[email protected]

Two things I've actually said to a child of mine -

"Thou shalt not lick raw poultry"

"No, you can't have any more broccoli until you've eaten some more chicken"

:) Both said to the same kid, in the same year.

The first was obviously important information. More than ten years later I
still don't know why I phrased it that way instead of merely yelling "NO!" when
I spotted my then 3yo son aiming his tongue at the chicken sitting on the
counter waiting to be dressed. Fortunately it was unusual and unexpected enough to
stop him, comically, poised with his tongue perhaps a centimeter from the
bird. :)

The second was just ridiculous, which I acknowledged as soon as I said it.
"Rewind" we call it - when mom calls back the words that have just sprung
unbidden from her mouth. :)

Deborah in IL

Pampered Chef Michelle

On 4/19/06, DACunefare@... <DACunefare@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> The second was just ridiculous, which I acknowledged as soon as I
> said it.
> "Rewind" we call it - when mom calls back the words that have just sprung
> unbidden from her mouth. :)


I've caught Dan saying that exact thing (about brocolli) to one of the
kids. Our kids could eat brocolli until they turned green. I keep having
to remind Dan that brocolli is one of those nutritionally dense foods so
it's ok for the kids to eat as much as they want of it. Actually, I
secretly think that Dan is worried that HE won't get another serviing of
brocolli before the kids eat it all ;)





--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ren Allen

""Rewind" we call it - when mom calls back the words that have just
sprung unbidden from her mouth. :)"

We have a "pause" button here. When someone is talking and another
person tries to interrupt, we just say "pause" as in "hold that
thought and let me finish please.":)

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

trektheory

--- In [email protected], DACunefare@... wrote:
>
> Two things I've actually said to a child of mine -
>
> "Thou shalt not lick raw poultry"
>
> "No, you can't have any more broccoli until you've eaten some more
chicken"
>
> :) Both said to the same kid, in the same year.

My son loves some of the things I've said over the years -- or at
least, hearing about them. When he was 2ish, and in that putting
things in things stage, I said, "No, we don't put peanut butter in
the air vent." (I am sure that pennies and emory boards are still
in the duct work of that house.) He loves that.

When my son was young, and he was a real broccoli hound, I used to
give him broccoli after he had eaten some of the rest of his meal.
Then he got very ill (unrelated to broccoli, just a bug) and
wouldn't eat a veggie for months and months. And not big on
broccoli - until this last year again. This is years later. Go
figgure!

Linda

rshoulla

LOL on the first one! I'll have to remember (and borrow) the second
one.

We have a "rule" in our house ... the kids can snack anytime day or
night as much as they want, as often as they'd like... as long as it
is a fruit or a vegetable (which we always make available for
snacking). Anything else, and they need to use common sense.

They snack constantly, but I can't remember the last time I had to
say, "Don't eat that", "Wait until after dinner", or "Eat your
vegetables!" If they don't feel like eating or eating their
vegetables at dinner, who cares? Snack time is coming... :)

Robin

--- In [email protected], DACunefare@... wrote:
>
> Two things I've actually said to a child of mine -
>
> "Thou shalt not lick raw poultry"
>
> "No, you can't have any more broccoli until you've eaten some more
chicken"
>
> :) Both said to the same kid, in the same year.
>
> The first was obviously important information. More than ten years
later I
> still don't know why I phrased it that way instead of merely
yelling "NO!" when
> I spotted my then 3yo son aiming his tongue at the chicken sitting
on the
> counter waiting to be dressed. Fortunately it was unusual and
unexpected enough to
> stop him, comically, poised with his tongue perhaps a centimeter
from the
> bird. :)
>
> The second was just ridiculous, which I acknowledged as soon as I
said it.
> "Rewind" we call it - when mom calls back the words that have just
sprung
> unbidden from her mouth. :)
>
> Deborah in IL
>

Manisha Kher

--- DACunefare@... wrote:

> Two things I've actually said to a child of mine -
>
> "Thou shalt not lick raw poultry"
>
> "No, you can't have any more broccoli until you've
> eaten some more chicken"
>
I have said "No more broccoli till you eat some
cheese" to my daughter. It was because she was
consuming very few calories and no protein. When she
ate like that, she would get up hungry in the middle
of the night.

My son is like that also. He eats very little and then
gets energy lows which result in him crying or yelling
and throwing things. Not fun to watch. So he was
having another of these not eat anything days. Then we
went to eat at Panera Bread. There he picked up a
fruit cup. All very watery fruits like melons with not
very many calories. When he asked for a second fruit
cup, I said "Yes, but first you're going to eat a
cookie". Later I thought I maybe the only mom around
who makes a kid eat a cookie instead of fruits.

