this. Even though
further along the journey then many of us, they are still life
learners who also need support and community and like all of us are
still learning as they live.

There are many lists. Those who do not get what they need here have
many other options of places to explore. Some may even come back at
a later date. After all, we all grow and learn in different ways,
at different times. :)


Respectfully,
Joanne, Charlie (dh) and Kevin (ds/age; 5)
Lake Carmel, NY