How to drop the Santa myth?
Adam Dealan-de
Hi all,
Still slowly getting my feet wet with unschooling. Still have hang ups
on sugar and video/internet watching with my 4 and 2 year old. But we
are seriously loving watching old Voyager epiisodes of star trek. I
read the books at bedtime to my 4 year old. Anyway, up until now my
wife and I have been engaging in the whole santa thing. And I am ready
to give that up and share with her the truth. I am trying to find the
best way but realize that some damage to trust and a sense of magic in
the world might be lost. Anyone go through this? Any first hand
experience on what worked and what didn't? Thanks Sandra for the posts
in the past on sugar and videos...still reading through. Hope to get
myself on board fully.
Adam
Still slowly getting my feet wet with unschooling. Still have hang ups
on sugar and video/internet watching with my 4 and 2 year old. But we
are seriously loving watching old Voyager epiisodes of star trek. I
read the books at bedtime to my 4 year old. Anyway, up until now my
wife and I have been engaging in the whole santa thing. And I am ready
to give that up and share with her the truth. I am trying to find the
best way but realize that some damage to trust and a sense of magic in
the world might be lost. Anyone go through this? Any first hand
experience on what worked and what didn't? Thanks Sandra for the posts
in the past on sugar and videos...still reading through. Hope to get
myself on board fully.
Adam
Sandra Dodd
-=- Anyway, up until now my
wife and I have been engaging in the whole santa thing. And I am ready
to give that up and share with her the truth. I am trying to find the
best way but realize that some damage to trust and a sense of magic in
the world might be lost. Anyone go through this? Any first hand
experience on what worked and what didn't?-=-
We "did Santa" but we didn't lie.
I would tell the kids to put stockings up, because I always did when I was a kid, and in the morning there were gifts.
When asked if I believed Santa was real, I said I had never seen him, if that's what the question was, but what I did know was if people put out stockings, there would be stuff in them in the morning. And that was true.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
wife and I have been engaging in the whole santa thing. And I am ready
to give that up and share with her the truth. I am trying to find the
best way but realize that some damage to trust and a sense of magic in
the world might be lost. Anyone go through this? Any first hand
experience on what worked and what didn't?-=-
We "did Santa" but we didn't lie.
I would tell the kids to put stockings up, because I always did when I was a kid, and in the morning there were gifts.
When asked if I believed Santa was real, I said I had never seen him, if that's what the question was, but what I did know was if people put out stockings, there would be stuff in them in the morning. And that was true.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
otherstar
>>>I am trying to find the best way but realize that some damage to trust and a sense of magic in the world might be lost. Anyone go through this? Any first hand experience on what worked and what didn't?<<<My 9 year old has always known that her dad is Santa. She is big on wanting to know facts and isn't really into magic and fantasy. My younger girls (2 & 4) don't really seem to care as long as they get presents. Whenever Santa discussions come up with my 6 year old, she says that he is real and expresses that she doesn't want anybody to say otherwise. I am pretty sure that she knows the truth but she has always loved to use her imagination and doesn't like anybody to interfere with her fantasy world. As a result, we don't do anything to destroy her belief in Santa. Every child is different.
Connie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lalow
My kids have all believed in Santa Claus. My now 9 year old has always been dubious about it and even at 3 and 4 asked alot of questions about but how would he do this or that. We never lied to him, always made a game out of it. Always talked about how fun it is to believe in him etc.. I honestly thinking he has always been on the fence about it but this year when he turned 9 he said to me, " I am nine now mom, I think it is time I know about Santa Claus, are you and daddy the ones that give us the presents?" and I said yes. And then we had a discussion about how the other kids (7, 7 and 5) still like to believe in him and how we can have fun with it. My almost 8 year old, told me that he still believes in Santa, he loves to imagine things, he has a great imagination and likes fantasy and magic. I never felt betrayed or lied to as a kid about Santa. My parents treated it all much the same way we have. We had fun with it all. When I asked my mother about him, I think she was surprised I still believed in Santa. I was about 9 too I think. We just talked about how fun things like that are.
I never really believed in the Easter Bunny, not sure that my kids ever have either... just a little too wierd for me. Big Bunny in a suit dropping eggs. But we have always had fun with that too. Spend days before Easter as a child planning the traps we were going to set for him.
I never really believed in the Easter Bunny, not sure that my kids ever have either... just a little too wierd for me. Big Bunny in a suit dropping eggs. But we have always had fun with that too. Spend days before Easter as a child planning the traps we were going to set for him.
Lisa E Biesemeyer
Adam wrote: "Anyway, up until now my wife and I have been engaging in the whole
santa thing. And I am ready to give that up and share with her the truth."
I wonder what you think is the benefit of telling your 4 year old "the truth"?
Also, do you not think that your 4 year old will then tell your 2 year old, for
whom Santa is pretty brand new and likely a wonderful, maybe a little
frightening and mysterious idea? Why are *you* ready to "give that up"? Is it
the notion that "the truth" is more important, more valuable than the myth? Do
you think that your 4 year old even really *knows* the difference at this point
in her development/life?
I remember being around 9 years old when my dad told me that Santa Claus was not
an *actual* person who gave us presents. I had had a feeling at that point that
something about Santa Claus delivering toys to ALL the kids in the world on one
night was a bit far fetched, but I was not ready to *believe* my dad that Santa
was not real. In fact, I recall being in my early 20s, visiting my family home
while on break from university, and snuggling in bed with my sister (who was in
her late teens) on Christmas Eve. We both, to this day, will tell you that we
heard hooves on the roof... the magic of Santa was/is that real for us despite
"the truth".
Moreover, my 4 year old dd and I watched "The History of Christmas" last month,
and Santa Claus is explored thoroughly, from real man to magical character/myth.
So, if you intend to tell her "the truth", you may want to explore this history/
version as well.
Here's the link:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001DXS41A/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_3?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B0007WFULA&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=18N12XXG54F7Z32H2GQP
Lisa B
Lisa Biesemeyer
________________________________
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
santa thing. And I am ready to give that up and share with her the truth."
I wonder what you think is the benefit of telling your 4 year old "the truth"?
