Sandra Dodd

I see looking down at a PILE of e-mail that there's strife and
bullshit on the list I haven't gotten to yet. I'll get there. But
before that, some GOOD things:

http://lyricsgame.blogspot.com/2009/05/umbrella-or-parasol.html
The lyrics game word is "umbrella," and I worked in a picture of the
Beatles and of Blake's Lotaburger.

I have some site news here:
http://aboutunschooling.blogspot.com
and I did add those videos to my unschooling page, as some of you
thought would be as good idea (and were persuasive; thanks).

Tomorrow Holly is going with Keith to Alamogordo. She has the day
off, and he will take a day. His mother is dying. She's 91 and has
more than one cancer and had her arm amputated in early March, and his
dad says she's not doing well. When he called to talk to her on
Mother's Day she was asleep and his dad says she sleeps nearly always
and he should probably go and see her. Holly and Marty were asked
separately whether they wanted to go with him. Holly immediately
wanted to go. Marty has one day off this week, Thursday, and has an
ongoing role playing game that night, and a girlfriend, and he thought
a while and opted out.

The cool thing about all that is that no one was made to feel
pressured or guilty. "Do you want to go with me to see grandma?" was
not a loaded question, nor a disguised requirement. I opted out
myself, and Keith was as sweet to me as if I'd said I would go, and
would have been the same either way.

That's harder with newer, younger couples maybe. It's impossible in
some families for such a question and an occasion to honestly and
truly be a respected choice.

Sandra

Robin Bentley

>
> The cool thing about all that is that no one was made to feel
> pressured or guilty. "Do you want to go with me to see grandma?" was
> not a loaded question, nor a disguised requirement. I opted out
> myself, and Keith was as sweet to me as if I'd said I would go, and
> would have been the same either way.
>
When my dad was dying, Michelle (14) did not want to go to see him in
the long-term care hospital. She is sensitive to emotions of others,
easily upset, and I think she wanted to remember him in the good
moments they spent together. The rest of my family went to see him,
including me. Michelle stayed in the car.

My sil really wanted to try to make Michelle feel guilty about this,
but I wouldn't let her. Sil's done a lot of damage to her relationship
with Michelle in the few times she's been with her. I understand her
own sons' desire to stay pretty far away from her, if they can.

My mum (when she was alive) and my sister completely supported
Michelle in her choice and were always sweet to her. I so appreciated
that, as did Michelle.

Robin B.

[email protected]

>>>> When my dad was dying, Michelle (14) did not want to go to see him
in
the long-term care hospital. She is sensitive to emotions of others,
easily upset, and I think she wanted to remember him in the good
moments they spent together. The rest of my family went to see him,
including me. Michelle stayed in the car. <<<<

When my grandmother got cancer, I stayed with her a few months, and it
was great getting to know her more closely. I had stayed with her a
while when I was 16 as well. I also got to know my Grandpa Hoyle, who
my grandmother married after 8 years widowhood, and they had their 25th
anniversary while I was staying with her that 2nd time when she was
sick. Getting to know them was a great thing for me, and Grandpa isn't
a blood relation but I would love it if he were. He's been in a
nursing home for several years (needing round the clock care 24/7).
Now he's 96 and my grandmother has been gone for 24 years. I haven't
been to see him but I ask after him a lot. I don't want to go visit.
I saw him in person I think it was 2001 while he was still living on
his on.

Like Michelle, I didn't want to remember Grandma dead in a casket or go
to her funeral, so my parents didn't make it a thing about it at all.
I would say that had a lot to do with the fact that my dad found his
dad dead of a heart attack in the field. He was a chicken and egg
farmer in the 40s.

My parents weren't unschoolers. So how how all this relates is that
unschoolers can respect the children choices in such important matters
on purpose. And that's good. :)

~Katherine