Experiences with exploring beliefs?
Christy Putnam
I am not of a Christian belief system nor do I shun it or any other belief
system. However, I am finding myself facing my son (age 13) wanting to go
to a church service/cook-out with apprehension and worry - okay I will admit
fear. I have raised him, since age 3, with a Religious Science philosophy
(with a smattering of Nature-based beliefs for a while)- one of openness and
embracing all belief systems. Though my parenting has not always been
respectful (was pretty mainstream until he was about 9 or 10 and discovered
unschooling), I have always been open with him about beliefs and wanting him
to follow his heart and explore his beliefs, as his own. I did not want him
to grow up 'believing' what I do just because he grew up with it. I really
do want him to explore and find his own way, what his heart tells him is
true for him. And it is really not so much that I fear him becoming/being
Christian or any other faith label, it is the fact that there are some
churches (at least in Oklahoma) that aren't fully open about who they are
and what their true beliefs are until you are really feeling secure and have
connections/friends within the church.and even then it is questionable of
whether they are being truthful (this happened to me during my exploring and
one of my friends just a few years ago).
Part of me just tells me I need to just let go of the fear and trust that he
has a good head on his shoulders to make the right decisions for himself yet
there is the protector part of me that sees him attending this church
service because of a new girlfriend (showed no interest of exploring until
yesterday, after they became gf/bf) and not wanting him to get hurt. He has
a wealth of information at his fingertips (many of my friends are Christian,
the ministers at our Spiritual center are well versed in all types of
beliefs, and of course there are books and internet) so there are other ways
for him to explore Christianity w/o going to a church.
I am sure this has been approached before and welcome references of where I
might find unbiased information to 1)help my son discover and 2) help me get
through this.
With Utmost Gratitude,
Christy Putnam
Funschooling Mom to Seth (13) , Aden (3) & Baby Putnam (arriving 8/08)
Funloving Wife to Chet (7/4/04)
<http://abundantcuriosity.blogspot.com/> My New Blogspot
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FYI-OKC/> Funschooling Young Individuals:
FYI-OKC
<http://www.livetotalwellness.com/christy> Live Total Wellness
"I am of a "free-lance educator" variety. My children and I work together to
create avenues for learning that are mutually satisfying." ~ Hygeia
Halfmoon, PhD
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
system. However, I am finding myself facing my son (age 13) wanting to go
to a church service/cook-out with apprehension and worry - okay I will admit
fear. I have raised him, since age 3, with a Religious Science philosophy
(with a smattering of Nature-based beliefs for a while)- one of openness and
embracing all belief systems. Though my parenting has not always been
respectful (was pretty mainstream until he was about 9 or 10 and discovered
unschooling), I have always been open with him about beliefs and wanting him
to follow his heart and explore his beliefs, as his own. I did not want him
to grow up 'believing' what I do just because he grew up with it. I really
do want him to explore and find his own way, what his heart tells him is
true for him. And it is really not so much that I fear him becoming/being
Christian or any other faith label, it is the fact that there are some
churches (at least in Oklahoma) that aren't fully open about who they are
and what their true beliefs are until you are really feeling secure and have
connections/friends within the church.and even then it is questionable of
whether they are being truthful (this happened to me during my exploring and
one of my friends just a few years ago).
Part of me just tells me I need to just let go of the fear and trust that he
has a good head on his shoulders to make the right decisions for himself yet
there is the protector part of me that sees him attending this church
service because of a new girlfriend (showed no interest of exploring until
yesterday, after they became gf/bf) and not wanting him to get hurt. He has
a wealth of information at his fingertips (many of my friends are Christian,
the ministers at our Spiritual center are well versed in all types of
beliefs, and of course there are books and internet) so there are other ways
for him to explore Christianity w/o going to a church.
I am sure this has been approached before and welcome references of where I
might find unbiased information to 1)help my son discover and 2) help me get
through this.
With Utmost Gratitude,
Christy Putnam
Funschooling Mom to Seth (13) , Aden (3) & Baby Putnam (arriving 8/08)
Funloving Wife to Chet (7/4/04)
<http://abundantcuriosity.blogspot.com/> My New Blogspot
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FYI-OKC/> Funschooling Young Individuals:
FYI-OKC
<http://www.livetotalwellness.com/christy> Live Total Wellness
"I am of a "free-lance educator" variety. My children and I work together to
create avenues for learning that are mutually satisfying." ~ Hygeia
Halfmoon, PhD
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-Part of me just tells me I need to just let go of the fear and
trust that he
has a good head on his shoulders to make the right decisions for
himself yet
there is the protector part of me that sees him attending this church
service because of a new girlfriend (showed no interest of exploring
until
yesterday, after they became gf/bf) and not wanting him to get hurt.-=-
This is **so cute**!!
Seriously.
He'll be more critical because of your beliefs and of having been at
home so long, and of all the people who joined churches as adults (or
teens), the damage seems much less than those who grew up with it and
extricated themselves later.
Of all the worries adults have ever expressed about teens, "a church
service/cook-out" is the best I've heard.
-=-I am sure this has been approached before-=-
I don't think so. <g>
So do you want to just spill it and let us advise you or find links?