Also, do you not think that your 4 year old will then tell your 2 year old, for
whom Santa is pretty brand new and likely a wonderful, maybe a little
frightening and mysterious idea? Why are *you* ready to "give that up"? Is it
the notion that "the truth" is more important, more valuable than the myth? Do
you think that your 4 year old even really *knows* the difference at this point
in her development/life?
I remember being around 9 years old when my dad told me that Santa Claus was not
an *actual* person who gave us presents. I had had a feeling at that point that
something about Santa Claus delivering toys to ALL the kids in the world on one
night was a bit far fetched, but I was not ready to *believe* my dad that Santa
was not real. In fact, I recall being in my early 20s, visiting my family home
while on break from university, and snuggling in bed with my sister (who was in
her late teens) on Christmas Eve. We both, to this day, will tell you that we
heard hooves on the roof... the magic of Santa was/is that real for us despite
"the truth".
Moreover, my 4 year old dd and I watched "The History of Christmas" last month,
and Santa Claus is explored thoroughly, from real man to magical character/myth.
So, if you intend to tell her "the truth", you may want to explore this history/
version as well.
Here's the link:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001DXS41A/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_3?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B0007WFULA&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=18N12XXG54F7Z32H2GQP
Lisa B
Lisa Biesemeyer
________________________________
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Lisa E Biesemeyer
I wrote: "Is it the notion that "the truth" is more important, more valuable
than the myth?"
I would like to add, especially after Sandra's post on this, that I don't think
that upholding a myth is not telling the truth/lying. If your 4yo (or any
child/person for that matter) is *asking* to know about or understand something
better, then I think that is a parent's cue to find an explanation that is more
in line with "the truth". However, if said child/person seems to value the myth
or story as it is, why not be open to exploring *that* with them? All myths and
stories have elements of "truth" anyhow. But then again, I suppose that this
discussion could also be about "facts" versus "truth" as they are different.
Lisa B
Lisa Biesemeyer
________________________________
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
than the myth?"
I would like to add, especially after Sandra's post on this, that I don't think
that upholding a myth is not telling the truth/lying. If your 4yo (or any
child/person for that matter) is *asking* to know about or understand something
better, then I think that is a parent's cue to find an explanation that is more
in line with "the truth". However, if said child/person seems to value the myth
or story as it is, why not be open to exploring *that* with them? All myths and
stories have elements of "truth" anyhow. But then again, I suppose that this
discussion could also be about "facts" versus "truth" as they are different.
Lisa B
Lisa Biesemeyer
________________________________
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On 12/1/2010 9:19 AM, Lisa E Biesemeyer wrote:
wasn't real. He is furious. He seems to be embarrassed and feels
ashamed and duped. Not good.
My niece was terrified of Santa coming into their house during the
night. My sister took her kids' presents from Santa to Grandma's house
and they went there in the morning to find what Santa had left them. My
niece was so worried he'd come into their house on Christmas Eve that
she would go around and check all the doors and windows (no fireplace).
When I was a kid and started to get the feeling something was being
pulled over on me, I was embarrassed. It felt like a big huge practical
joke was being played on me and I didn't like it at all. I still don't
like practical jokes. Once I got to the point that I really knew my
parents were Santa Claus, it was a lot more fun for me to engage in all
the imaginative stuff, without the tension of not understanding.
That said - I would treat the whole thing as a big happy imaginative
pretend game. I wouldn't sit a 4 yo down and tell her anything - but
just treat it as a fun pretend thing. I wouldn't lie, though, at all. If
they asked, "Who really brings the presents on Christmas?" I might say,
"Well, how about let's just say Santa," but I'd do it with a smile and
maybe a wink. If my kids asked really direct and pointed questions, I'd
say, "Do you want just the facts or the fun playing-pretend version?"
-pam
> I wonder what you think is the benefit of telling your 4 year old "theOne of my friends has a son who just this WEEK figured out that Santa
> truth"?
wasn't real. He is furious. He seems to be embarrassed and feels
ashamed and duped. Not good.
My niece was terrified of Santa coming into their house during the
night. My sister took her kids' presents from Santa to Grandma's house
and they went there in the morning to find what Santa had left them. My
niece was so worried he'd come into their house on Christmas Eve that
she would go around and check all the doors and windows (no fireplace).
When I was a kid and started to get the feeling something was being
pulled over on me, I was embarrassed. It felt like a big huge practical
joke was being played on me and I didn't like it at all. I still don't
like practical jokes. Once I got to the point that I really knew my
parents were Santa Claus, it was a lot more fun for me to engage in all
the imaginative stuff, without the tension of not understanding.
That said - I would treat the whole thing as a big happy imaginative
pretend game. I wouldn't sit a 4 yo down and tell her anything - but
just treat it as a fun pretend thing. I wouldn't lie, though, at all. If
they asked, "Who really brings the presents on Christmas?" I might say,
"Well, how about let's just say Santa," but I'd do it with a smile and
maybe a wink. If my kids asked really direct and pointed questions, I'd
say, "Do you want just the facts or the fun playing-pretend version?"
-pam
[email protected]
I have said to my then 7 year old, after a neighbor kid told her Santa didn't exist, "do you want me to tell you what other people believe to be true, or what you want to believe?" I knew she wasn't ready to let go of it. On the other end of it, my 8 year old son never really accepted the Santa story as true, but plays along in his own way.
I've also told some kids (we have five, now ages 3 - 13) that Santa is as "real" as Mickey Mouse, or Blue's Clues (or whatever other character) - and we have traveled thousands of miles to theme parks to visit them, so that's real enough for them! :-)
Jill
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I've also told some kids (we have five, now ages 3 - 13) that Santa is as "real" as Mickey Mouse, or Blue's Clues (or whatever other character) - and we have traveled thousands of miles to theme parks to visit them, so that's real enough for them! :-)
Jill
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
k
>>>When I was a kid and started to get the feeling something was beingpulled over on me, I was embarrassed. It felt like a big huge practical
joke was being played on me and I didn't like it at all.<<<
I felt like that too. Not about Santa per se but similar things. It often
seemed to me that I wasn't in the know and that it was on purpose to throw
me off so people could laugh at my mistake. Of course it just happened not
on purpose. And it's a subtle thing. Nobody but me knew how I felt about it
unless I let on. But sometimes I didn't know if people could tell how I was
feeling or thinking. Or not until way later.