Manisha


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lesliel23

**Hey this is a good one, I like it! My only problem is actually
keeping groceries in the house ;-)**

Leslie (in Moody, AL)
>

We have a "rule" in our house ... the kids can snack anytime day or
> night as much as they want, as often as they'd like... as long as it
> is a fruit or a vegetable (which we always make available for
> snacking). Anything else, and they need to use common sense.
>
> They snack constantly, but I can't remember the last time I had to
> say, "Don't eat that", "Wait until after dinner", or "Eat your
> vegetables!" If they don't feel like eating or eating their
> vegetables at dinner, who cares? Snack time is coming... :)
>
> Robin
>

Ren Allen

"I have a food question: How do you let the children choose their
food, and still sit down to dinner together."

If the point is an enjoyable meal together, then forcing someone to
sit when they don't want to negates the whole purpose. It is very
common for small children to come and go from meals. Jalen still does
this...running back into a bedroom to watch a bit of tv, or play a
game and then back to the table for a few more bites. It's more
enjoyable to let everyone use the family meal as they choose.

If it bothered me, I might let them know at an older age. But Jalen
really doesn't have the processing skills to understand why it would
be a problem right now. Fortunately, it's not a problem in our family.
We enjoy having time to chat and eat together ( my kids ASK for family
meals) when we do sit down together.

I don't have some perfect version of everyone sitting happily
throughout the entire meal. I think releasing what your family
"should" look like allows more freedom for each member.

We haven't sat down to a meal together in a while. Just the nature of
flow around here.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

[email protected]

>>>Eating foods peacefully and happily is more important to me than the
>>>nutritional content of a particular food. Stressing over what you allow
>>>yourself to eat or not eat will probably kill you faster than eating less
>>>nutritional foods.

Angela

I'm listening to a book, Love and Survival by Dean Ornish, that basically says that your relationship with others is a bigger factor in how healthy you are than what you eat or how much you exercise. The love between you and the people most important to you is even more significant than smoking as an influence on overall health and longevity.

Dean Ornish wrote another book on heart disease that has helped me a lot, so I really wanted to know what he had to say on the subject of relationships. I'm only halfway through the book, but I think he would agree with Angela's statement above. Your relationship with your children is more important than the food you feed them.

Deirdre

Katharine Wise

One of the biggest areas I started "deschooling" after joining this list was food -- basically by just saying, "yes" to requests and offering lots of snacks. The snacks have worked well, and I've been okay with the way meals are going, but I am wondering if maybe there's a better solution.

A little history. Last summer he was my "best" eater. Ate everything -- including salad, hummus, and avocado which my older two won't touch:-) Then one day he announced that he only liked the foods his brothers liked. It just went downhill from there until by midwinter he was pretty much only eating apples, peanut butter sandwiches and tofu plus the occasional carrot or piece of green pepper or other fruit. Limited but actually reasonable balanced. When my boys were around 4 or 5 I would start having them take a "no thank you" bite of everything -- but my now 4yo hadn't reached that stage yet anyway -- and other than that I just served nutritious meals and if they didn't want what was offered they could always have a pb sandwich. In the past I would serve up to three snacks per day -- one in morning, one in afternoon, and one after dinner.

So, when I joined the list, I started saying yes to his requests which manifested two ways -- *lots* more snacks (although the frequency of requests has diminished there, I think) and his own personal meals. I think we've had one meal in the past maybe 2 weeks where he's had the same thing we had. Mostly he's wanted things that were simple to fix -- tofu with soy sauce or a tortilla with tofu or left-over rice with cheese so it hasn't been a big problem, but I am a little concerned over the short-order cook business. I keep thinking maybe after awhile he'll want to try what we're eating, but so far he hasn't. It's been about a month, maybe longer. Any suggestions? How long does it take to deschool food?

Thanks,
Katharine





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chandelle'

well, my son is only 2 but we have the same sort of issue, except that he's
only learning to speak so he can't tell me what he wants. we always have
lots of leftovers and precooked stuff like lentils and beans and bread so
sometimes i'll just open the fridge and let him grab what he wants...i
always try to keep the best stuff in the front. i do trust overall that he
will know what he needs and follow his instincts as far as when to eat...he
goes through periods of eating every hour and other periods of hardly eating
at all. i worry a lot, but i mainly focus on whether his development is
proceeding, what his temperament is like, how his sleep patterns are, etc.
more than his weight (although he's always been pretty "average" by the
charts), to know whether he is getting enough of the good stuff. and i have
learned very well how to get more good stuff out of foods he'll always
eat...i get really good organic jams full of antioxidants like pomegranate
and blueberry, with no sugar; whole-grain breads packed with nuts and seeds;
lots of different nut butters; i stuff vegetables into just about
everything; and his favorite snacks are luckily all kinds of healthy stuff
like frozen berries, peas and corn; rice and lentils with tofu; homemade
granola bars and crackers; fruit; beans; etc. also, i have learned that i
can put all kinds of stuff into his daily smoothie and still have it taste
good - lots of different nuts and seeds, carrot juice, kale, spiruilna, etc.

