yngeharol

Hello --

We have a four year old son that we will not be sending to public or private school for some time, if at all. The only "school" I feel would be appropriate for him is Sudbury (we have one a half hour from us). Even though they accept four year olds, I think that's too young to have a child spend whole days away from their family. Maybe when he's eight or older, if he wants to go, we might send him. Although that possiblity is far in the future, does anyone here have experience with Sudbury (or similar) schools?

Thank you,

Ynge

Sandra Dodd

-=-Maybe when he's eight or older, if he wants to go, we might send
him. Although that possiblity is far in the future, does anyone here
have experience with Sudbury (or similar) schools?=-

The best thing this list can do for you is to give you information and
ideas that might help you make his life so rich he won't want to go to
school when he's eight. Eight isn't very far in the future.

Sandra

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yngeharol

--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-Maybe when he's eight or older, if he wants to go, we might send
> him. Although that possiblity is far in the future, does anyone here
> have experience with Sudbury (or similar) schools?=-
>
> The best thing this list can do for you is to give you information and
> ideas that might help you make his life so rich he won't want to go to
> school when he's eight. Eight isn't very far in the future.
>
> Sandra

That would be fine, of course. But Sudbury isn't "schooly". It's about as open as something can be and still be called a school. He will have about as much autonomy at home as possible, but, for some children there is something good about being away and then triumphantly returning and telling the family about exploits and projects.

And, no, of course eight isn't far in the future if you compare it to the legnth of an average lifetime.

Well, if anyone has any stories (even second hand) about Sudbury, please let me know.

Thanks,

Ynge

Sandra Dodd

-=
That would be fine, of course. But Sudbury isn't "schooly". It's about
as open as something can be and still be called a school.-=-

Most of the people on this list know quite a bit about Sudbury and
other alternative schools.
It IS still called a school; it IS a school.

But still, this list doesn't exist to discuss schools. If you're
planning to just unschool for four years, it's unlikely you'll put as
much thought and change into it as you might if you were going to do
it for thirteen years.

-=-for some children there is something good about being away and then
triumphantly returning and telling the family about exploits and
projects.-=-

True.
But that is some children. For most children, their stories about
having been at a boarding school are not so positive.

Sandra

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carenkh

When we first started unschooling, I immersed myself in information about Sudbury Valley School. It was actually the information on the Sudbury site that helped me know what was possible for kids, and that my son's school wasn't anything like that, so we decided he wouldn't go to school any more. We were unschooling, thinking that the boys would eventually go to an open/democratic school.

I bought many Sudbury books and videos. I planned to start a Sudbury-type school where we live. I totally "got" their philosophy, it really jibed with me.

But, something happened in the time that we were deschooling, and unschooling, and radically unschooling, and I was doing all this reasearch... I became a radical unschooler. I began to heal those parts of me that wanted to be away from my kids, that believed my kids would be better off in someone else's hands. I got my shit together. I stopped believing I needed time away from my boys, to be a better mom. I realized that I have this small window of time to be with them, to be connected with them, and I wanted to take every advantage of that that I could.

I connected with other radical unschoolers and saw, through getting to know their older kids, what was possible with this way of life. I did the growing and inner work necessary to grow up and be my kids' mom, to be here for them in the ways they needed me to be with them, and I wouldn't trade our lives today for anything.

My boys know they have the option to go to school, there is a Sudbury-type school just a couple hours away, they know if they really wanted, I'd do what was necessary to move there so they could attend. But they've grown to love unschooling, too, and being together as a family, and being listened to by and connected with me and their Dads. When they want to get together with friends, so they have time to be away and triumphantly return, they do that - though they most often want me there, too, nearby if not directly with them.

I appreciate what Sudbury Valley offers, and their years of experience allowing kids to BE, but it doesn't come close to unschooling, in a family.

peace,
Caren

yngeharol

> Most of the people on this list know quite a bit about Sudbury and
> other alternative schools.
> It IS still called a school; it IS a school.
>
> But still, this list doesn't exist to discuss schools.

Oh, I think I see. People aren't allowed to discuss something that is a brick-and-mortar type school on this list. It's a forbidden, taboo subject, then?