That is a developmental thing. Learning all sorts of things about what is
true and isn't. How much I'm being told outright and if there's more to it
or not. And I always appreciated the light touch my granddad had with that
sort of thing. It was not personal but inclusive. It's hard to explain but
he had a knack. He somehow seemed to know only as much as I did and no more
than I knew. He didn't come off as too wise for us kids to relate to. I wish
I was good at that like he was.
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Chaley Scott
We have always done the santa thing but my 10 year old has now announced that
she knows the truth and she did last year too - she didn't tell us because she
thought it would upset us because we love christmas so much! So she continued
the 'lie' for our sakes! I am worried about my son whose 9. He adores
christmas and totally believes still. I just know he will be furious with me
when he finds out I have 'lied' to him so I am starting to avoid outright lies
and trying to introduce the concept that it is a game. Its difficult though.
Chaley-Ann Scott
Author
THE UNCHAINED CHILD; Free Your Child, Free Yourself
LABEL LOVE; Why the Establishment Wants to Label our Children and How to Fight
Back.
www.theunchainedchild.com
________________________________
From: k <katherand@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thu, 2 December, 2010 5:28:41 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] How to drop the Santa myth?
joke was being played on me and I didn't like it at all.<<<
I felt like that too. Not about Santa per se but similar things. It often
seemed to me that I wasn't in the know and that it was on purpose to throw
me off so people could laugh at my mistake. Of course it just happened not
on purpose. And it's a subtle thing. Nobody but me knew how I felt about it
unless I let on. But sometimes I didn't know if people could tell how I was
feeling or thinking. Or not until way later.
That is a developmental thing. Learning all sorts of things about what is
true and isn't. How much I'm being told outright and if there's more to it
or not. And I always appreciated the light touch my granddad had with that
sort of thing. It was not personal but inclusive. It's hard to explain but
he had a knack. He somehow seemed to know only as much as I did and no more
than I knew. He didn't come off as too wise for us kids to relate to. I wish
I was good at that like he was.
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
she knows the truth and she did last year too - she didn't tell us because she
thought it would upset us because we love christmas so much! So she continued
the 'lie' for our sakes! I am worried about my son whose 9. He adores
christmas and totally believes still. I just know he will be furious with me
when he finds out I have 'lied' to him so I am starting to avoid outright lies
and trying to introduce the concept that it is a game. Its difficult though.
Chaley-Ann Scott
Author
THE UNCHAINED CHILD; Free Your Child, Free Yourself
LABEL LOVE; Why the Establishment Wants to Label our Children and How to Fight
Back.
www.theunchainedchild.com
________________________________
From: k <katherand@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thu, 2 December, 2010 5:28:41 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] How to drop the Santa myth?
>>>When I was a kid and started to get the feeling something was beingpulled over on me, I was embarrassed. It felt like a big huge practical
joke was being played on me and I didn't like it at all.<<<
I felt like that too. Not about Santa per se but similar things. It often
seemed to me that I wasn't in the know and that it was on purpose to throw
me off so people could laugh at my mistake. Of course it just happened not
on purpose. And it's a subtle thing. Nobody but me knew how I felt about it
unless I let on. But sometimes I didn't know if people could tell how I was
feeling or thinking. Or not until way later.
That is a developmental thing. Learning all sorts of things about what is
true and isn't. How much I'm being told outright and if there's more to it
or not. And I always appreciated the light touch my granddad had with that
sort of thing. It was not personal but inclusive. It's hard to explain but
he had a knack. He somehow seemed to know only as much as I did and no more
than I knew. He didn't come off as too wise for us kids to relate to. I wish
I was good at that like he was.
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
We've never done the Santa thing, here - when Mo was younger, and Clifford the big red dog was her imaginary friend, I likened Santa to Clifford. And yet in the past Mo has said she "believed" in Santa (it hasn't come up yet, this year... she's 9). I'm not sure what she means by that or that *she's* sure what she means by it, but its not really a big deal. There's no lack of mystery and wonder in Mo's childhood, year 'round - Santa doesn't seem to add or detract from that.
---Meredith
---Meredith
Sandra Dodd
-=-I have said to my then 7 year old, after a neighbor kid told her Santa didn't exist, "do you want me to tell you what other people believe to be true, or what you want to believe?-=-
As advice to others, I think this is dangerous thinking.
I can't change the fact that that's what you said to your child. :-)
Perhaps, though, I could caution others about making statements about what other people believe to be true (there's quite a range of belief and presentation, when it comes to Santa Claus), and ESPECIALLY against assuming one knows what a child wants to believe.
There are usually more than two options in any case.
One could fairly and safely say "different people believe different things." And "Like what?" could have three or four versions.
No child needs ALL the details of anything--not of where babies come from, or what was WWII about, or is Santa Claus real.
There's a lot of unschooling fodder in the idea of how much to tell children when they ask a question. And there are morality and integrity issues to examine when parents decide how they will present information.
Recently I was talking to a mom who was not religious but who had religious parents/inlaws, and she wanted to know how to advise a child to act around religious situations. The mom was confusion belief and behavior. I don't have to believe in all the mysterious juju/glory of New Mexico-style Roman Catholicism in order to behave myself at a midnight mass. I know how to be respectful of other people's experiences and expectations. That's something people should consider around winter holidays and all kinds of religious and cultural beliefs, expectations and behaviors.
The choice is not "lie" or "tell everything you know." The best choices might be in the range of keep it fun and sweet and happy.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
As advice to others, I think this is dangerous thinking.
I can't change the fact that that's what you said to your child. :-)
Perhaps, though, I could caution others about making statements about what other people believe to be true (there's quite a range of belief and presentation, when it comes to Santa Claus), and ESPECIALLY against assuming one knows what a child wants to believe.
There are usually more than two options in any case.
One could fairly and safely say "different people believe different things." And "Like what?" could have three or four versions.
No child needs ALL the details of anything--not of where babies come from, or what was WWII about, or is Santa Claus real.
There's a lot of unschooling fodder in the idea of how much to tell children when they ask a question. And there are morality and integrity issues to examine when parents decide how they will present information.