i don't know if that helps, but i'm with ya!

chandelle'

On 3/31/07, Katharine Wise <katharinewise@...> wrote:
>
> One of the biggest areas I started "deschooling" after joining this list
> was food -- basically by just saying, "yes" to requests and offering lots of
> snacks. The snacks have worked well, and I've been okay with the way meals
> are going, but I am wondering if maybe there's a better solution.
>
> A little history. Last summer he was my "best" eater. Ate everything --
> including salad, hummus, and avocado which my older two won't touch:-) Then
> one day he announced that he only liked the foods his brothers liked. It
> just went downhill from there until by midwinter he was pretty much only
> eating apples, peanut butter sandwiches and tofu plus the occasional carrot
> or piece of green pepper or other fruit. Limited but actually reasonable
> balanced. When my boys were around 4 or 5 I would start having them take a
> "no thank you" bite of everything -- but my now 4yo hadn't reached that
> stage yet anyway -- and other than that I just served nutritious meals and
> if they didn't want what was offered they could always have a pb
> sandwich. In the past I would serve up to three snacks per day -- one in
> morning, one in afternoon, and one after dinner.
>
> So, when I joined the list, I started saying yes to his requests which
> manifested two ways -- *lots* more snacks (although the frequency of
> requests has diminished there, I think) and his own personal meals. I think
> we've had one meal in the past maybe 2 weeks where he's had the same thing
> we had. Mostly he's wanted things that were simple to fix -- tofu with soy
> sauce or a tortilla with tofu or left-over rice with cheese so it hasn't
> been a big problem, but I am a little concerned over the short-order cook
> business. I keep thinking maybe after awhile he'll want to try what we're
> eating, but so far he hasn't. It's been about a month, maybe longer. Any
> suggestions? How long does it take to deschool food?
>
> Thanks,
> Katharine
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ____________________________________________________________________________________
> Be a PS3 game guru.
> Get your game face on with the latest PS3 news and previews at Yahoo!
> Games.
> http://videogames.yahoo.com/platform?platform=120121
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>


--
The deepest sin against the human mind is to believe things without
evidence. Sit down before fact as a little child, be prepared to give up
every preconceived notion, or you shall learn nothing.
-Thomas Huxley


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

plaidpanties666

--- In [email protected], Katharine Wise
<katharinewise@...> wrote:
> Mostly he's wanted things that were simple to fix -- tofu with soy
sauce or a tortilla with tofu or left-over rice with cheese so it
hasn't been a big problem, but I am a little concerned over the
short-order cook business. I keep thinking maybe after awhile he'll
want to try what we're eating, but so far he hasn't. It's been
about a month, maybe longer. Any suggestions? How long does it
take to deschool food?
*****************************

I think you have a misconception - its not a matter of waiting until
he starts eating what and how you'd prefer him to eat. He's learning
to make his own decisions about food and that means he may not want
to eat what everyone else is eating. The challenge then becomes
facilitating that in a way that isn't overwhelming for *you*.

Are there foods that can be prepared ahead of times and left in the
fridge or on a shelf for him? Is he interested in doing some of the
food prep himself? Cutting tofu into cubes is pretty managable. You
forgot to tell us which kid this is (age?) but can he use the
microwave himself? We bought a microwave last summer so that Mo
could start preparing more food for herself - she had just turned 5.

Mo still likes me to do things like get cereal for her, but she'll
do it herself if I'm busy. I'll let her know that I'm happy to get
it for her as soon as I'm done and she'll either wait or get her
own.

Something that really helped me get comfortable with unschooling
food was rethinking the whole idea of meals and *why* we eat
together. In our home, George and I like to eat together, so meals
are about connection. The kids are welcome to join us, but not
required - something Ray's still getting his head around (I can
really eat in front of the tv? Really? Wow. I don't *have* to eat
dinner? Really? Wow.). We always make enough for Ray to have some,
too, but just put it in the fridge if he's not hungry. Mo almost
never eats what we do, but sometimes she'll sit with us and have a
snack of her own while we eat. She tends to graze.

I don't remember how much your dh is home during the day - he's a
minister, right? I have no idea what that entails in terms of time
away from the house, but if *he* has a need to connect as a family,
that can be done other ways than eating together every day. I know
there's a big cultural component to the shared meal, but my
experience with Mo is that she's almost always happy to join us at
the table for special events, company, etc, so I know its possible
for kids to "get" that cultural component without meals being a
daily ritual.

If meals are largely for the convenience of the cook, its time to
look at other options. Snack trays... making big amounts of favored
foods weekly and storing portion-sized amounts... pre-chopping
veggies and fruits once a week... Maybe the kids would have other
suggestions or like to be involved.