What church? If it's Baptist, don't worry. Methodist, ditto. Is is
some independent snake-healing church? (If you don't want to tell,
that's fine.)
-=-Part of me just tells me I need to just let go of the fear-=-
You're not considering an attempt to "forbid it," I don't think, so
trusting him seems the best-to-only option. If you try to talk him
out of it, you'll set yourself up against the allure of the
girlfriend. Try not to do that.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
trust that he
has a good head on his shoulders to make the right decisions for
himself yet
there is the protector part of me that sees him attending this church
service because of a new girlfriend (showed no interest of exploring
until
yesterday, after they became gf/bf) and not wanting him to get hurt.-=-
This is **so cute**!!
Seriously.
He'll be more critical because of your beliefs and of having been at
home so long, and of all the people who joined churches as adults (or
teens), the damage seems much less than those who grew up with it and
extricated themselves later.
Of all the worries adults have ever expressed about teens, "a church
service/cook-out" is the best I've heard.
-=-I am sure this has been approached before-=-
I don't think so. <g>
So do you want to just spill it and let us advise you or find links?
What church? If it's Baptist, don't worry. Methodist, ditto. Is is
some independent snake-healing church? (If you don't want to tell,
that's fine.)
-=-Part of me just tells me I need to just let go of the fear-=-
You're not considering an attempt to "forbid it," I don't think, so
trusting him seems the best-to-only option. If you try to talk him
out of it, you'll set yourself up against the allure of the
girlfriend. Try not to do that.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nicole Willoughby
Every family i have ever known has had some sort of beliefs wether it be athiest, buddism, baptist, catholocism, wiccan , and on and on. Some families put their religion at a higher priority than others.
I realize at 13 this may not/ probably wont be the girl he marries/has a life long relationship with. Teen boys and girls have always bought new things, tried new roles , etc mainly to impress the other. A great side effect though is they get to experience more and find out what they really like , want and believe in before making a life long commitment to someone.
Nicole
---------------------------------
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I realize at 13 this may not/ probably wont be the girl he marries/has a life long relationship with. Teen boys and girls have always bought new things, tried new roles , etc mainly to impress the other. A great side effect though is they get to experience more and find out what they really like , want and believe in before making a life long commitment to someone.
Nicole
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
~~I am not of a Christian belief system nor do I shun it or any other
belief system. However, I am finding myself facing my son (age 13)
wanting to go to a church service/cook-out with apprehension and worry
- okay I will admit fear. ~~
It wasn't very long after I'd decided I was not a Christian that my
daughter decided she wanted to go to vacation bible school. Ack.
I was very nervous about some of the same issues you mentioned.
I basically just prepped her with information about the kind of music
they would sing, that they might tell her Jesus is her saviour etc...
She looked at me funny and said "So?"
It was truly no big deal. She had a ball and all my fears about
judgmental people and the possibility of evangalizing did not come true.
I would trust him and also arm him with what he MAY encounter. If he
goes in knowing what it's about, he'll learn what he needs and leave
the rest alone. Whether he's doing it for a friend or simple
curiosity, it's something he needs to explore right now. I've found
children raised to question things to be very good at seeing through
any falseness in religion.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
belief system. However, I am finding myself facing my son (age 13)
wanting to go to a church service/cook-out with apprehension and worry
- okay I will admit fear. ~~
It wasn't very long after I'd decided I was not a Christian that my
daughter decided she wanted to go to vacation bible school. Ack.
I was very nervous about some of the same issues you mentioned.
I basically just prepped her with information about the kind of music
they would sing, that they might tell her Jesus is her saviour etc...
She looked at me funny and said "So?"
It was truly no big deal. She had a ball and all my fears about
judgmental people and the possibility of evangalizing did not come true.
I would trust him and also arm him with what he MAY encounter. If he
goes in knowing what it's about, he'll learn what he needs and leave
the rest alone. Whether he's doing it for a friend or simple
curiosity, it's something he needs to explore right now. I've found
children raised to question things to be very good at seeing through
any falseness in religion.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Nicole Willoughby
I basically just prepped her with information about the kind of music
they would sing, that they might tell her Jesus is her saviour etc...
She looked at me funny and said "So?"
She said nah I figure of god expected everyone to thank him for food every day he would have quit giving us food a long time ago .
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
they would sing, that they might tell her Jesus is her saviour etc...
She looked at me funny and said "So?"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>This makes me think of something that happened a couple of months ago. My 8 year old dd goes to awanas on Wed nights and has a blast. She has been around friends and family members in the past that said grace at every meal and had picked it up and said it herself for about 6 months . One eve she just started eating her food and I asked no grace tonight?
She said nah I figure of god expected everyone to thank him for food every day he would have quit giving us food a long time ago .
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Mar 19, 2008, at 4:48 PM, Christy Putnam wrote:
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I am sure this has been approached before and welcome references ofSupport his interests.
> where I
> might find unbiased information to 1)help my son discover and 2)
> help me get
> through this.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/19/2008 9:31:46 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
starsuncloud@... writes:
It wasn't very long after I'd decided I was not a Christian that my
daughter decided she wanted to go to vacation bible school. Ack.