Recently I was talking to a mom who was not religious but who had religious parents/inlaws, and she wanted to know how to advise a child to act around religious situations. The mom was confusion belief and behavior. I don't have to believe in all the mysterious juju/glory of New Mexico-style Roman Catholicism in order to behave myself at a midnight mass. I know how to be respectful of other people's experiences and expectations. That's something people should consider around winter holidays and all kinds of religious and cultural beliefs, expectations and behaviors.
The choice is not "lie" or "tell everything you know." The best choices might be in the range of keep it fun and sweet and happy.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
dola dasgupta-banerji
Hi, I feel like most other things, kids will figure out the "truth" about
Santa and Easter Bunny. Why this hurry in demystifying the magical creatures
and figures? Enjoy and have fun. We in India also let kids imagine that
Santa brings them gifts on Chritsmas Eve. In New Delhi there is added
advantage of it being really cold and foggy the
whole festive season. Some of us head to the hills not far from Delhi in
the Himalayas to even catch snow!
Let them figure out in their own time the truth about elves, fairies,
centaurs, dragons and the world of Tolkien and Harry Potter!
Season's greetings!
On Wed, Dec 1, 2010 at 8:32 PM, Adam Dealan-de <
adam@...> wrote:
Santa and Easter Bunny. Why this hurry in demystifying the magical creatures
and figures? Enjoy and have fun. We in India also let kids imagine that
Santa brings them gifts on Chritsmas Eve. In New Delhi there is added
advantage of it being really cold and foggy the
whole festive season. Some of us head to the hills not far from Delhi in
the Himalayas to even catch snow!
Let them figure out in their own time the truth about elves, fairies,
centaurs, dragons and the world of Tolkien and Harry Potter!
Season's greetings!
On Wed, Dec 1, 2010 at 8:32 PM, Adam Dealan-de <
adam@...> wrote:
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> Hi all,
>
> Still slowly getting my feet wet with unschooling. Still have hang ups
> on sugar and video/internet watching with my 4 and 2 year old. But we
> are seriously loving watching old Voyager epiisodes of star trek. I
> read the books at bedtime to my 4 year old. Anyway, up until now my
> wife and I have been engaging in the whole santa thing. And I am ready
> to give that up and share with her the truth. I am trying to find the
> best way but realize that some damage to trust and a sense of magic in
> the world might be lost. Anyone go through this? Any first hand
> experience on what worked and what didn't? Thanks Sandra for the posts
> in the past on sugar and videos...still reading through. Hope to get
> myself on board fully.
>
> Adam
>
>
madelinerains
You have already gotten so much information but this was a big one for my younger son so I'm adding even more. Here is a link to the story of the day I told Jesse, at seven. http://barn-raising.blogspot.com/2008/02/jesses-broken-heart.html He is glad now that I told him then and not later. I still think I should have waited. I don't know. It's a tough one.
Sarah
My parents never did the Santa thing with me as a child, I was aware of him of course as a story and I used to do things like write letters to him and leave out mince pies sometimes... But I never felt it was less than magical for my patents to sneak in and leave a stocking full of presents in my room while I slept. I much preferred that to the idea of a stranger sneaking in (but that won't be true of all children of course).
For me, because of my own childhood, it would have felt very odd to talk about Santa as more real than (say) the Power Rangers or any of the other characters who fill our days... And I have seen parents go too far (or what seems to me too far) by outright lying to children who are old enough to be asking for the truth.
But, having said that, I think it comes down more to the parents and what they feel makes Christmas Christmas, as long as they are focussed on their real child rather than trying to promote an abstract idea of 'childhood magic'.
Sarah
For me, because of my own childhood, it would have felt very odd to talk about Santa as more real than (say) the Power Rangers or any of the other characters who fill our days... And I have seen parents go too far (or what seems to me too far) by outright lying to children who are old enough to be asking for the truth.
But, having said that, I think it comes down more to the parents and what they feel makes Christmas Christmas, as long as they are focussed on their real child rather than trying to promote an abstract idea of 'childhood magic'.
Sarah
--- In [email protected], "plaidpanties666" <plaidpanties666@...> wrote:
>
> We've never done the Santa thing, here - when Mo was younger, and Clifford the big red dog was her imaginary friend, I likened Santa to Clifford. And yet in the past Mo has said she "believed" in Santa (it hasn't come up yet, this year... she's 9). I'm not sure what she means by that or that *she's* sure what she means by it, but its not really a big deal. There's no lack of mystery and wonder in Mo's childhood, year 'round - Santa doesn't seem to add or detract from that.
>
> ---Meredith
>
peacefuldreamers
Perfect timing for this post --the girls will wake any moment to the first big snowfall of the season and they will be mystified!
I am thankful for mythology and all of the history of mystical things -we all believe in different things at different times of our lives and that is what we focus on around here.
And for us Santa and many of the other celebrations/characters around this season represent a spirit of giving and that is what we celebrate around here --from Saint Nicholas on December 6th to Santa Lucia on the 13th to Solstice, etc, it goes on an on. This is a special time for us to reinforce our trust that although the snow is covering up our beautiful gardens and woods --we need to believe that the sun and the warmth will return and with that the spring and our flowers will come back!
I am almost 40 year old, I still believe deeply in the spirit of Santa and I have never seen him, but I believe in the spirit he brings out in so many people --his spirit lives in me as it did in my parent and my grandparents and in my daughters --who have their own sweet beliefs in this season!
I love learning what each of you do --ahh the magic of unschooling!
Best,
Amy
www.booksforwallsproject.org
I am thankful for mythology and all of the history of mystical things -we all believe in different things at different times of our lives and that is what we focus on around here.
And for us Santa and many of the other celebrations/characters around this season represent a spirit of giving and that is what we celebrate around here --from Saint Nicholas on December 6th to Santa Lucia on the 13th to Solstice, etc, it goes on an on. This is a special time for us to reinforce our trust that although the snow is covering up our beautiful gardens and woods --we need to believe that the sun and the warmth will return and with that the spring and our flowers will come back!
I am almost 40 year old, I still believe deeply in the spirit of Santa and I have never seen him, but I believe in the spirit he brings out in so many people --his spirit lives in me as it did in my parent and my grandparents and in my daughters --who have their own sweet beliefs in this season!
I love learning what each of you do --ahh the magic of unschooling!