> One of the biggest areas I started "deschooling" after joining
>this list was food

Its always important to keep in mind that *you* are going to need as
much or more deschooling as the kids. You have decades of
preconceptions about food and eating and meals, they only have
years. That's why food can be suuuuuuch a difficult issue for
parents. We have to wade through a lifetime of our *own* food
issues, many of which are tied up with issues of caretaking or
abundance/scarcity or control... plus cultural stuff. Whew.
Sometimes its amazing that anyone can unschool food at all!

---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)

Lisa Heyman

Katherine,
It sounds as though your son has deschooled food...perhaps its you who need
to deschool your expectations with food.

We have 4 different eaters in my house for 4 different people - and often on
4 different time schedules. My 8yo dd is a self proclaimed vegan, my dh
eats fish and bird 1 to 2x a week - no red meat, i eat no pasta or whiite
flour but do some type of animal protein daily (very rarely but an
occasional red meat), my teen totally self regulated eats anything in
moderation. Each of us have our dos and don't, likes and dislikes. It
requires planning and forethought on my part to make sure i have the variety
in our house available so that everyone is satisfied.

As for your child who used to eat everything and is now limited in selection
by choice - well this has been my experience for my kids and i just assumed
it was 'normal' <lol>. As younger people my kids were willing to try many
different types food as they were learning and experimenting with the world
around them. At a certain point they started to differentiate what they
liked and didn't like - for any number of reasons - texture, color, ethics,
etc. And so neither child right now will eat mushrooms or fish for example.
One won't eat polenta and the other loves it. There are certain dinner type
meals that everyone in my family will eat - depending on how i cook it...so
i usually make those meals once maybe twice a week. When cooking i tend to
make more than enough so there are left overs easily accessable the next
day. And i keep frozen foods on hand in a pinch.

We eat together sparadically depending on who is going where when. There
are evenings when my dh comes home and i am going out. When i recognize
that we are all going to be eating at the same time, that's when i make the
extra effort to clear off the dinning room table so we can sit down to a
'family' meal. But even then, the food selection is often varied. Ny 8yo
dd likes to eat what we are all eating - which is interesting because she is
vegan. so when we do have bird on the table i make her fake chicken nuggets
or patty (soy free - as 2 in house are alergic to soy protein). Her
veganism has cut down on our overall dairy intake which we all appreciate.
Sometimes when the table is set for us all to eat together one person opts
out because they are in the middle of something that takes precedent for
them.

My kids are not limited to any food chioce. They can eat as much of
anything or as little of anything they want. They don't like fast food
because they have discovered it makes them feel sick afterward. They know
when they need to eat greens or fresh fruit when they've been junking out
more than their body can tolerate. Each of us has our own sensitivities as
to what we can tolerate.

My kids know what's in food because we read labels. They know what's
healthy because they are concerned and interested in thier bodies and
health. but they know they can eat whatever they want without judgment.

i have to stop now because the computer gremlins are harangueing me....i
keep hitting wrong keys...enjoy
Lisa Heyman






Lisa Heyman


Katherine,
It sounds as though your son has deschooled food...perhaps its you who need
to deschool your expectations with food.

We have 4 different eaters in my house for 4 different people - and often on
4 different time schedules. My 8yo dd is a self proclaimed vegan, my dh
eats fish and bird 1 to 2x a week - no red meat, i eat no pasta or whiite
flour but do some type of animal protein daily (very rarely but an
occasional red meat), my teen totally self regulated eats anything in
moderation. Each of us have our dos and don't, likes and dislikes. It
requires planning and forethought on my part to make sure i have the variety
in our house available so that everyone is satisfied.

As for your child who used to eat everything and is now limited in selection
by choice - well this has been my experience for my kids and i just assumed
it was 'normal' <lol>. As younger people my kids were willing to try many
different types food as they were learning and experimenting with the world
around them. At a certain point they started to differentiate what they
liked and didn't like - for any number of reasons - texture, color, ethics,
etc. And so neither child right now will eat mushrooms or fish for example.
One won't eat polenta and the other loves it. There are certain dinner type
meals that everyone in my family will eat - depending on how i cook it...so
i usually make those meals once maybe twice a week. When cooking i tend to
make more than enough so there are left overs easily accessable the next
day. And i keep frozen foods on hand in a pinch.

