Alex Noyes

If you've been struggling with something for 4 plus years, I would
recommend therapy. http://michellebarone.com/ is great. Think of it as a
unavoidable medical expense.

To piggyback on the great advice already given, I can recommend Loving What
Is by Byron Katie. Just applying the questions she calls The Work to the
statements you made in your post may be very helpful for you. Is that true?
Can you know for certain that it is true? What is the opposite of that
statement, and how is true? etc. In my life very little has made me more
short with and tense around my kids than believing I need to influence the
behavior of other people in order to be a good mother.

I can't find a good link right now, but look up the Drama Triangle.

This is hopefully not your situation, but there's some stuff I wrote on
this page that may help you focus on how to help your child get some
benefit out of a relationship with relatives with whom you have had
negative experiences. http://sandradodd.com/relatives/livingwith

Hope that helps-
Alex N.


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Sandra Dodd

-=-If you've been struggling with something for 4 plus years, I would
recommend therapy. http://michellebarone.com/ is great. Think of it as a
unavoidable medical expense.-=-

Michelle and some other therapists, counsellors and coaches are listed here. They're all very familiar with unschooling, so you won't need to spend any time explaining THAT part of your life. :-)

http://sandradodd.com/issues/therapy

Sandra

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allesklar59

I'll second the recommendation to this book. I know moms who have used this book to work out issues with their kids, among other things. A couple of years ago, I went to a women's retreat designed around the principles and exercises in this book and found working in small groups very useful, so you might try setting up a book group with some friends to discuss it together.

Diana H.

--- In [email protected], Alex Noyes <missalexmissalex@...> wrote:
>
> If you've been struggling with something for 4 plus years, I would
> recommend therapy. http://michellebarone.com/ is great. Think of it as a
> unavoidable medical expense.
>
> To piggyback on the great advice already given, I can recommend Loving What
> Is by Byron Katie. Just applying the questions she calls The Work to the
> statements you made in your post may be very helpful for you. Is that true?
> Can you know for certain that it is true? What is the opposite of that
> statement, and how is true? etc. In my life very little has made me more
> short with and tense around my kids than believing I need to influence the
> behavior of other people in order to be a good mother.
>
> I can't find a good link right now, but look up the Drama Triangle.
>
> This is hopefully not your situation, but there's some stuff I wrote on
> this page that may help you focus on how to help your child get some
> benefit out of a relationship with relatives with whom you have had
> negative experiences. http://sandradodd.com/relatives/livingwith
>
> Hope that helps-
> Alex N.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>