Best,
Amy
www.booksforwallsproject.org
--- In [email protected], dola dasgupta-banerji <doladg@...> wrote:
>
> Hi, I feel like most other things, kids will figure out the "truth" about
> Santa and Easter Bunny. Why this hurry in demystifying the magical creatures
> and figures? Enjoy and have fun. We in India also let kids imagine that
> Santa brings them gifts on Chritsmas Eve. In New Delhi there is added
> advantage of it being really cold and foggy the
> whole festive season. Some of us head to the hills not far from Delhi in
> the Himalayas to even catch snow!
>
> Let them figure out in their own time the truth about elves, fairies,
> centaurs, dragons and the world of Tolkien and Harry Potter!
>
> Season's greetings!
>
>
alma
My extremely literal minded (usually) 8 year old loves Christmas, but for years has had doubts about Santa. I have not lied to him and yet he has hung on to it, never actually asking outright. He always tracks Santa's progress here - http://www.noradsanta.org/en/index.html - and always asks how it's possible but in such a way that makes it clear he's speculating rather than asking for the truth. This year he told my mum that he's going to find out by looking to see if DH and I are cranky on Christmas Day so he can know if we got up in the night (he goes to bed with us so knows we don't do it then). My mum again probed to see if he wanted to know the truth (she and I have discussed our approach) but he was quite clear in the conversation that he didn't. I think for him he does really know but is enjoying the thrill of the chase, or the conversational dance around all this. In general he doesn't have a vivid fantasy life and I think this is something where he enjoys the larger than life side of it.
I do not believe this is incompatible with unschooling.
Alison
DS(8) and DS(5)
I do not believe this is incompatible with unschooling.
Alison
DS(8) and DS(5)
--- In [email protected], Adam Dealan-de <adam@...> wrote:
>
> Hi all,
>
> Still slowly getting my feet wet with unschooling. Still have hang ups
> on sugar and video/internet watching with my 4 and 2 year old. But we
> are seriously loving watching old Voyager epiisodes of star trek. I
> read the books at bedtime to my 4 year old. Anyway, up until now my
> wife and I have been engaging in the whole santa thing. And I am ready
> to give that up and share with her the truth. I am trying to find the
> best way but realize that some damage to trust and a sense of magic in
> the world might be lost. Anyone go through this? Any first hand
> experience on what worked and what didn't? Thanks Sandra for the posts
> in the past on sugar and videos...still reading through. Hope to get
> myself on board fully.
>
> Adam
>
peacefuldreamers
One more thought:
There is a History Channel Christmas Unwrapped: The History of Christmas available on Netflix --has anyone seen it?
Amy
www.booksforwallsproject.org
There is a History Channel Christmas Unwrapped: The History of Christmas available on Netflix --has anyone seen it?
Amy
www.booksforwallsproject.org
diana jenner
On Thu, Dec 2, 2010 at 5:57 AM, peacefuldreamers <
the.mom@...> wrote:
Xmas time? They're FILLED with Santa's Spirit and have to show everyone!
When you take away the crazy control-your-behavior politics, the generosity
represented by the Santa Ideal is really special. I hold that generosity as
a sacred part of the Holidays.
Maybe just a change in vocabulary will ease the inevitable future
conversation. I've taken care to use "Given in the Spirit of Santa" with
Santa gifts, as use "The Spirit of Easter's Bunny" for that Holiday :D
For me, this approach makes sense of an illusion in the name of generosity.
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.wordpress.com
hannahsashes.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
the.mom@...> wrote:
> And for us Santa and many of the other celebrations/characters aroundWe have always celebrated the Spirit of Santa :) The folks dressed up at
> this season represent a spirit of giving and that is what we celebrate
> around here --from Saint Nicholas on December 6th to Santa Lucia on the 13th
> to Solstice, etc, it goes on an on. This is a special time for us to
> reinforce our trust that although the snow is covering up our beautiful
> gardens and woods --we need to believe that the sun and the warmth will
> return and with that the spring and our flowers will come back!
>
>
> I am almost 40 year old, I still believe deeply in the spirit of Santa and
> I have never seen him, but I believe in the spirit he brings out in so many
> people --his spirit lives in me as it did in my parent and my grandparents
> and in my daughters --who have their own sweet beliefs in this season!
>
> _,___
Xmas time? They're FILLED with Santa's Spirit and have to show everyone!
When you take away the crazy control-your-behavior politics, the generosity
represented by the Santa Ideal is really special. I hold that generosity as
a sacred part of the Holidays.
Maybe just a change in vocabulary will ease the inevitable future
conversation. I've taken care to use "Given in the Spirit of Santa" with
Santa gifts, as use "The Spirit of Easter's Bunny" for that Holiday :D
For me, this approach makes sense of an illusion in the name of generosity.
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.wordpress.com
hannahsashes.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
thecugals
--- In [email protected], Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
--If my kids asked really direct and pointed questions, I'd
say, "Do you want just the facts or the fun playing-pretend version?"--
Last year, my then-8-year-old daughter asked me while we were in the car alone, "Mom, do you believe in Santa Claus?" I really wasn't sure what answer she was hoping for, and I didn't want to lie OR potentially spoil all her fun. Luckily we watch a lot of Christmas videos each year. So I just snorted and said, "No, of course not!" When she looked surprised and a little disappointed I said, "As you know from all the movies we watch, Santa Claus is just really for kids. The parents never actually believe." Then she pointed out that in those movies there really is a Santa Claus, and made some arguements why Dad couldn't be the one putting presents under the tree. When I finally said, "I guess I can see your point..." she said "Yay!"
Beth
Bun
--- In [email protected], Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
Over time though I began questioning how it felt to me to continue doing this without explaining it all honestly. After our second son was born, I told my dh that I didn't feel comfortable keeping the truth from our kids. Although dh thought it would have been fine to keep going along with the kids still believing in Santa, he went along with what I wished and I did begin talking honestly with them about Santa. Wish I recalled if our first child asked about whether Santa was real or if I brought it up...I just can't remember. We still took family pics with Santa for the fun of it, sent out some cards, decorated, cut down our own tree at a local tree farm, went on drives to see the most decorated houses, exchanged gifts, put out surprise gifts for the kids, went to parades, and stuffed the stockings and did other things that were fun for and lightings, this time of year. It was still fun and I felt better about being honest!