> If you're
> planning to just unschool for four years, it's unlikely you'll put as
> much thought and change into it as you might if you were going to do
> it for thirteen years.

No hard plans here. I just look to the future, see what some paths might be, and collect information on them. Then continue flowing along. That approach has served me well before.

Please explain what you mean by "change" in ". . . unlikely you'll put as much thought and change into it as you might if. . . ."

I suppose I've been unschooling from his birth, since I see "education" as just a continuum.

> -=-for some children there is something good about being away and then
> triumphantly returning and telling the family about exploits and
> projects.-=-
>
> True.
> But that is some children. For most children, their stories about
> having been at a boarding school are not so positive.

Oh, boarding schools! There are all sorts of horror stories about them. I didn't see anything on the Sudbury Valley website about it being a boarding school. http://www.sudval.org/

Thanks again,

Ynge

Lyla Wolfenstein

with regards to boarding school perhaps the reference is to summerhill?
Lyla

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jfetteroll

--- In [email protected], "yngeharol" <yngeharol@...> wrote:
> Oh, I think I see. People aren't allowed to discuss something that is a brick-and-mortar
> type school on this list. It's a forbidden, taboo subject, then?

Like unschooling, it's more useful to think in terms of principles rather than rules. The price of gasoline and the merits of hardwood over tile are in a way "forbidden" too, but listing all that the list doesn't discuss doesn't help someone figure out what the list is for.

The list is for helping people move toward unschooling. Ideals that help people let go of entrenched school thinking, build relationships, trust their children. Keeping one foot in school, even Sudbury Valley, won't' help people let go.

The list isn't for unschoolers so much as it's for information to help people unschool, if you see the difference. Unschoolers might be interested in organic food, home births, no TV, filk music, selling on ebay, nonviolent communication and so on but those subjects don't help someone understand how to put unschooling principles into practice.

Joyce

clayingaround

I once visited a free school in Delaware and was surprised to find out they would not let me come in and do a polymer clay class with the kids because that would influence them. It took a long time for me to understand. In my opinion all experiences, not forced, are good. I felt the children might like to try it and have that knowlege if in the future there was something they wanted to create they would have a tool that they could use. The woman at the school thought it would push kids in a direction that they werent meant to go. She gave the example that they had a student who sculpted incredible animals and if they had suggested art lessons or contests he might have become a great artist but on his own he later decided it was the bone and muscle structure that interested him so he became a vet. I understand but do not agree with her philosophy. I did send my daughter for 2 years to an alternative school in NJ but have since unschooled. The school was unschooling away from home and I felt I missed out on sharing the experiences and it was expensive considering they weren't "teaching" the kids. - Robin


--- In [email protected], "yngeharol" <yngeharol@...> wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@> wrote:
> >
> > -=-Maybe when he's eight or older, if he wants to go, we might send
> > him. Although that possiblity is far in the future, does anyone here
> > have experience with Sudbury (or similar) schools?=-
> >
> > The best thing this list can do for you is to give you information and
> > ideas that might help you make his life so rich he won't want to go to
> > school when he's eight. Eight isn't very far in the future.
> >
> > Sandra
>
> That would be fine, of course. But Sudbury isn't "schooly". It's about as open as something can be and still be called a school. He will have about as much autonomy at home as possible, but, for some children there is something good about being away and then triumphantly returning and telling the family about exploits and projects.
>
> And, no, of course eight isn't far in the future if you compare it to the legnth of an average lifetime.
>
> Well, if anyone has any stories (even second hand) about Sudbury, please let me know.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Ynge
>

Sandra Dodd

-=-with regards to boarding school perhaps the reference is to
summerhill?-=-



True. an unschooling dad this morning in the unschooling chat said
his daughter went there for one semester.



A comment the other day about the term "homeschooling" was about what
we're doing being nothing like schooling, but unschooling IS like
Summerhill, and open classroom schools, and Sudbury and the Rocky
Mountain school wehre John Holt taught for a while. They are *like*
those schools, as much as they are like any schools.

Unschooling can be nothing more than a kind of open classroom at home,
but it's better when it's expanded past academics.



Sandra




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Sandra Dodd

-=-In my opinion all experiences, not forced, are good.-=-

Could you rephrase that, please?




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