emstrength3

I had an interested conversation with my kids today that I thought I'd share.

Today we went grocery shopping and I bought the kid ice cream. While we were standing in the check out line, the man in front of us said, "Wow, your mom got you ice cream! She's a nice mom! You must have been good kids today to get ice cream."

I just smiled and said, "Well, we don't use food as a reward, but yes they are good." (Not getting into my dislike of labeling kids good or bad with him).

My 7 year old, who recently stayed with her aunt for a few days, said, "Yah, you're not like aunty _____. When we went to the store with her, she said she would only buy us ice cream if we were good, but you don't do that. You buy us ice cream any time we want!"

I told her that I appreciated when they are cooperative in the store, but that she was right, I would not use food as bribery. Then I asked her what she thought that meant if she wasn't "good." She said she didn't know. I said that the opposite of good is bad. She said, "Oh! No, we aren't bad! We are just kids and we're learning."

I told her that I agreed that they were not bad and that if they were having a hard time, it was usually because they were hungry or tired. They added maybe thirsty or they needed to go to the bathroom or they were overwhelmed. I said that I was glad they were learning to recognize those tings and that when they felt that way, we could help fix the problem so they felt better.

I said that I believed food was for eating. My oldest said, "Yah, it's for eating! It's not like... a trophy!"

When we got home, all three of them wanted the ice cream before dinner and I said yes. All three of them (ages 7, 5, and 2) only ate a few bites before putting it in the freezer to save for later.


Emily

jo kirby

Reminds me of a conversation with my son after a visit to his Gran's. Granny likes to eat three regular meals a day and seems to think anyone who doesn't do that is lacking in some way. We mostly fit in with this when we visit, to suit her and to be polite (we don't visit often!!)

Sam says "Granny gives me biscuits afterwards if I eat all my meal" I asked, "so what do you do?" he said "I eat all my meal if I want to, then I have a biscuit if I fancy one".

Jo


________________________________
From: emstrength3 <emstrength@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, 5 July 2013, 2:50
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] How kids who have never been controlled by food respond to the idea of bribery



 
I had an interested conversation with my kids today that I thought I'd share.

Today we went grocery shopping and I bought the kid ice cream. While we were standing in the check out line, the man in front of us said, "Wow, your mom got you ice cream! She's a nice mom! You must have been good kids today to get ice cream."

I just smiled and said, "Well, we don't use food as a reward, but yes they are good." (Not getting into my dislike of labeling kids good or bad with him).

My 7 year old, who recently stayed with her aunt for a few days, said, "Yah, you're not like aunty _____. When we went to the store with her, she said she would only buy us ice cream if we were good, but you don't do that. You buy us ice cream any time we want!"

I told her that I appreciated when they are cooperative in the store, but that she was right, I would not use food as bribery. Then I asked her what she thought that meant if she wasn't "good." She said she didn't know. I said that the opposite of good is bad. She said, "Oh! No, we aren't bad! We are just kids and we're learning."

I told her that I agreed that they were not bad and that if they were having a hard time, it was usually because they were hungry or tired. They added maybe thirsty or they needed to go to the bathroom or they were overwhelmed. I said that I was glad they were learning to recognize those tings and that when they felt that way, we could help fix the problem so they felt better.

I said that I believed food was for eating. My oldest said, "Yah, it's for eating! It's not like... a trophy!"

When we got home, all three of them wanted the ice cream before dinner and I said yes. All three of them (ages 7, 5, and 2) only ate a few bites before putting it in the freezer to save for later.

Emily




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pam Sorooshian

On Fri, Jul 5, 2013 at 8:08 AM, jo kirby <jokirby2004@...> wrote:

> Sam says "Granny gives me biscuits afterwards if I eat all my meal" I
> asked, "so what do you do?" he said "I eat all my meal if I want to, then I
> have a biscuit if I fancy one".
>

Sweet.

My kids always ate what they wanted when they wanted. One of them once
asked me, "What is dessert?" (pudding for you Brits)

I said it is something sweet you eat after dinner. She asked what you call
it when you eat something sweet before dinner.

-pam


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

chris ester

My children used to think that dessert was only from a restaurant. Because
we didn't assign labels to food unless we were in a restaurant.

I was planning a dinner party and was writing notes about "starters",
"mains" and desserts....

My daughter actually said, "Are we playing restaurant?"
Chris


On Fri, Jul 5, 2013 at 11:22 AM, Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...>wrote:

> **
>
>
> On Fri, Jul 5, 2013 at 8:08 AM, jo kirby <jokirby2004@...> wrote:
>
> > Sam says "Granny gives me biscuits afterwards if I eat all my meal" I
> > asked, "so what do you do?" he said "I eat all my meal if I want to,
> then I
> > have a biscuit if I fancy one".
> >
>
> Sweet.
>
> My kids always ate what they wanted when they wanted. One of them once
> asked me, "What is dessert?" (pudding for you Brits)
>
> I said it is something sweet you eat after dinner. She asked what you call
> it when you eat something sweet before dinner.
>
> -pam
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]