3 year old grabbing from 1 year old sibling
gkcollins123
I would deeply appreciate your input! I have 3 daughters, ages 6, 3, and 1. I'm having a tough time knowing what to do with sibling disputes. I've read all of the unschooling books I can get my hands on, and am still stumped. My 3 year old grabs toys from my one year old. Anything the 1 year old picks up, my 3 year old will scream, say NO! You can't have that! and take the oject from her. If I try to reason with the 3 year old by empathizing, etc., she falls out in a full-blown fit, screaming and saying NO, NO, she can't have that. This usually occurs about three times a day. The old me (before my radical unschooling journey) would have put the 3 year old in her room (time out) and given the toy back to the baby. I find myself just completely stumped... I'm out of ideas. The only thing I seem to be able to do is let the 3 year old have her way, and remove the baby from the situation while distracting her something else. Since she's so young, I just pick her up, give her lots of hugs, and find a new toy for her. (The 1 year old) It just doesn't feel right. I feel so horrible for the baby, and don't know how to deal with this.
Please help!
Thanks!
Please help!
Thanks!
ajcm1207
When we were having a similar situation, we created a play space my DS (the elder) could get to that DD (the baby) couldn't. (We used a small play yard that DS could jump in and out of.) It was important to DS to have an area that DD couldn't access so that he could build, do a puzzle, draw without concern that she would "mess things up." Once we did this, the tension between them lessened markedly, and the baby really didn't seem to mind at all. Both kids were happier and when they played together, it was much more gentle.
andrea in NY
andrea in NY
--- In [email protected], "gkcollins123" <gkcollins123@...> wrote:
>
> I would deeply appreciate your input! I have 3 daughters, ages 6, 3, and 1. I'm having a tough time knowing what to do with sibling disputes. I've read all of the unschooling books I can get my hands on, and am still stumped. My 3 year old grabs toys from my one year old. Anything the 1 year old picks up, my 3 year old will scream, say NO! You can't have that! and take the oject from her. If I try to reason with the 3 year old by empathizing, etc., she falls out in a full-blown fit, screaming and saying NO, NO, she can't have that. This usually occurs about three times a day. The old me (before my radical unschooling journey) would have put the 3 year old in her room (time out) and given the toy back to the baby. I find myself just completely stumped... I'm out of ideas. The only thing I seem to be able to do is let the 3 year old have her way, and remove the baby from the situation while distracting her something else. Since she's so young, I just pick her up, give her lots of hugs, and find a new toy for her. (The 1 year old) It just doesn't feel right. I feel so horrible for the baby, and don't know how to deal with this.
> Please help!
> Thanks!
>
Jenny Cyphers
***The only thing I seem to be able to do is let the 3 year old have her way, and remove the baby from the situation while distracting her something else. Since she's so young, I just pick her up, give her lots of hugs, and find a new toy for her. (The 1 year old) It just doesn't feel right. I feel so horrible for the baby, and don't know how to deal with this. ***
My first thought is that you could diffuse the situation by turning it into a game. Let the 3 yr old grab the toy, hand a new toy to the one year old and just keep doing that. Soon the 3 yr old will have a huge pile of toys. If she doesn't keep them in her lap, you could start grabbing from her discarded pile to give back to the 1 yr old. A big recycled toy pile.
One time my sister in law was seperating things into piles and my neice snuck up behind her and while she was grabbing from one pile, she'd grab something from the other pile and sneak it back into the first pile. It was hilarious and it took my sister in law a while before she realized what was going on.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My first thought is that you could diffuse the situation by turning it into a game. Let the 3 yr old grab the toy, hand a new toy to the one year old and just keep doing that. Soon the 3 yr old will have a huge pile of toys. If she doesn't keep them in her lap, you could start grabbing from her discarded pile to give back to the 1 yr old. A big recycled toy pile.
One time my sister in law was seperating things into piles and my neice snuck up behind her and while she was grabbing from one pile, she'd grab something from the other pile and sneak it back into the first pile. It was hilarious and it took my sister in law a while before she realized what was going on.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
weiss_catherine
Hi there,
Here's the only thing that worked for me and my family. My son is now 5 and daughter 4.....17 months apart. You're at the very beginning of a pattern you can radically shift now. I read a million unschool-y books too and this is the only thing that has truly helped.
Have you read anything by Naomi Aldort yet? Reading her advice has propelled me into being the unconditionally loving Mom I am today. Here's several of her online articles to get you started.
http://www.naomialdort.com/discussion.html
Page down until you see "Aggression" and read that.
Also on that page all the way down at the bottom is "Excerpts from Naomi's Newsletter". Once you're there, page down and click on "Sibling Hitting (October 2005)" and "When Children Fight (September 2006)"
You're on an awesome path of growth for yourself and your whole family!
Enjoy!
Catherine in Atlanta
Here's the only thing that worked for me and my family. My son is now 5 and daughter 4.....17 months apart. You're at the very beginning of a pattern you can radically shift now. I read a million unschool-y books too and this is the only thing that has truly helped.
Have you read anything by Naomi Aldort yet? Reading her advice has propelled me into being the unconditionally loving Mom I am today. Here's several of her online articles to get you started.
http://www.naomialdort.com/discussion.html
Page down until you see "Aggression" and read that.
Also on that page all the way down at the bottom is "Excerpts from Naomi's Newsletter". Once you're there, page down and click on "Sibling Hitting (October 2005)" and "When Children Fight (September 2006)"
You're on an awesome path of growth for yourself and your whole family!
Enjoy!
Catherine in Atlanta
--- In [email protected], "gkcollins123" <gkcollins123@...> wrote:
>
> I would deeply appreciate your input! I have 3 daughters, ages 6, 3, and 1. I'm having a tough time knowing what to do with sibling disputes. I've read all of the unschooling books I can get my hands on, and am still stumped. My 3 year old grabs toys from my one year old. Anything the 1 year old picks up, my 3 year old will scream, say NO! You can't have that! and take the oject from her. If I try to reason with the 3 year old by empathizing, etc., she falls out in a full-blown fit, screaming and saying NO, NO, she can't have that. This usually occurs about three times a day. The old me (before my radical unschooling journey) would have put the 3 year old in her room (time out) and given the toy back to the baby. I find myself just completely stumped... I'm out of ideas. The only thing I seem to be able to do is let the 3 year old have her way, and remove the baby from the situation while distracting her something else. Since she's so young, I just pick her up, give her lots of hugs, and find a new toy for her. (The 1 year old) It just doesn't feel right. I feel so horrible for the baby, and don't know how to deal with this.
> Please help!
> Thanks!
>