Our third child was VERY uncomfortable with strangers, heck, even people we knew. There was no way she'd even want to sit with a big fellow in a red suit for a picture whether she knew him to be real or not. But it was okay if I held her in a family picture.
Somehow my husband and her got this thing going where he'd tell her that HE was Santa Claus - that was his excuse for putting on weight! And when we were at a zoo, he'd say that he was checking in on his reindeer. She'd ask me if it was Really true and I'd be honest and say that it was not true and that Daddy is just joking. He admits he is joking if either of us ask him to be honest, but I think he prefers to be vague. I am more serious and dh is more of a joker...the ying and the yang...
Laurie
>> That said - I would treat the whole thing as a big happy imaginative pretend game. I wouldn't sit a 4 yo down and tell her anything - but >just treat it as a fun pretend thing. I wouldn't lie, though, at all. >If > they asked, "Who really brings the presents on Christmas?" I might >say, > "Well, how about let's just say Santa," but I'd do it with a >smile and > maybe a wink. If my kids asked really direct and pointed >questions, I'd > say, "Do you want just the facts or the fun playing->pretend version?"When my first daughter was born and for her first four xmas's we put out presents and she thought Santa put them out. We left sparkles and oats outside so the reindeer could find our house (she made this mixture at a craft time) and a note and cookies and hot tea for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. She was happy and seemed to enjoy the experiences.
Over time though I began questioning how it felt to me to continue doing this without explaining it all honestly. After our second son was born, I told my dh that I didn't feel comfortable keeping the truth from our kids. Although dh thought it would have been fine to keep going along with the kids still believing in Santa, he went along with what I wished and I did begin talking honestly with them about Santa. Wish I recalled if our first child asked about whether Santa was real or if I brought it up...I just can't remember. We still took family pics with Santa for the fun of it, sent out some cards, decorated, cut down our own tree at a local tree farm, went on drives to see the most decorated houses, exchanged gifts, put out surprise gifts for the kids, went to parades, and stuffed the stockings and did other things that were fun for and lightings, this time of year. It was still fun and I felt better about being honest!
Our third child was VERY uncomfortable with strangers, heck, even people we knew. There was no way she'd even want to sit with a big fellow in a red suit for a picture whether she knew him to be real or not. But it was okay if I held her in a family picture.
Somehow my husband and her got this thing going where he'd tell her that HE was Santa Claus - that was his excuse for putting on weight! And when we were at a zoo, he'd say that he was checking in on his reindeer. She'd ask me if it was Really true and I'd be honest and say that it was not true and that Daddy is just joking. He admits he is joking if either of us ask him to be honest, but I think he prefers to be vague. I am more serious and dh is more of a joker...the ying and the yang...
Laurie
Elisa
My 8yr old dd told me that Santa was a Myth at 4yrs old I was blown away we were in the car driving and she just announces that Santa is a Myth and she knows the real Santa is me so I was honest with her as I must admit I always hated keeping it from her anyway but she still loves Chrsitmas she like to have more say in her presents even to the point of coming shopping with me as she says why should I have all the fun going shopping...lol but she also loves unwrapping her gifts on Christmas morning she says it's just fun even if she knows what she is getting and I always have a couple of surprises anyway.
Elisa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Elisa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Natalie Bullock
This is a timely topic for me, because my 9yo daughter recently (~6 weeks
ago) lost a tooth and left it - and a note - for the Tooth Fairy. In the
note, my daughter asked the TF to please bring her a pair of wings...and
when my daughter did not receive the wings the next morning, she was
devastated. I pointed out that such a thing just is not possible - that if
it were, we'd likely see people flying around quite often, and surely wings
could be bought in stores (or at least on amazon!). Although she understood
the logic, it still did not assuage the hurt she felt that she was not going
to receive wings and that...there was, apparently, no TF. Why she thought
that the TF could bring her wings, I don't know, but from there, it lead to
her asking about whether there was really a Santa and an Easter Bunny. And
leprechauns. I am an imperfect parent - I admitted that they all had
parental assistance, except for the leprechauns, because there was just no
way I'd willingly destroy my house like that each St. Patty's Day. I shared
with her the famed editorial letter from years ago, "Yes, Virginia, there is
a Santa Claus" which did nothing but make her even sadder. I shared
something else with her about the spirit of Christmas as well as the story
of Saint Nicholas, and again, none of helped to ease her heartache...but
mostly, it was that she couldn't get wings.
The thing is, she's a very sensitive little girl - very artistic, with an
old soul - she worries about the bad things that happen in the world, about
the future which might not be good, and while discussing with my friend, we
concluded that my daughter really *needs* something that helps her remember
there is still magic and purpose and joy in the world. I asked her why she
wanted wings, and she said that she wanted to "get away from it all" and
that she feels stressed out about worrying about her future and about money
(even though there is no reason for her to worry about money, but her
friend's family has had a rather rough go of things) and things like that.
Would it all have been better if she hadn't believed all along? Well,
that's the thing - at ages 4 and 5, she was resolute in her conviction that
Santa wasn't real, even though we fully played up the excitement. And now,
although she *knows* the truth, she still asks me, "Are you SURE there isn't
a real Santa?" And my answer for her now is that, without reservation, I
believe in him, even if he isn't personally the one delivering the gifts. I
am fairly certain that she *knows* the answer, but based on how and when she
asks, I think she needs to hear that I believe.
When I was 4, my family lived on a military base in Hawaii and, on Christmas
Eve, there flew over the residential area of the base a sleigh of sorts,
with jingling bells and a loud "Ho, ho, ho!" and, from what I remember, a
red light out in front. Now, it *could* have been a rather elaborately
decked out helicopter...but nearly 40 years later, I'd just rather not think
about it like that. It is one of my earliest memories, and one of the most
exciting and magical things I've remembered from that time. And if the
military could do then what NORAD does now, tracking Santa, then there's a
whole lot of something that's just wonderful about the spirit of the season.
