selecting guardians for unschoolers
Katie McGervey
Hi all I'm an unschooling mom to 2 boys (9 and 5) and a reader of this
list, but a new poster.
In my circle (not un or homeschooling), there has been a rash of unexpected
parental death recently. It makes us realize more fully the importance of
our unfinished wills and assignment of guardians for our children in the
case that something should happen to both of us. We have dithered since the
beginning about whom to ask to fill the guardian role. I'm curious about
how others have done this. Our considerations include: staying close by
geographically vs going to a godparent far away, staying within our church
community vs. moving across town with an aunt (which would almost be like
moving far away geographically as we're in a metropolitan area and aunt's
circle doesn't overlap ours), asking our closest family friends with kids
the same age who are rather overwhelmed with their own kids (might be a
better choice as the youngest kids approach 10yo). And on top of that how
to ask a guardian to continue homeschooling, preferably unschooling. We are
just starting to get to know other unschoolers in our area and don't have
any likely candidates. Do you pick unschoolers over other things even if
you're not crazy about all the other family's choices.
I don't usually spend a lot of time worrying about risks that are this
small, but this is a biggy.
I'd love to hear your considerations and thought process in this decision.
Thanks, Katie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
list, but a new poster.
In my circle (not un or homeschooling), there has been a rash of unexpected
parental death recently. It makes us realize more fully the importance of
our unfinished wills and assignment of guardians for our children in the
case that something should happen to both of us. We have dithered since the
beginning about whom to ask to fill the guardian role. I'm curious about
how others have done this. Our considerations include: staying close by
geographically vs going to a godparent far away, staying within our church
community vs. moving across town with an aunt (which would almost be like
moving far away geographically as we're in a metropolitan area and aunt's
circle doesn't overlap ours), asking our closest family friends with kids
the same age who are rather overwhelmed with their own kids (might be a
better choice as the youngest kids approach 10yo). And on top of that how
to ask a guardian to continue homeschooling, preferably unschooling. We are
just starting to get to know other unschoolers in our area and don't have
any likely candidates. Do you pick unschoolers over other things even if
you're not crazy about all the other family's choices.
I don't usually spend a lot of time worrying about risks that are this
small, but this is a biggy.
I'd love to hear your considerations and thought process in this decision.
Thanks, Katie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=- And on top of that how
to ask a guardian to continue homeschooling, preferably unschooling. -=-
Unless you have a BUNCH of money are are offering to support the potential guardian fully (financially), you can't really ask such a thing.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
to ask a guardian to continue homeschooling, preferably unschooling. -=-
Unless you have a BUNCH of money are are offering to support the potential guardian fully (financially), you can't really ask such a thing.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
I agree with Sandra without financial backing you can't really ask such a thing. And beyond the cost there is also the tremendous time commitment and possible philosophical disagreements.
I do, however, think it would be reasonable to request they attend a free school or democratic school if such a thing exists in your area and you can provide financial support for - maybe with a life insurance policy specifically for such a thing.
If unschooling/homeschooling is a priority for your kids and your family have you considered asking a close friend who also shares these values? We have good friends who unschool and if anything happened to us one or all of our kids would likely stay with them. It is easier for us because our kids are teens...but I think it is important to talk to your kids about this too. What would they want? Are they capable or willing to express preferences if needed...etc.
Now, friendships often ebb and flow but you can always change the guardian if need be. We've at different times had different family members as potential guardians based on what is happening in the family...situations change just as relationships. Just because an individual or couple may fit as a potential guardian now it by no means you are obligated to keep them as guardian if your feelings/circumstances change.
Kelly
Sent from my BlackBerry� by Boost Mobile
-----Original Message-----
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Tue, 14 Feb 2012 12:24:03
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] selecting guardians for unschoolers
-=- And on top of that how
to ask a guardian to continue homeschooling, preferably unschooling. -=-
Unless you have a BUNCH of money are are offering to support the potential guardian fully (financially), you can't really ask such a thing.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I do, however, think it would be reasonable to request they attend a free school or democratic school if such a thing exists in your area and you can provide financial support for - maybe with a life insurance policy specifically for such a thing.
If unschooling/homeschooling is a priority for your kids and your family have you considered asking a close friend who also shares these values? We have good friends who unschool and if anything happened to us one or all of our kids would likely stay with them. It is easier for us because our kids are teens...but I think it is important to talk to your kids about this too. What would they want? Are they capable or willing to express preferences if needed...etc.
Now, friendships often ebb and flow but you can always change the guardian if need be. We've at different times had different family members as potential guardians based on what is happening in the family...situations change just as relationships. Just because an individual or couple may fit as a potential guardian now it by no means you are obligated to keep them as guardian if your feelings/circumstances change.
Kelly
Sent from my BlackBerry� by Boost Mobile
-----Original Message-----
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
Sender: [email protected]
Date: Tue, 14 Feb 2012 12:24:03
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] selecting guardians for unschoolers
-=- And on top of that how
to ask a guardian to continue homeschooling, preferably unschooling. -=-
Unless you have a BUNCH of money are are offering to support the potential guardian fully (financially), you can't really ask such a thing.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
When our kids were younger, we had paperwork in place to make my friend Jeff their guardian. As they got older, he got married and had kids who were in school, I had talked to him about hiring someone to stay with them at our house, making sure they had what they needed. He would have been financial, legal guardian but would have hired a caretaker (or couple or family) with the kids' advice and approval. We had ideas as time went by who it might have been. He knew some of my unschooling friends and could have taken advice from them, too.
We would have left enough money to support the house and kids.
They're grown now. We were lucky.
Sandra
We would have left enough money to support the house and kids.
They're grown now. We were lucky.
Sandra
Lyla Wolfenstein
we are actually meeting with our attorney (and my employer) who specializes
in family estate planning today to do just this. we have my mom and
another unschooling friend (both in a different state from us, but the same
town as each other) listed as guardians. we are lucky in that our kids
would continue to be unschooled in that situation, by default. we'd leave
money, for their care, but keeping them home from school wouldn't increase
the costs to the guardians because they are already home with their kids.
also, we plan to put into writing that if something should happen to us in
the next year (when my daughter will be 18, she could be emancipated. it's
really important to do the guardianship designation correctly (for your
state), because done incorrectly, there are many loopholes and caveats that
can cause problems, even when you think it's been taken care of. here's an
article our attorney wrote on the subject:
http://candiceaistonlawblog.typepad.com/law_offices_of_candice_n_/2011/12/the-9-planning-mistakes-parents-make.html
it's for oregon, but mostly applies to other states as well, i think
lyla
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
in family estate planning today to do just this. we have my mom and
another unschooling friend (both in a different state from us, but the same
town as each other) listed as guardians. we are lucky in that our kids
would continue to be unschooled in that situation, by default. we'd leave
money, for their care, but keeping them home from school wouldn't increase
the costs to the guardians because they are already home with their kids.
also, we plan to put into writing that if something should happen to us in
the next year (when my daughter will be 18, she could be emancipated. it's
really important to do the guardianship designation correctly (for your
state), because done incorrectly, there are many loopholes and caveats that
can cause problems, even when you think it's been taken care of. here's an
article our attorney wrote on the subject:
http://candiceaistonlawblog.typepad.com/law_offices_of_candice_n_/2011/12/the-9-planning-mistakes-parents-make.html
it's for oregon, but mostly applies to other states as well, i think
lyla
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]