myths was Re: food thread
[email protected]
>>I totally agree that this is a myth, but sometimes I choose for my(almost 7yr old) boy because *I* don't want to deal with a sugar-
bombed kid or a frenetic-from-video-games kid.>>
I personally think this is a myth also. From my experience (and I realize I have not experienced every child in the whole wide world) kids will act out for a variety of reasons. In all cases they're trying to tell us something-I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm frustrated, I'm bored, I'm restless, etc. Lots of times they give us cues way before the meltdown stage and we can be proactive. We can bring them food, suggest a temporary change in activity, rub their shoulders or whatever it is they need.
Sometimes the meltdown will still happen, but many times the trouble can be averted. Helping a child learn that they feel better after video game breaks (or reading breaks or swimming breaks) is part of our job. Blaming the video game for a tired or frenetic kid does nothing to help you learn what's really triggering particular reactions.
I'm not exactly sure what a sugar-bombed kid is exactly. Usually the times that kids get lots of sugar are times when there's lots of activity and excitement going along with it. Birthday parties, carnivals, trick or treating, Easter baskets all have a lot of fanfare associated with them. I think it's the build up, activity and fanfare that leads to overstimulation and breakdowns. But the sugar gets blamed as if it was the only thing to touch the child that day.
I realize there are reactions to sugar. I know that I'm hypoglycemic, so I need some protein when I have something very sugary or I'll feel awful when my blood sugar level crashes. (Would that make be sugar-bombed? <g>.) I've made my kids aware of this connection and so they are good at listening to their own bodies' cues and reactions. If they do end up being hypoglycemic like me, I'll have done them no favors if I simply forbid candy to avoid the meltdown. How much better to help them understand their bodies and learn what a healthy balance of foods feels like.
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "julie" <juillet727@...>
julie
*this ended up being kind of long and blathery* just sharing my
process with all this new info I get from this list...
Hi Mary--
Gosh, I thought about this for a long time. I mean, I do think that
anything we put into our bodies affects us to any degree. And what we
do also affects us. But, it's been interesting to look at my
attachments to my ideas.
I realize that when my boy is IN a melt down or very close to it
that I say no to sugary food or video games. The un-met needs are
already speaking in the grumpy behavior. I was thinking the vidoes or
sugar made the grumpy acting out behavior. But..(thinking out loud
here)..maybe the need IS to play video games? I'm thinking of Pam's
post of her daughter playing SIMS for days. I understand this in my
own behavior. I often will listen to the same album or even song for
a month easily. Or I'll watch the same movie for a month straight. I
just watched Chocolat (with Juliette Binoche) at least once or twice
a day for the last 2 or 3 weeks, actually. I would think it was
preposterous for someone to chastise me for it or try to change what
I do. For me to assume what my boy should be into at any given time
is equally ridiculous.
Here's a little story: my boy got home from school the other day---
yeah that's right, I'm WAY the newbie here. My boy won't be going
back to school next year. Blech. Anyway, he says to me that he wants
to play video games. I say, well, gosh sweetie, I have to go to work
in an hour (I work P/T) and I want to visit with you. He REALLY wants
to play, so he plays the video games. I'm sitting right there,
actually laying down on the couch because I have cramps and we're
talking about the game and whatnot and the time comes for me to get
ready and go to work and we have to go drop him off with my
partner/his dad who is working. My boy was so sad that we didn't get
to visit before I had to go to work, but he did get to play videos. I
hugged him and loved him thru the sad feelings of not getting to
visit, but it was what he wanted at the time. I checked in throughout
his playing time to see if he wanted to turn it off and visit and he
said no and that was really ok with me. We were still together,
talking.
Another anecdote: the other day my son said, "mom, I wish I could
get in your head and make you do what I want." "And what would that
be?" I asked. He said he wanted to choose what to eat for dinner.
Crap! Am I really that controlling? Aargh. So, tonight he ate a cute
frosted flower shaped cookie, he wanted some gummi bears and some
some chocolate drops (natural m&m's). I put some in a bag (bought in
bulk). That was dinner. No meltdown. We had a great night. Oh, and
later he wanted raviolis. And a little watermelon. Now, we have had
dinners like this before, but I always fretted about it a lot. I want
to be less stressed about it.
I saw the post about the books (Let Them Eat Cake, etc) and
thought...man, I'm going to read that book!
I've had a bunch of times where my boy has played video games for
hours and hours, once for 11 hrs and he didn't flip out. He was
perfectly content. and other times where he eat a bunch of sugary
stuff and there was no meltdown. Before now, I didn't know how that
could be. I think I'm starting to understand a little bit more now.
Trying to let go of my attachments.
Anyway, thanks.
~~Julie.
-- In [email protected], zenmomma@... wrote:
kids will act out for a variety of reasons. In all cases they're
trying to tell us something-I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm frustrated,
I'm bored, I'm restless, etc. Lots of times they give us cues way
before the meltdown stage and we can be proactive. We can bring them
food, suggest a temporary change in activity, rub their shoulders or
whatever it is they need.
after video game breaks (or reading breaks or swimming breaks) is
part of our job. Blaming the video game for a tired or frenetic kid
does nothing to help you learn what's really triggering particular
reactions.
activity and excitement going along with it. Birthday parties,
carnivals, trick or treating, Easter baskets all have a lot of
fanfare associated with them. I think it's the build up, activity and
fanfare that leads to overstimulation and breakdowns. But the sugar
gets blamed as if it was the only thing to touch the child that day.
sugary or I'll feel awful when my blood sugar level crashes. (Would
that make be sugar-bombed? <g>.) I've made my kids aware of this
connection and so they are good at listening to their own bodies'
cues and reactions. If they do end up being hypoglycemic like me,
I'll have done them no favors if I simply forbid candy to avoid the
meltdown. How much better to help them understand their bodies and
learn what a healthy balance of foods feels like.
process with all this new info I get from this list...