We eat together sparadically depending on who is going where when. There
are evenings when my dh comes home and i am going out. When i recognize
that we are all going to be eating at the same time, that's when i make the
extra effort to clear off the dinning room table so we can sit down to a
'family' meal. But even then, the food selection is often varied. Ny 8yo
dd likes to eat what we are all eating - which is interesting because she is
vegan. so when we do have bird on the table i make her fake chicken nuggets
or patty (soy free - as 2 in house are alergic to soy protein). Her
veganism has cut down on our overall dairy intake which we all appreciate.
Sometimes dinner is ready and one person (child)

My kids are not limited to any food chioce. They don't like fast food
because they have discovered it makes them feel sick afterward. They know
that eating fresh cooked vegetables and fruits are helathiest chioce because
we are surrounded by







Lisa Heyman

_________________________________________________________________
Exercise your brain! Try Flexicon.
http://games.msn.com/en/flexicon/default.htm?icid=flexicon_hmemailtaglinemarch07

Gwen DellAnno

Wow Lisa: Thanks for this. I just had a conversation this week with a couple of other Moms who are so intense about sitting down EVERY NIGHT as a family and eating together. I think they thought I was really neglectful not to make sure my son was eating what the rest of us are eating when we're eating. Sometimes he wants to, other times he doesn't. I think the key is to have lots of "good" stuff around so that when he's hungry there is something good to eat. Anyways.... just wanted to thank you for letting me know that I'm "not wierd"!!

Gwen


----- Original Message ----
From: Lisa Heyman <Lmanathome@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, April 1, 2007 1:52:40 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re:food

Katherine,
It sounds as though your son has deschooled food...perhaps its you who need
to deschool your expectations with food.

We have 4 different eaters in my house for 4 different people - and often on
4 different time schedules. My 8yo dd is a self proclaimed vegan, my dh
eats fish and bird 1 to 2x a week - no red meat, i eat no pasta or whiite
flour but do some type of animal protein daily (very rarely but an
occasional red meat), my teen totally self regulated eats anything in
moderation. Each of us have our dos and don't, likes and dislikes. It
requires planning and forethought on my part to make sure i have the variety
in our house available so that everyone is satisfied.

As for your child who used to eat everything and is now limited in selection
by choice - well this has been my experience for my kids and i just assumed
it was 'normal' <lol>. As younger people my kids were willing to try many
different types food as they were learning and experimenting with the world
around them. At a certain point they started to differentiate what they
liked and didn't like - for any number of reasons - texture, color, ethics,
etc. And so neither child right now will eat mushrooms or fish for example.
One won't eat polenta and the other loves it. There are certain dinner type
meals that everyone in my family will eat - depending on how i cook it...so
i usually make those meals once maybe twice a week. When cooking i tend to
make more than enough so there are left overs easily accessable the next
day. And i keep frozen foods on hand in a pinch.

We eat together sparadically depending on who is going where when. There
are evenings when my dh comes home and i am going out. When i recognize
that we are all going to be eating at the same time, that's when i make the
extra effort to clear off the dinning room table so we can sit down to a
'family' meal. But even then, the food selection is often varied. Ny 8yo
dd likes to eat what we are all eating - which is interesting because she is
vegan. so when we do have bird on the table i make her fake chicken nuggets
or patty (soy free - as 2 in house are alergic to soy protein). Her
veganism has cut down on our overall dairy intake which we all appreciate.
Sometimes when the table is set for us all to eat together one person opts
out because they are in the middle of something that takes precedent for
them.

My kids are not limited to any food chioce. They can eat as much of
anything or as little of anything they want. They don't like fast food
because they have discovered it makes them feel sick afterward. They know
when they need to eat greens or fresh fruit when they've been junking out
more than their body can tolerate. Each of us has our own sensitivities as
to what we can tolerate.

My kids know what's in food because we read labels. They know what's
healthy because they are concerned and interested in thier bodies and
health. but they know they can eat whatever they want without judgment.

i have to stop now because the computer gremlins are harangueing me....i
keep hitting wrong keys...enjoy
Lisa Heyman

Lisa Heyman

Katherine,
It sounds as though your son has deschooled food...perhaps its you who need
to deschool your expectations with food.

We have 4 different eaters in my house for 4 different people - and often on
4 different time schedules. My 8yo dd is a self proclaimed vegan, my dh
eats fish and bird 1 to 2x a week - no red meat, i eat no pasta or whiite
flour but do some type of animal protein daily (very rarely but an
occasional red meat), my teen totally self regulated eats anything in
moderation. Each of us have our dos and don't, likes and dislikes. It
requires planning and forethought on my part to make sure i have the variety
in our house available so that everyone is satisfied.

As for your child who used to eat everything and is now limited in selection
by choice - well this has been my experience for my kids and i just assumed
it was 'normal' <lol>. As younger people my kids were willing to try many
different types food as they were learning and experimenting with the world
around them. At a certain point they started to differentiate what they
liked and didn't like - for any number of reasons - texture, color, ethics,
etc. And so neither child right now will eat mushrooms or fish for example.
One won't eat polenta and the other loves it. There are certain dinner type
meals that everyone in my family will eat - depending on how i cook it...so
i usually make those meals once maybe twice a week. When cooking i tend to
make more than enough so there are left overs easily accessable the next
day. And i keep frozen foods on hand in a pinch.

