Sandra Dodd

I'm grateful for a house big enough that I can get up and do things when I can't sleep. And I'm amused that, having given up on sleeping at 3:15 a.m., I came upstairs to clean the kitchen so Marty could eat breakfast more easily, then Holly came home at 3:30, and then Marty got up at 3:45. Quite the busy half hour! :-)

Marty works at 4:30 some mornings. Holly's working at 12:30, and has plenty of time to sleep before then. People kept saying if we didn't have scheduled bedtimes our kids wouldn't be able to hold jobs. :-)

Marty is working at Target (for foreigners, a big department store), unloading the once-a-morning truck and stocking shelves (some of truck unloading and some shelf-stocking, different days). Because they've rearranged the store for Christmas, and because there is this increasingly pernicious "black Friday" thing in the U.S., of stores having competing sales on the day after Thanksgiving, when many people are off work for that four-day weekend... there is a LOT of work in the store these days. Some days he only works three or four hours. Sometimes they would love for him to stay for eight, but he's taking classes four days a week.

OH!!! And four days a week reminds me...
Holly told the story of a family she knows (kid in school, seven) whose grandfather is pressuring the parents. They're done what he sees as a bad thing, Holly says. The boy (who is seven; that seems important to Holly) goes to a charter school with a four-day week. The grandfather says the boy is going to grow up thinking the world is that way, with three-day weekends.

The boy is seven.

My son Kirby works four overnight shifts of ten hours, and has a three-day weekend.

My kids' friend Brett Henry (who was unschooled) is a fireman who works 48 hours all in one lump, with a four-day weekend, and the schedule rolling backwards, so the 48 hours (7:00 a.m. to another 7:00 a.m.) aren't on the same days every week, and everyone there has Saturday/Sunday off, as the rotation goes through the weeks.

Marty's girlfriend Ashlee is working for an ambulance company as an EMT and driver. She works three twelve- to thirteen-hour shifts, and has a four-day weekend. Ashlee went to regular school. She was a cheerleader. She wasn't prepared for these odd hours. Her three shifts have different starting times.

Life isn't the way it was when towns closed down at 5:30, and even in those days many people worked outside those hours (bakeries, restaurants, hotels, security, transportation, farming, lamplighting, medical professionals and such).

Perhaps it's partly classism (white collar jobs, in the 19th century and early-20th-century sense, as opposed to "laborers" and servant kinds of jobs). Partly, it's electric lights and heat (electric or gas) that made a difference, too. People can still work even when the sun is down. Partly it's inflexibility and age. Partly it's that sort of justification and resentment with which older people think/feel/say "it's not fair" when younger people get to do things that they didn't get to do when they were younger.

But for less than an hour, this morning before 4:15, my house had three adults awake and busy, and one adult sleeping. :-) And because of electrical appliances, dishes are being washed and clothes are being dried, and I get to write to people a long way from me who might read it almost immediately, or when they wake up, or in a month or a year.

Sandra

Trista Teeter

== People kept saying if we didn't have scheduled bedtimes our kids wouldn't be able to hold jobs. :-) ==

Last night, I too was very grateful for the lifestyle and ideas we've adopted in regards to sleeping schedules...

A year or so ago our Friday evening would have consisted of ordering a pizza, hiding it from our kids so we could enjoy it ourselves, trying desperately to get them in bed before 8pm so we could have our Adult Time, but struggling with everything from them eating dinner quickly enough to brushing their teeth to staying in bed.  Then my 4 year old would have been out of his bed at least once at night, begging to come sleep with us and I would have had to choose his comfort of sleeping with us or my husband's comfort of having enough space to comfortably sleep.  My 6 year old would want her light on and door open because she's scared when her brother is not in there, and the light would have kept me awake.  And we all would have been tired, grumpy and frustrated and woken up the next morning harboring those same feelings.

