memismommy

Our last few weeks have been a seemingly ceaseless succession of new and deeper ways of "getting it". The changes have been swirling through our lives so fast, it's hard to catch them, define them...it's dizzying, but in a really, really wonderful way - like first love!

One of the sticking points for me was to come to an understanding about certain relationships in my life that seem to drain far more energy than they supply...I've known for quite a while that things would need to be different in order for me to fully focus on the amazingly wondrous relationships that fill our home.

It's been coming, in bits and pieces and snippets, for months now, and, over the last two or three weeks, all those pieces began to merge, forming a collage I could make out more and more clearly...

The result is here, for those who are interested...

http://memismommy.blogspot.com/2009/10/ebb-and-flow.html

It seems so simple, now that I've finally shifted my perceptions. Why was it so hard before, to get to this place?

Shan

"The Unfettered Life"
www.memismommy.blogspot.com

Sandra Dodd

-=-It seems so simple, now that I've finally shifted my perceptions. -=-

Be careful about "finally." Maybe it seems more simple now that
you've begun to shift your perceptions.

Sandra




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Pam Sorooshian

> -=-It seems so simple, now that I've finally shifted my perceptions. -=-
>

Or -- now that you've made "a" shift in perception.

Won't be the last, I bet.

-pam

memismommy

--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-It seems so simple, now that I've finally shifted my perceptions. -=-
>
> Be careful about "finally." Maybe it seems more simple now that
> you've begun to shift your perceptions.
>
> Sandra
>

A very good point....I was thinking the relief of being free of all the stress I'd been putting myself through. But there is a lot more shifting to do. I can see it....and am not going to get complacent, here....

Thanks for pointing it out!

shan
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

kim meltzer

Hi,

I just wanted to thank Sandra Dodd who makes this group possible and who
gives so much of herself to all of us who are on this road of discovery and
possibly enlightenment.

I was feeling really really tense and angry with my three-year-old while we
were at my in-laws house Saturday night because he would not go to bed. I
was nervous because of all these different reasons--what will they think if
he is up running around while they're wanting everything to be relaxed and
child-free etc, etc and all these other parenting-based ( or what will they
think of me ) worries running through my head. Then I just thought, hmm. I
wonder what Sandra Dodd would do....? I knew I was stressing out waay too
much and getting angry with him, whom I love so much, for no good reason. I
apologized to him and gave him a long cuddle and then we went back upstairs.
His grandfather happened to be in this unusally great mood and read him five
stories.

My son made a nest for himself on the couch and actually just fell asleep to
the sound of all of us talking.

It was a wonderful success, and I felt bad for stressing in the first
place. I was worried about all these different things, but it ended up not
being like that at all.

I hope this doesn't sound weird, but it was really nice to have some
clear-thinking in the midst of my anger, and I feel like this list really
helps if you read it everyday because it keeps these parenting and
unschooling family values at the top of the mental list.

John Holt, Alfie Kohn and Gordon Neufeld have written books that can offer
a revolutionary paradigm shift that can change your entire world view, but
incorporating such a cultural sea-change into your family life can be
confusing, difficult, and isolating. People like Sandra Dodd, Pam
Sorooshian, and Joyce Fetteroll and all the other moms and dads out there
who write here are contributing to a community, albeit virtual (I'd love to
go that conference in New Mexico), but hugely influential.

Thanks, everyone,

Kim
Baltimore


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Sandra Dodd

Thanks, Kim, for the encouragement and kind words.

-=-John Holt, Alfie Kohn and Gordon Neufeld have written books that
can offer
a revolutionary paradigm shift that can change your entire world view,
but
incorporating such a cultural sea-change into your family life can be
confusing, difficult, and isolating.-=-

I love John Holt's writings, but he wasn't a parent and he never
unschooled any kids. Alfie Kohn thinks homeschooling is a bad idea.
I haven't read any Gordon Neufeld.

When I read a book about solar heating, I really want that author to
be living in a solar-heated house. <g> Perhaps I'm unreasonable about
that, but I like reading about unschooling (or hanging out with) those
who have done it better and longer than I have. I was privileged
(LUCKY!!) to have known two unschooling families well before I even
thought about homeschooling. I wasn't planning to homeschool and knew
four homeschooling families, but two were unschoolers, and it was like
the difference between night and day, those families. So that made it
easy for me, and ever since I've been trying to pass on some of that
with words. It can be easier to see it in person, but it's not
always possible, and to chance upon unschooling families in the wild,
as it were, in 1986.... well I totally hit the jackpot there.

-=-I hope this doesn't sound weird, but it was really nice to have some
clear-thinking in the midst of my anger, and I feel like this list
really
helps if you read it everyday because it keeps these parenting and
unschooling family values at the top of the mental list.-=-

I don't think it's weird. It's easy to be sucked into doubt and
negativity in the world. I could walk 200 yards in any direction and
find someone willing to piss and moan with me about how this or that
is stupid and wrong. I've tried to keep this list from being one of
those places.

Sandra



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