We eat together sparadically depending on who is going where when. There
are evenings when my dh comes home and i am going out. When i recognize
that we are all going to be eating at the same time, that's when i make the
extra effort to clear off the dinning room table so we can sit down to a
'family' meal. But even then, the food selection is often varied. Ny 8yo
dd likes to eat what we are all eating - which is interesting because she is
vegan. so when we do have bird on the table i make her fake chicken nuggets
or patty (soy free - as 2 in house are alergic to soy protein). Her
veganism has cut down on our overall dairy intake which we all appreciate.
Sometimes dinner is ready and one person (child)

My kids are not limited to any food chioce. They don't like fast food
because they have discovered it makes them feel sick afterward. They know
that eating fresh cooked vegetables and fruits are helathiest chioce because
we are surrounded by

Lisa Heyman

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Exercise your brain! Try Flexicon.
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Debra Rossing

One thing to keep in mind is that usually somewhere around 4 or 5 tastes
start to change - it's not unusual for an 'eats everything' kid to
"suddenly" narrow down to 3 foods and that's it (like PBJ, cheese and
hot dogs or whatever). In my experience (my DS and other kids around
us), forcing the issue usually creates more trouble than just riding it
out - it will "open up" again in a year or two (DS is now 8 1/2 and has
discovered a love for sushi and sashimi over the last year). In the
meantime, provided that there are no underlying health issues going on,
just keep providing what they will eat, offering (not requiring) things
that you are having, and go with the flow. Something that sometimes
works is to not put any of <whatever> on their plate but rather offer a
small piece from your plate (cut it up, put it on their fork, never has
to touch their plate) - it can overwhelm some kids to have this "unknown
thing" on their own plate BUT they'd gladly taste it from mom's plate.
There's a lot of autonomy stuff going on at around 4 and 5 yrs old that
plays into it as well. If you know that what you are preparing for
dinner is likely not going to happen, go ahead and make sure you've got
the alternative handy (pre-cooked rice in the fridge for example so it
can just be re-heated rather than having to cook it up while your own
meal gets cold). Also, consider activity levels and whether maybe
offering something earlier (for example, 4:30 instead of 5:30 which is
your usual mealtime) might help. I noticed that when my DS was around 4
or so, he'd be getting hungry around 4 or 4:30. What was interesting was
that if he had a small something (crackers and nut butter, string
cheese, whatever like that) around 4:30, he was -more- likely to have
dinner an hour later than if he waited to eat when we sat down to
'dinner' and got really super hungry. It was helpful in an 'appetizer'
kind of way. Something we did to avoid the "multiple meal" situation was
to break meals down into smaller 'parts' and serve some parts as
appetizers. For instance, maybe some tofu cubes and soy sauce to dip in
(since you mentioned tofu) while preparing a meal using more tofu or
putting some cheese cubes on the table while shredding cheese for the
rest of the meal, that sort of thing. That way, it's not really much in
the way of extra preparation (since you've already got the cheese, tofu,
veggies, whatever, 'in process'), you get a little "comfort" knowing
that the kids are getting -something- foodwise into themselves, they can
help themselves (which is good for autonomy loving 4 yr olds), and it
just might "appetize" them into eating when dinner hits the table.

Deb

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[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: katharinewise@...

It's been about a month, maybe longer. Any suggestions? How long
does it take to
deschool food?

-=-=-=-=-

I'd say by the time he's 30, you won't need to worry any more.

<bwg>

Seriously---are you focusing on this at all? Must be if you're writing
about it.

If the child never ate anything but apples and tofu and tortillas and
pb&j, I think he'd still be fine.

Why don't we say 16. If he STILL won't eat anything else, call me. I'll
cook for him! <g>

*Most* children go through a "I-won't-eat-anything-but...." stage. I
remember at three I wouldn't eat *ANYTHING* but Rice Krispies. For
months. I'm still alive.

Just keep making and offering good stuff. He'll eventually choose
something green. <g>

Don't obsess. Cook for youself and your husband. Offer, but make sure
he has what he *will* eat as well as some other options. It'll be OK.
*Especially* if he ate other things before, I doubt this'll last very
long (IF you don't obsess!).



~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org


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Katharine Wise

Seriously--- are you focusing on this at all? Must be if you're writing

about it.



If the child never ate anything but apples and tofu and tortillas and

pb&j, I think he'd still be fine.
*********

My concern isn't for *him*, it's for ME! I know he'll survive on his current diet. And actually, if I knew he was going to want tofu and tortillas for dinner instead of the main entree, I could fix it in advance. But what's happening is I fix our primary dinner, maybe offer him some of the makings (plain pasta and cheese, eg) or something left-over in the fridge that I know he likes, but he announces he wants pb apples, or pesto, or whatever. OR just says he's hungry and when I suggest tofu, he says, "no". So I suggest pb apples, and he says, "no". And this goes on ad infinitum. OR he wants something specific which I could, in theory, make but essentially requires cooking a second meal -- not something quick I can pull out. AND sometimes my 7yo does the same thing -- but of course they don't want the same foods as one another either. And this week I'm lucky if 4yo actually tells me he's hungry instead of screaming it.