Fast-forward to last night.  My husband said he would like a pizza for dinner.  I preferred Pita Pit.  The kids (4 and 6) passed on pizza in favor of Subway.  I ran around and picked everyone's goodies up and brought them back to my very thankful family.  My son had been waiting all day to play Minecraft with his dad, so I joined in watching them for a bit.  Come 8pm there was no bedtime, there was wrestling and playing with oobleck.  Then we hunkered down to introduce the kids to Star Wars.  Around 10pm my 4 year old asked me to help him brush his teeth and go to bed with him (we've now combined our beds to make one giant bed).  Around 1:30am my 6 year old came in and whispered to me if I was awake.  And she told me very excitedly, "Daddy and I snuggled on the couch and watched Star Wars and Mythbusters and ate some chocolate chips." and gave a huge contented sigh.  I heard her dad come back in, walk over to her and say, "I forgot to give you
a kiss goodnight."  He walked back out and she asked me if jellyfish have eyeballs.  We both fell asleep shortly after discussing the anatomy of jellyfish and I was woken up by my 4 year old wrapping his arms around me and snuggling into my side and the biggest smile plastered on his face.

A year ago I would have seen no other way--we were doing bedtime just like everyone else, which had to make it right.  The adults need adult time so they could "recharge", the kids need their regularly-scheduled sleep times in order to function properly.  Right? 

I cannot tell you how glad we are that we've let go of the "normal bedtime routine" and all of the concepts behind it.  Life is so, so much richer now.
A BIG thank you to this group!

Trista

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Stephanie Selby

Works well for us! I am a late sleeper, so it follows suit I needed kids
that would sleep in, without a bedtime, they sleep in with me. Girls, 4 and
6, sleep in a full sized bed in my room or sleep in the finished basement.
Husband's job is extremely flexible, some nights he works really late
trouble-shooting, other days he stays home. He travels and we go with him.
Without a bedtime, they get to spend time with their dad, more than the 2
hours many fathers get. Obviously because of this choice, we don't try to
cram dinner and homework into those few hours. And whoever said jobs are a
certain time are living in a different mindset, husband earned his PhD and
never did the 9-5, he has a very hard time with that and he was schooled.
(funny you mentioned oobleck, we played with that last night!)

Stephanie

On Sat, Nov 17, 2012 at 11:16 AM, Trista Teeter <tristaleann@...>wrote:

> **
>
>
> == People kept saying if we didn't have scheduled bedtimes our kids
> wouldn't be able to hold jobs. :-) ==
>
> Last night, I too was very grateful for the lifestyle and ideas we've
> adopted in regards to sleeping schedules...
>
> A year or so ago our Friday evening would have consisted of ordering a
> pizza, hiding it from our kids so we could enjoy it ourselves, trying
> desperately to get them in bed before 8pm so we could have our Adult Time,
> but struggling with everything from them eating dinner quickly enough to
> brushing their teeth to staying in bed. Then my 4 year old would have been
> out of his bed at least once at night, begging to come sleep with us and I
> would have had to choose his comfort of sleeping with us or my husband's
> comfort of having enough space to comfortably sleep. My 6 year old would
> want her light on and door open because she's scared when her brother is
> not in there, and the light would have kept me awake. And we all would
> have been tired, grumpy and frustrated and woken up the next morning
> harboring those same feelings.
>
> Fast-forward to last night. My husband said he would like a pizza for
> dinner. I preferred Pita Pit. The kids (4 and 6) passed on pizza in favor
> of Subway. I ran around and picked everyone's goodies up and brought them
> back to my very thankful family. My son had been waiting all day to play
> Minecraft with his dad, so I joined in watching them for a bit. Come 8pm
> there was no bedtime, there was wrestling and playing with oobleck. Then
> we hunkered down to introduce the kids to Star Wars. Around 10pm my 4 year
> old asked me to help him brush his teeth and go to bed with him (we've now
> combined our beds to make one giant bed). Around 1:30am my 6 year old came
> in and whispered to me if I was awake. And she told me very excitedly,
> "Daddy and I snuggled on the couch and watched Star Wars and Mythbusters
> and ate some chocolate chips." and gave a huge contented sigh. I heard her
> dad come back in, walk over to her and say, "I forgot to give you
> a kiss goodnight." He walked back out and she asked me if jellyfish have
> eyeballs. We both fell asleep shortly after discussing the anatomy of
> jellyfish and I was woken up by my 4 year old wrapping his arms around me
> and snuggling into my side and the biggest smile plastered on his face.
>
> A year ago I would have seen no other way--we were doing bedtime just like
> everyone else, which had to make it right. The adults need adult time so
> they could "recharge", the kids need their regularly-scheduled sleep times
> in order to function properly. Right?
>
> I cannot tell you how glad we are that we've let go of the "normal bedtime
> routine" and all of the concepts behind it. Life is so, so much richer now.
> A BIG thank you to this group!
>
> Trista
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]