Natalie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ago) lost a tooth and left it - and a note - for the Tooth Fairy. In the
note, my daughter asked the TF to please bring her a pair of wings...and
when my daughter did not receive the wings the next morning, she was
devastated. I pointed out that such a thing just is not possible - that if
it were, we'd likely see people flying around quite often, and surely wings
could be bought in stores (or at least on amazon!). Although she understood
the logic, it still did not assuage the hurt she felt that she was not going
to receive wings and that...there was, apparently, no TF. Why she thought
that the TF could bring her wings, I don't know, but from there, it lead to
her asking about whether there was really a Santa and an Easter Bunny. And
leprechauns. I am an imperfect parent - I admitted that they all had
parental assistance, except for the leprechauns, because there was just no
way I'd willingly destroy my house like that each St. Patty's Day. I shared
with her the famed editorial letter from years ago, "Yes, Virginia, there is
a Santa Claus" which did nothing but make her even sadder. I shared
something else with her about the spirit of Christmas as well as the story
of Saint Nicholas, and again, none of helped to ease her heartache...but
mostly, it was that she couldn't get wings.
The thing is, she's a very sensitive little girl - very artistic, with an
old soul - she worries about the bad things that happen in the world, about
the future which might not be good, and while discussing with my friend, we
concluded that my daughter really *needs* something that helps her remember
there is still magic and purpose and joy in the world. I asked her why she
wanted wings, and she said that she wanted to "get away from it all" and
that she feels stressed out about worrying about her future and about money
(even though there is no reason for her to worry about money, but her
friend's family has had a rather rough go of things) and things like that.
Would it all have been better if she hadn't believed all along? Well,
that's the thing - at ages 4 and 5, she was resolute in her conviction that
Santa wasn't real, even though we fully played up the excitement. And now,
although she *knows* the truth, she still asks me, "Are you SURE there isn't
a real Santa?" And my answer for her now is that, without reservation, I
believe in him, even if he isn't personally the one delivering the gifts. I
am fairly certain that she *knows* the answer, but based on how and when she
asks, I think she needs to hear that I believe.
When I was 4, my family lived on a military base in Hawaii and, on Christmas
Eve, there flew over the residential area of the base a sleigh of sorts,
with jingling bells and a loud "Ho, ho, ho!" and, from what I remember, a
red light out in front. Now, it *could* have been a rather elaborately
decked out helicopter...but nearly 40 years later, I'd just rather not think
about it like that. It is one of my earliest memories, and one of the most
exciting and magical things I've remembered from that time. And if the
military could do then what NORAD does now, tracking Santa, then there's a
whole lot of something that's just wonderful about the spirit of the season.
Natalie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
k
No way... I have wings. You can buy them! :)
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Stephanie LaBarge
-=-We "did Santa" but we didn't lie.
I would tell the kids to put stockings up, because I always did when I was a
kid, and in the morning there were gifts.-=-
We did a similar thing. We never really played up the Santa thing but when my
oldest was 4 or 5 she asked me if Santa was real and I asked her what she
thought. She said "no, I don't think so, but I still like thinking that he is!"
So we still "play" with Santa and leave out cookies and carrots for the
reindeer (and sometimes the kids will ask us how they were ;-) )
Steph
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I would tell the kids to put stockings up, because I always did when I was a
kid, and in the morning there were gifts.-=-
We did a similar thing. We never really played up the Santa thing but when my
oldest was 4 or 5 she asked me if Santa was real and I asked her what she
thought. She said "no, I don't think so, but I still like thinking that he is!"
So we still "play" with Santa and leave out cookies and carrots for the
reindeer (and sometimes the kids will ask us how they were ;-) )
Steph
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
shirarocklin
We're Jewish, so no Santa Claus issues have arisen here (although Christmas trees are being very noticed this year). But, we've encountered a similar incident with the tooth fairy. Temima, 4 years old, had a tooth pulled out, and they gave her a little box to put the tooth in and talked up the tooth fairy. So I played along with it... and later in the day she began questioning me about the tooth fairy and what was really going to happen and all, and so I said all the make-believe things... but with that tone of voice, like playfully, wink wink, etc. And she still sort of wasn't sure... but she might have been happy with that... but later on she asked me if really I was going to leave the money under her pillow, and I sort of leaned in and whispered secretively into her ear that, yes, I was the tooth fairy. She loved that. But she still wasn't sure, and asked me a few more times. I think we fairly well established how fun it is to pretend, and that its okay to believe, and its also okay to explore doubts.
What I liked about what I did, and it feel very unschoolish to me, was leaving the way open for her to believe at each 'level' of questioning, letting it just end there, but also giving more information as she asked for it. It seemed to satisfy her.
And now we're starting to encounter a bit more questions about anatomy, babies, what pads are for, etc... and its going the same route, snippets of information, just enough to satisfy her curiosity, and then as soon as there is an interruption of some sort (like the baby!) she lets it go for a while.
Shira
What I liked about what I did, and it feel very unschoolish to me, was leaving the way open for her to believe at each 'level' of questioning, letting it just end there, but also giving more information as she asked for it. It seemed to satisfy her.
And now we're starting to encounter a bit more questions about anatomy, babies, what pads are for, etc... and its going the same route, snippets of information, just enough to satisfy her curiosity, and then as soon as there is an interruption of some sort (like the baby!) she lets it go for a while.
Shira
JustSayin
I'm with Sandra on the variations of "in-between". The only trouble I've have ever had about Santa is feeling like I'm lying to my kids. So to remedy that, I just don't go crazy and make up all these stories and make them sit on "his" lap at the mall.
I just sort of let it be. We always had "Santa" growing up, and I remember it as being fun. I don't remember when I figured out he wasn't real, but even when I did we still had fun with it.
So this year my youngest (6 y/o, very matter of fact type, who asks a million direct questions about everything) said "Taylor (a friend of both my boys) told us Santa wasn't real, that it's just your parents". And I said, "what do you think?" and he sort of told me that he thought it was us. I just smiled and honestly I can't remember exactly what else I said, but it wasn't "oh yes, he's real" and it wasn't "Taylor's right, it's us".
A day or so later my son said "you know, I think Santa is real". And I (a little surprised based on what he had said previously) said "why do you say that?"
And he said "Because you guys could never afford all the stuff we get!"
Let the magic continue as long as it's fun. You don't have to force it and "lie", but you don't have to force the "truth" either.
