Joylyn

My parents were here a month or so ago. My daughter, Alexx, was reading a really good book. After we all went to the Getty, we went out to eat. My daughter had not really read at the Getty, although she carried her book and at any break in the action, she would sit and read. So, when we were waiting for our food, Alexx was eating. She was also interacting with us, talking,but she was also reading. My parents indicated that I should take her book. I reminded them that they did that to me, and I didn't like it. I thought it was rude. They said that at the table, we should be talking and not having one person read. I said gently that it seemed Alexx could do both, that she was reading, but also interjecting comments during the conversation, and that I thought she was fine. I did NOT take her book. Alexx continued to read. My parents did not bring it up again. I didn't make a big deal of it but I also didn't take her book. I was proud of myself, for standing up, quietly (rather than loudly) for my child.

Sometimes, we'll go out to eat and we'll all be reading. we'll be talking and joking but all of us will have our books. I find this rather ideal. I love the fact that both my children love reading, as I do. We are wall to wall books in our house and we love to read...

Joylyn

Barbara Perez

Ohhhh that struck a note! I was told "no books at the table" so often
as a child! Then I had kids, and assuming that it would restrict our
interactions,automatically instituted the same rule. Well, I soon
found out that my bookworm daughter would of course choose to continue
to read elsewhere rather than come to the table without her book! We
then came up with a compromise of sorts, and had "bring your book to
the table" nights more often than not (this later evolved into "bring
your stuffed animal" to the table, my son's idea). But I like your way
better!

On 4/7/08, Joylyn <joylyn1@...> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
>
> My parents were here a month or so ago. My daughter, Alexx, was reading a
> really good book. After we all went to the Getty, we went out to eat. My
> daughter had not really read at the Getty, although she carried her book and
> at any break in the action, she would sit and read. So, when we were waiting
> for our food, Alexx was eating. She was also interacting with us,
> talking,but she was also reading. My parents indicated that I should take
> her book. I reminded them that they did that to me, and I didn't like it. I
> thought it was rude. They said that at the table, we should be talking and
> not having one person read. I said gently that it seemed Alexx could do
> both, that she was reading, but also interjecting comments during the
> conversation, and that I thought she was fine. I did NOT take her book.
> Alexx continued to read. My parents did not bring it up again. I didn't make
> a big deal of it but I also didn't take her book. I was proud of myself, for
> standing up, quietly (rather than loudly) for my child.
>
> Sometimes, we'll go out to eat and we'll all be reading. we'll be talking
> and joking but all of us will have our books. I find this rather ideal. I
> love the fact that both my children love reading, as I do. We are wall to
> wall books in our house and we love to read...
>
> Joylyn
>

Joylyn

I think I realized I could be with my kids and not be dictating the activity. Pam S says that her kids watch tv and it's an interactive family activity. It is in our house too. So is reading. we are listening to HP 7, and I stopped it in the middle and we had this conversation about it, so even listening to a book together is interactive...

Joylyn
---- Barbara Perez <barbara.perez@...> wrote:
> Ohhhh that struck a note! I was told "no books at the table" so often
> as a child! Then I had kids, and assuming that it would restrict our
> interactions,automatically instituted the same rule. Well, I soon
> found out that my bookworm daughter would of course choose to continue
> to read elsewhere rather than come to the table without her book! We
> then came up with a compromise of sorts, and had "bring your book to
> the table" nights more often than not (this later evolved into "bring
> your stuffed animal" to the table, my son's idea). But I like your way
> better!
>
> On 4/7/08, Joylyn <joylyn1@...> wrote:
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > My parents were here a month or so ago. My daughter, Alexx, was reading a
> > really good book. After we all went to the Getty, we went out to eat. My
> > daughter had not really read at the Getty, although she carried her book and
> > at any break in the action, she would sit and read. So, when we were waiting
> > for our food, Alexx was eating. She was also interacting with us,
> > talking,but she was also reading. My parents indicated that I should take
> > her book. I reminded them that they did that to me, and I didn't like it. I
> > thought it was rude. They said that at the table, we should be talking and
> > not having one person read. I said gently that it seemed Alexx could do
> > both, that she was reading, but also interjecting comments during the
> > conversation, and that I thought she was fine. I did NOT take her book.
> > Alexx continued to read. My parents did not bring it up again. I didn't make
> > a big deal of it but I also didn't take her book. I was proud of myself, for
> > standing up, quietly (rather than loudly) for my child.
> >
> > Sometimes, we'll go out to eat and we'll all be reading. we'll be talking
> > and joking but all of us will have our books. I find this rather ideal. I
> > love the fact that both my children love reading, as I do. We are wall to
> > wall books in our house and we love to read...
> >
> > Joylyn
> >

Sandra Dodd

I think telling a child it's always okay to read at the table is just
as bad as saying it's NEVER okay.
There are times when it's rude.

If the principle is courtesy and there is a realization that meals
aren't all just for eating food, there are other kinds of social
situations, then the person can come to use good, real judgment about
when it's a good time and when it's not.

When I eat by myself I have to have a book. I don't know how to sit
and eat with strangers watching me, and when I'm home alone I either
read or put on a movie (we have no movie/tv stuff in the kitchen,
though, so I put a book in the cookbook stand and eat that way).

If I'm eating with just one other person I see all the time, and he
or she is eating quickly to go do something else, and it's not a
social situation, I might read.

If someone invited me to dinner, just me, and was paying for it and I
took a book!? EEEEK!

If someone invited my kids to dinner and I needed to go and drive,
and the parents weren't friends with me and there were other people
involved and the kids were the center of it all, I might sit off at
another table and read.

If I went out with an old school friend and we were talking and I
took one of my kids along because it was the best option, I wouldn't
mind if they read or played gameboy quietly while we were talking.

If that principle seems hard to get, a more extreme analogy is how to
act at a wedding vs. how to act at a funeral: clothing, demeanor,
volume and tone of voice--all of that, different.

Sandra

AromaRonna

> >
> > I did NOT take her book.
> > Alexx continued to read. My parents did not bring it up again. I didn't make
> > a big deal of it but I also didn't take her book. I was proud of myself, for
> > standing up, quietly (rather than loudly) for my child.
> >Joylyn

This is great Joylyn and something for me to learn in regards to anyone that judges the way
we parent overtly. Quietly rather than loudly supporting my family.
Ronna

> >
>

Joylyn

Yeah, I am working on this, quietly rather then hugely.

Alexx knows when books are not appropriate. This was a very casual situation. Her sister was drawing with her new sketching tools, just purchased. In this situation it was fine...

Joylyn
---- AromaRonna <aromaronna@...> wrote:
>
>
> > >
> > > I did NOT take her book.
> > > Alexx continued to read. My parents did not bring it up again. I didn't make
> > > a big deal of it but I also didn't take her book. I was proud of myself, for
> > > standing up, quietly (rather than loudly) for my child.
> > >Joylyn
>
> This is great Joylyn and something for me to learn in regards to anyone that judges the way
> we parent overtly. Quietly rather than loudly supporting my family.
> Ronna
>
> > >
> >
>
>
>