Hi Mary--
Gosh, I thought about this for a long time. I mean, I do think that
anything we put into our bodies affects us to any degree. And what we
do also affects us. But, it's been interesting to look at my
attachments to my ideas.
I realize that when my boy is IN a melt down or very close to it
that I say no to sugary food or video games. The un-met needs are
already speaking in the grumpy behavior. I was thinking the vidoes or
sugar made the grumpy acting out behavior. But..(thinking out loud
here)..maybe the need IS to play video games? I'm thinking of Pam's
post of her daughter playing SIMS for days. I understand this in my
own behavior. I often will listen to the same album or even song for
a month easily. Or I'll watch the same movie for a month straight. I
just watched Chocolat (with Juliette Binoche) at least once or twice
a day for the last 2 or 3 weeks, actually. I would think it was
preposterous for someone to chastise me for it or try to change what
I do. For me to assume what my boy should be into at any given time
is equally ridiculous.
Here's a little story: my boy got home from school the other day---
yeah that's right, I'm WAY the newbie here. My boy won't be going
back to school next year. Blech. Anyway, he says to me that he wants
to play video games. I say, well, gosh sweetie, I have to go to work
in an hour (I work P/T) and I want to visit with you. He REALLY wants
to play, so he plays the video games. I'm sitting right there,
actually laying down on the couch because I have cramps and we're
talking about the game and whatnot and the time comes for me to get
ready and go to work and we have to go drop him off with my
partner/his dad who is working. My boy was so sad that we didn't get
to visit before I had to go to work, but he did get to play videos. I
hugged him and loved him thru the sad feelings of not getting to
visit, but it was what he wanted at the time. I checked in throughout
his playing time to see if he wanted to turn it off and visit and he
said no and that was really ok with me. We were still together,
talking.
Another anecdote: the other day my son said, "mom, I wish I could
get in your head and make you do what I want." "And what would that
be?" I asked. He said he wanted to choose what to eat for dinner.
Crap! Am I really that controlling? Aargh. So, tonight he ate a cute
frosted flower shaped cookie, he wanted some gummi bears and some
some chocolate drops (natural m&m's). I put some in a bag (bought in
bulk). That was dinner. No meltdown. We had a great night. Oh, and
later he wanted raviolis. And a little watermelon. Now, we have had
dinners like this before, but I always fretted about it a lot. I want
to be less stressed about it.
I saw the post about the books (Let Them Eat Cake, etc) and
thought...man, I'm going to read that book!
I've had a bunch of times where my boy has played video games for
hours and hours, once for 11 hrs and he didn't flip out. He was
perfectly content. and other times where he eat a bunch of sugary
stuff and there was no meltdown. Before now, I didn't know how that
could be. I think I'm starting to understand a little bit more now.
Trying to let go of my attachments.
Anyway, thanks.
~~Julie.
-- In [email protected], zenmomma@... wrote:
>realize I have not experienced every child in the whole wide world)
> >>I totally agree that this is a myth, but sometimes I choose for my
> (almost 7yr old) boy because *I* don't want to deal with a sugar-
> bombed kid or a frenetic-from-video-games kid.>>
>
> I personally think this is a myth also. From my experience (and I
kids will act out for a variety of reasons. In all cases they're
trying to tell us something-I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm frustrated,
I'm bored, I'm restless, etc. Lots of times they give us cues way
before the meltdown stage and we can be proactive. We can bring them
food, suggest a temporary change in activity, rub their shoulders or
whatever it is they need.
>trouble can be averted. Helping a child learn that they feel better
> Sometimes the meltdown will still happen, but many times the
after video game breaks (or reading breaks or swimming breaks) is
part of our job. Blaming the video game for a tired or frenetic kid
does nothing to help you learn what's really triggering particular
reactions.
>the times that kids get lots of sugar are times when there's lots of
> I'm not exactly sure what a sugar-bombed kid is exactly. Usually
activity and excitement going along with it. Birthday parties,
carnivals, trick or treating, Easter baskets all have a lot of
fanfare associated with them. I think it's the build up, activity and
fanfare that leads to overstimulation and breakdowns. But the sugar
gets blamed as if it was the only thing to touch the child that day.
>hypoglycemic, so I need some protein when I have something very
> I realize there are reactions to sugar. I know that I'm
sugary or I'll feel awful when my blood sugar level crashes. (Would
that make be sugar-bombed? <g>.) I've made my kids aware of this
connection and so they are good at listening to their own bodies'
cues and reactions. If they do end up being hypoglycemic like me,
I'll have done them no favors if I simply forbid candy to avoid the
meltdown. How much better to help them understand their bodies and
learn what a healthy balance of foods feels like.
>
>
> --
> ~Mary
> http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
>
> "The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
> green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
> alive."
> ~Thich Nhat Hanh
>
> -------------- Original message ----------------------
> From: "julie" <juillet727@...>
>