Melissa Dietrick

hello all,
I just wanted to touch in and let all of those who gave me so many things to
thinkabout and do re *my* testing anxiety, (in italy, unschooling all by my
lonesome) that we survived and shanti took the exam on Monday this week...

I never got back to yo all as you may well imagine with 7 children, two
family businesses, and a minifarm with animals plus me trying to create
online community for homeschooling and attachment parenting in italy is
keeping me rather busy, lol.

I really took to heart the suggestion that Lisa Wendell threw out to me:

\\Would she understand if you had a conversation with her about how she has
to
take this test just to keep them happy so she can continue to stay at home?
Just make it a "it's really not a big deal, you will do as well as you can
and
get it over with, kind of conversation." That you'll do something special
afterwards to celebrate that it is over and she gets to stay home. Tell her
you'd rather she not have to take the test (so she knows you are on her
side)
but it is unavoidable so we will do it and not make anything of it. Let her
know you and dad think she is wonderful exactly where she is and you know
she is
doing well in life - living and learning through living her interests but to
continue on this path they have this test - maybe not even call it a test -
just
call it something different - perhaps call it "they want to go over some
things
with you and ask you some questions."

Could you approach it from a playful aspect: It's just a silly little rule
they
have about children that don't go to school. Skip around / dance around
before
or afterwards. Do something special together - go get an ice-cream cone (or
what ever would be special to her). Put on her favorite music and have a
party
/ celebration afterwards? Put the focus on FUN ? Spend a lot of time
planning
together this special event so that she focuses on the FUN.\\\

sorry to copy it all out, but for me this was just sooo key. *this* is
*me*...but my fears were taking over the show...

we made an exam dress together, she doing the design, measurements and
(modelling lol)
we made plans for where to go afterwards (to the local, famous pastry shop
near the school) and we had an end of school/finished exam party for lunch
(as all her olders had their first day of vacation on her exam day), and we
just relaxed. a few days later she wanted to know what might be on the test,
and we went thru her books and I showed her what I thought they might be
interested in seeing... I left it up to her to cover anything in particular,
but I upped my playing on the computer at mathy sites and found out we have
alot of fun together doing that! that was it for review. that met my needs
for consistancy "unschooling-wise". the last three days she set to work, on
her own accord, to finish up a times table grid that is in one of her
books...I was totally relaxed about whether she reviewed or not, that felt
real good. I had really let go of the whole thing.

The day of the exam, shanti had woke up scared to go, but bit by bit we got
up, ate, got in the car, got out, got into the school, met the teachers that
did the exam, waited for them to get ready, got in the room...slowly slowly
her fear calmed and she became herself again. They had prepared three
test sections,

science/geography: a couple worksheets with the cycle of life of the
seed/plant, and the egg/chick/chicken. another with the circle of the days
of the week, the months the seasons... some pics with before during and
after to figure out...

math: a bunch of stuff she was familiar with...the only trouble there were
knowing the multiplications by memory: the teacher was real n ice and she
saw she understood the principals involved with multiplication so after
calculating a few like 8x9, 7x8, on her fingers
the teacher just waved the rest, lol.

and for language some reading and answering the questions.

she was real fun to watch (we, me and her two smaller brothers were right
there with her, and she got to sit in my lap as long as she wished): she
would look a page, say "this is too easy" and toss it aside!! totally normal
lol. the teachers would say, but no, please, fill it out, just for us? we
really need to have that silly piece of paper so you can just keep on doing
school at home...and she: "okay, but its silly stuff..." LOL!

towards the end (it took about 2 hours!, I think they didnt realize how much
stuff they had gathered for her to do) she was getting tired and the teacher
(that later I found out is the vice principal!) was just so nice and really
walked her thru each thing...

Shana was just soo happy to have faced it and got it done. I had made sure
in advance no mention of grades or passing failing what not would be
mentioned in front of her, and they really respected that.

as for me? I really figured out alot of stuff. Like why I was so anxious.
I hate ambiguous situations. And here I really couldnt figure out what was
going on. I wont go into all the details, but alot that came up for me was
linked with my feeling so sad that the relationship that I had had with one
particular teacher of my first 4 children, just went down the drain because
of our choosing to homeschool.

Also, I found out that because of that "friendship" that turned out not to
be such a friendship, I was lacking in clarity about what I *really*
wanted: dh said it so well: "you got what you wanted, didnt you?" and
me: "what did I want?" and him: "you wanted to let your girl learn in
freedom, no?"

this just about floored me because I was getting sucked back into a school
mentality all because of my fears around this testing. So I started reading
the archives here and elsewhere... and I came across this post, that sandra
wrote recently but seems I missed:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/message/34034

reading this was so grounding for some reason (just to read that someone
else had to deal with testing and what they did was wnderful)...and I came
away filled with a new ...vehemence? cant find the word. I want to find out
more as to why testing is so detrimental to natural learning (unschooled
learning???) , and to any kind of learning...

Arent there any articles or research on this subject?

Im am also very committed now to forming a homeschooling unschooling forum
to help italian homeschoolers connect...we have one already but it is run
by a religious group that is very helpful, but they moniter ruthlessly. It
makes for communicating freely a bit difficult...to say the least. (nothing
against the religion, I can understand their needs to protect their
community from subversive thinking, lol like challanging the officials on
testing, which is something I and others are trying to explore (with lots of
posts not going thru, unfortunately)...

Im trying to figure out how to describe (radical) unschooling to people who
have never heard of it. A lot of italians cannot read english worth a dime.


I am reluctant to use the tearm "unschooling" so I was wondering what others
might think a good term would be to use (translated into italian of
course!)...

maybe that shoould be another thread? Ive been here too long already, but I
really wanted to let you all know that we survived and are stronger for it..
more determined that ever!

xxxmelissa
ps Sandra, I was wondering how the "curriculum" translation worked out for
you all? maybe you would prefer to have the eng. originals in italian first
before using my version? also, recently rereading it, there are a few things
Id like to change, as I noticed that I have a few "teaching" POV rather
than learning POV that I missed.

Also, because I need to really help a few friends in particular, that I may
post about for advice soon, what should I translate first???
okay thats probably way too much for one thread update, lol!
meli


in italy
mamma di 7
lucia 20yr, lidia 17yr, matteo 13yr, raffaele 10yr,
elena shanti 7yr, giacomo leo 4yr and gioele 2y

"There is a Place beyond Rightness and Wrongness -- I'll meet you there."

Rumi

http://www.larimeloom.etsy.com
http://www.flauto.tk
http://www.attachmentparenting.eu


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