Katharine











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Kelly Weyd

I have to admit Katharine that I feel like I'm running a restaurant over here much of the time too, and I have one child with food allergies that I have to take into consideration. My 7 year is hungry constantly, but she is busy so she burns it off very quickly. With her I set a bowl of fruit out every morning for her to snack on the whole day long. I also keep fruit, cheese and cut up vegys in the bottom drawer that the kids can get to. I also keep cereal on a low shelf that they can get to. Those are some suggestions, but hey if others have suggestions throw them out too. I understand how you feel. It seems several nights a week I am cooking 3 different meals, because everyone wants something different. Even hubby and I have completely different tastes when it comes to food. I made a big pot of Chicken Noodle Soup last night with lots of vegy's. The girls freaked out because it had chunks of chicken in it, but last time I made it I left the chicken out and hubby
said to me "who makes chicken noodle soup with no chicken in it?" There is no winning.......and this goes on at every meal. I don't want to make food an issue at all.......I want everyone to eat what they want, when they want (within reason for Mariah since she has some allergies). I think what we are going to have to do is I make everyones favorite meals and put them into portion size containers and freeze them. Then we just microwave portions of food for each person whatever they want each night at dinner. I guess that's one solution.
Kelly

Katharine Wise <katharinewise@...> wrote:


Seriously--- are you focusing on this at all? Must be if you're writing

about it.

If the child never ate anything but apples and tofu and tortillas and

pb&j, I think he'd still be fine.
*********

My concern isn't for *him*, it's for ME! I know he'll survive on his current diet. And actually, if I knew he was going to want tofu and tortillas for dinner instead of the main entree, I could fix it in advance. But what's happening is I fix our primary dinner, maybe offer him some of the makings (plain pasta and cheese, eg) or something left-over in the fridge that I know he likes, but he announces he wants pb apples, or pesto, or whatever. OR just says he's hungry and when I suggest tofu, he says, "no". So I suggest pb apples, and he says, "no". And this goes on ad infinitum. OR he wants something specific which I could, in theory, make but essentially requires cooking a second meal -- not something quick I can pull out. AND sometimes my 7yo does the same thing -- but of course they don't want the same foods as one another either. And this week I'm lucky if 4yo actually tells me he's hungry instead of screaming it.

Katharine

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chandelle'

it really sounds to me like he's just exercising his "no" button without
actually meaning no all the time. have you tried just sticking something in
front of him without comment and then everyone else eating it too without
comment? i'm willing to bet he'd start eating it himself most of the time
under those circumstances. this works like a charm with my 2 y/o. he
rarely wants to eat something unless someone else is too. and he says no
for everything, whether he wants it or not.

On 4/7/07, Kelly Weyd <kellmar98@...> wrote:
>
> I have to admit Katharine that I feel like I'm running a restaurant over
> here much of the time too, and I have one child with food allergies that I
> have to take into consideration. My 7 year is hungry constantly, but she is
> busy so she burns it off very quickly. With her I set a bowl of fruit out
> every morning for her to snack on the whole day long. I also keep fruit,
> cheese and cut up vegys in the bottom drawer that the kids can get to. I
> also keep cereal on a low shelf that they can get to. Those are some
> suggestions, but hey if others have suggestions throw them out too. I
> understand how you feel. It seems several nights a week I am cooking 3
> different meals, because everyone wants something different. Even hubby and
> I have completely different tastes when it comes to food. I made a big pot
> of Chicken Noodle Soup last night with lots of vegy's. The girls freaked
> out because it had chunks of chicken in it, but last time I made it I left
> the chicken out and hubby
> said to me "who makes chicken noodle soup with no chicken in it?" There
> is no winning.......and this goes on at every meal. I don't want to make
> food an issue at all.......I want everyone to eat what they want, when they
> want (within reason for Mariah since she has some allergies). I think what
> we are going to have to do is I make everyones favorite meals and put them
> into portion size containers and freeze them. Then we just microwave
> portions of food for each person whatever they want each night at dinner. I
> guess that's one solution.
> Kelly
>
> Katharine Wise <katharinewise@...> wrote:
>
>
> Seriously--- are you focusing on this at all? Must be if you're writing
>
> about it.
>
> If the child never ate anything but apples and tofu and tortillas and
>
> pb&j, I think he'd still be fine.
> *********
>
> My concern isn't for *him*, it's for ME! I know he'll survive on his
> current diet. And actually, if I knew he was going to want tofu and
> tortillas for dinner instead of the main entree, I could fix it in advance.
> But what's happening is I fix our primary dinner, maybe offer him some of
> the makings (plain pasta and cheese, eg) or something left-over in the
> fridge that I know he likes, but he announces he wants pb apples, or pesto,
> or whatever. OR just says he's hungry and when I suggest tofu, he says,
> "no". So I suggest pb apples, and he says, "no". And this goes on ad
> infinitum. OR he wants something specific which I could, in theory, make but
> essentially requires cooking a second meal -- not something quick I can pull
> out. AND sometimes my 7yo does the same thing -- but of course they don't
> want the same foods as one another either. And this week I'm lucky if 4yo
> actually tells me he's hungry instead of screaming it.
>
> Katharine
>
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--
"Years ago I recognized my kinship with all living things, and I made up my
mind that I was not one bit better than the meanest on the earth. I said
then and I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it; while
there is a criminal element, I am of it; while there is a soul in prison, I
am not free."
-Eugene V. Debs