--Melissa (FL)
I just sort of let it be. We always had "Santa" growing up, and I remember it as being fun. I don't remember when I figured out he wasn't real, but even when I did we still had fun with it.
So this year my youngest (6 y/o, very matter of fact type, who asks a million direct questions about everything) said "Taylor (a friend of both my boys) told us Santa wasn't real, that it's just your parents". And I said, "what do you think?" and he sort of told me that he thought it was us. I just smiled and honestly I can't remember exactly what else I said, but it wasn't "oh yes, he's real" and it wasn't "Taylor's right, it's us".
A day or so later my son said "you know, I think Santa is real". And I (a little surprised based on what he had said previously) said "why do you say that?"
And he said "Because you guys could never afford all the stuff we get!"
Let the magic continue as long as it's fun. You don't have to force it and "lie", but you don't have to force the "truth" either.
--Melissa (FL)
--- In [email protected], Adam Dealan-de <adam@...> wrote:
>
> Hi all,
>
> Still slowly getting my feet wet with unschooling. Still have hang ups
> on sugar and video/internet watching with my 4 and 2 year old. But we
> are seriously loving watching old Voyager epiisodes of star trek. I
> read the books at bedtime to my 4 year old. Anyway, up until now my
> wife and I have been engaging in the whole santa thing. And I am ready
> to give that up and share with her the truth. I am trying to find the
> best way but realize that some damage to trust and a sense of magic in
> the world might be lost. Anyone go through this? Any first hand
> experience on what worked and what didn't? Thanks Sandra for the posts
> in the past on sugar and videos...still reading through. Hope to get
> myself on board fully.
>
> Adam
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-The only trouble I've have ever had about Santa is feeling like I'm lying to my kids. So to remedy that, I just don't go crazy and make up all these stories and make them sit on "his" lap at the mall. -=-
When I was four or five, my mom took me to a store Santa (department store; pre-mall days, 1950's). A few stores down, there was another one. Different one. And I had already mentioned to my mom that the first guy's beard wasn't real. She quite calmly said that Santa couldn't really sit in every store, and that these guys were helpers, who got the information about what the kids wanted for Christmas. We talked about younger kids who didn't know about fake beards thinking it was the real Santa and feeling good about that.
I had told him I wanted a two-story dollhouse, and that's what I got. What I didn't realize for MANY years, even after I knew Santa was a big hoax (as I thought right at first, when I found out) was that the parents were hearing the request, and that was the good part.
So even after I knew the store Santa's were just guys dressed up like Santa, I still thought for another few years that there was an original real Santa somewhere, busy getting ready for Christmas.
I don't think it's a hoax anymore, though. It's like a play, a ceremonial bit of fun. Blowing out candles and making a wish isn't a lie. It's just a thing people have done for a long time.
I have a link that's not about Santa, but about ceremony and ancient belief, and cakes: http://sandradodd.com/cake
That's one of my favorite pages, and has a good story about my kids when they were little, but it's not "about unschooling" in most people's minds. (In mine it's about learning and collecting related ideas, so... maybe.)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
When I was four or five, my mom took me to a store Santa (department store; pre-mall days, 1950's). A few stores down, there was another one. Different one. And I had already mentioned to my mom that the first guy's beard wasn't real. She quite calmly said that Santa couldn't really sit in every store, and that these guys were helpers, who got the information about what the kids wanted for Christmas. We talked about younger kids who didn't know about fake beards thinking it was the real Santa and feeling good about that.
I had told him I wanted a two-story dollhouse, and that's what I got. What I didn't realize for MANY years, even after I knew Santa was a big hoax (as I thought right at first, when I found out) was that the parents were hearing the request, and that was the good part.
So even after I knew the store Santa's were just guys dressed up like Santa, I still thought for another few years that there was an original real Santa somewhere, busy getting ready for Christmas.
I don't think it's a hoax anymore, though. It's like a play, a ceremonial bit of fun. Blowing out candles and making a wish isn't a lie. It's just a thing people have done for a long time.
I have a link that's not about Santa, but about ceremony and ancient belief, and cakes: http://sandradodd.com/cake
That's one of my favorite pages, and has a good story about my kids when they were little, but it's not "about unschooling" in most people's minds. (In mine it's about learning and collecting related ideas, so... maybe.)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
toobeets
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
I'm wondering how that would be considered dangerous thinking? (In an honest, genuinely curious kind of way - not defensive at all. :-)
Just to clarify, this happened immediately after the boy told her and she was very upset. She was saying she didn't want to hear that yet, but was asking me if it was true. So, I was trying to feel out what she wanted at that moment so I could give that to her.
She said she wanted to believe Santa did come to her house and give her presents under the tree, she is 11 now, and continued to believe in Santa as she had for two more Christmases.
Then she decided it would be fun to go out on Black Friday and get to BE Santa for the little kids. So, we've been having fun with that. This year, she even picked out her own present and wants to wait for Christmas morning to open it. She still plays Santa with her little brothers and sisters, and believes in the spirit of Santa.
Thanks!
Jill
>Hmmm...
> -=-I have said to my then 7 year old, after a neighbor kid told her Santa didn't exist, "do you want me to tell you what other people believe to be true, or what you want to believe?-=-
>
> As advice to others, I think this is dangerous thinking.
> I can't change the fact that that's what you said to your child. :-)
> Perhaps, though, I could caution others about making statements about what other people believe to be true (there's quite a range of belief and presentation, when it comes to Santa Claus), and ESPECIALLY against assuming one knows what a child wants to believe.
I'm wondering how that would be considered dangerous thinking? (In an honest, genuinely curious kind of way - not defensive at all. :-)
Just to clarify, this happened immediately after the boy told her and she was very upset. She was saying she didn't want to hear that yet, but was asking me if it was true. So, I was trying to feel out what she wanted at that moment so I could give that to her.
She said she wanted to believe Santa did come to her house and give her presents under the tree, she is 11 now, and continued to believe in Santa as she had for two more Christmases.
Then she decided it would be fun to go out on Black Friday and get to BE Santa for the little kids. So, we've been having fun with that. This year, she even picked out her own present and wants to wait for Christmas morning to open it. She still plays Santa with her little brothers and sisters, and believes in the spirit of Santa.
Thanks!
Jill