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

plaidpanties666

--- In [email protected], Kelly Weyd <kellmar98@...>
wrote:
>I made a big pot of Chicken Noodle Soup last night with lots of
>vegy's. The girls freaked out because it had chunks of chicken in
>it, but last time I made it I left the chicken out and hubby
> said to me "who makes chicken noodle soup with no chicken in it?"

If you have home-made or really good quality stock you can make a big
pot of noodle soup - no veggies or chicken, but cook those separately.
If someone wants veggies and/or chicken, they can add them to their
bowl, but with the good stock its nutritious even if one kid only
wants noodles.

---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)

Kelly Weyd

I'm definately going to have to do that next time to make everyone happy!!!!
kelly

plaidpanties666 <plaidpanties666@...> wrote:
--- In [email protected], Kelly Weyd <kellmar98@...>
wrote:
>I made a big pot of Chicken Noodle Soup last night with lots of
>vegy's. The girls freaked out because it had chunks of chicken in
>it, but last time I made it I left the chicken out and hubby
> said to me "who makes chicken noodle soup with no chicken in it?"

If you have home-made or really good quality stock you can make a big
pot of noodle soup - no veggies or chicken, but cook those separately.
If someone wants veggies and/or chicken, they can add them to their
bowl, but with the good stock its nutritious even if one kid only
wants noodles.

---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)






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[email protected]

-----Original Message-----


But how often do they ask?

-=-=-=-

Hardly ever, any more. I mean, maybe twice/year?

-=-=-=-=-

If they asked every day, would you take them there?

-=-=-=-

I did. A lot. Not every day. But yeah.

Used to freak Ben out. Both boys went through the McD's phase. Kid's
meals are cheap.

Mostly it was for the toy---and that's OK too. Sometimes we would just
buy the toy.

But it's a pretty easy way to make a little boy happy. Seriously.

-=-=-=-=-=-


Our kids hardly ever asked to go to fast food restaurants
before we moved last summer. But when we were between houses for 3
months, we
ate out almost every night. Since then, our children have been asking
to eat
fast food almost every time we pass one. They think it's normal now.
And
the problem is that fast food tastes good. If you don't know (or think
about) what's in it, then it's much yummier than fish and rice for
dinner.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Well, even if you do know or think about what's in it, it can taste
better. <g>

But I think it's appealing to children. Period. (Not that all children
are fans, just that it's generally appealing to them.)
 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

it's much yummier than fish and rice for dinner.

-=-=-==-=-=-
 
Well, everyone in my family would choose sushi over McD's!!! So raw
fish and sweet rice rank HIGH here. <g>

But my boys are older. They've had their fill of Happy meals and Big
Macs. They truly don't want or need that now. But I was very, very
willing to give them what they wanted at the time. The most desired
"fast food" restaurants now are Sakura (Japanese), Panera, Subway, El
Burrito, & Yo! Burrito (local joints). All more expensive and further
away than McDonald's!

Also, both boys have gone/are going through vegetarian spells. Cameron
(at 20) has become weirdly fanatic about what he puts into his mouth.
Uber-health conscious. And this from a child who at one time bled
french fries. <G>


As with everything: Be careful what you wish for. And enjoy what you'd
got: you're going to miss it when it's gone.

~Kelly 
 

Kelly Lovejoy 

Conference Coordinator 

Live and Learn Unschooling Conference 

http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org 

Ren Allen

~~Well, everyone in my family would choose sushi over McD's!!!~~

Everyone here other than Bleu and Jalen would too!:)
We learned how to make Sushi rolls from Kelly and crew...many happy
memories there. Many happy memories hanging out at McD's and watching
te kids play too.

Life is too short for me to spend time controlling other people's
choices. WAaaay too short.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com