I was very nervous about some of the same issues you mentioned.
I basically just prepped her with information about the kind of music
they would sing, that they might tell her Jesus is her saviour etc...
She looked at me funny and said "So?"
It was truly no big deal. She had a ball and all my fears about
judgmental people and the possibility of evangalizing did not come true.
******Hi Ren
I can identify with the *fear* thing.
My kids have expressed interest in going to a weekly kids club ,which is the
youth grp religion class held at the church where our co-op is held.
Because of fear I haven't brought it up again . But really, fear of
what????
We already talk about different beliefs alot from all the different people
in the cop and also us being the only unschoolers. They already realize *so
and so believes this* and not view it as *this is the way it is*.
So perhaps i don't need to fear anything after all. I think the main reason
they want to go is to connect with their friends and have fun anyway. And
the people involved are kind people.
You have made me think more on this issue. Thanks
~marcia
HarmonyWoodsFarm
_http://www.xanga.com/livefreeinharmony_
(http://www.xanga.com/livefreeinharmony)
**************Create a Home Theater Like the Pros. Watch the video on AOL
Home.
(http://home.aol.com/diy/home-improvement-eric-stromer?video=15?ncid=aolhom00030000000001)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
starsuncloud@... writes:
It wasn't very long after I'd decided I was not a Christian that my
daughter decided she wanted to go to vacation bible school. Ack.
I was very nervous about some of the same issues you mentioned.
I basically just prepped her with information about the kind of music
they would sing, that they might tell her Jesus is her saviour etc...
She looked at me funny and said "So?"
It was truly no big deal. She had a ball and all my fears about
judgmental people and the possibility of evangalizing did not come true.
******Hi Ren
I can identify with the *fear* thing.
My kids have expressed interest in going to a weekly kids club ,which is the
youth grp religion class held at the church where our co-op is held.
Because of fear I haven't brought it up again . But really, fear of
what????
We already talk about different beliefs alot from all the different people
in the cop and also us being the only unschoolers. They already realize *so
and so believes this* and not view it as *this is the way it is*.
So perhaps i don't need to fear anything after all. I think the main reason
they want to go is to connect with their friends and have fun anyway. And
the people involved are kind people.
You have made me think more on this issue. Thanks
~marcia
HarmonyWoodsFarm
_http://www.xanga.com/livefreeinharmony_
(http://www.xanga.com/livefreeinharmony)
**************Create a Home Theater Like the Pros. Watch the video on AOL
Home.
(http://home.aol.com/diy/home-improvement-eric-stromer?video=15?ncid=aolhom00030000000001)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Christy Putnam
So do you want to just spill it and let us advise you or find links?
What church?
It is one of those Mega-Churches ___.tv that don't openly say they are any
denomination. I looked up their site and it is so sunshine and roses with
no real statement of faith so it is hard for me to be able to tell him what
he might encounter or not. Which is another reason I am hesitant. He *did*
go last night and it wasn't a big deal, in the grand scheme of things. I
know I make it out to be bigger in my mind so reading others replies really
has helped. I have enjoyed reading others experiences and it is inspiring
to hear about successes (in support and in results of strengthening
relationships)! Thanks to everyone!
With Utmost Gratitude,
Christy Putnam
Funschooling Mom to Seth (13) , Aden (3) & Baby Putnam (arriving 8/08)
Funloving Wife to Chet (7/4/04)
<http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-T5EDDQohfrQSzRSxKyT.uBV3VXEhgoA5> Peek into
my sanity (or insanity)...
<http://abundantcuriosity.blogspot.com/> My New Blogspot
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FYI-OKC/> Funschooling Young Individuals:
FYI-OKC
<http://www.livetotalwellness.com/christy> Live Total Wellness
"I am of a "free-lance educator" variety. My children and I work together to
create avenues for learning that are mutually satisfying." ~ Hygeia
Halfmoon, PhD
Family Affirmation: Our family will be debt free and moved into our very
own, easily affordable, comfortable and secure home, close to friends by May
31, 2008.
<http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/> pregnancy calendar
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
What church?
It is one of those Mega-Churches ___.tv that don't openly say they are any
denomination. I looked up their site and it is so sunshine and roses with
no real statement of faith so it is hard for me to be able to tell him what
he might encounter or not. Which is another reason I am hesitant. He *did*
go last night and it wasn't a big deal, in the grand scheme of things. I
know I make it out to be bigger in my mind so reading others replies really
has helped. I have enjoyed reading others experiences and it is inspiring
to hear about successes (in support and in results of strengthening
relationships)! Thanks to everyone!
With Utmost Gratitude,
Christy Putnam
Funschooling Mom to Seth (13) , Aden (3) & Baby Putnam (arriving 8/08)
Funloving Wife to Chet (7/4/04)
<http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-T5EDDQohfrQSzRSxKyT.uBV3VXEhgoA5> Peek into
my sanity (or insanity)...
<http://abundantcuriosity.blogspot.com/> My New Blogspot
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FYI-OKC/> Funschooling Young Individuals:
FYI-OKC
<http://www.livetotalwellness.com/christy> Live Total Wellness
"I am of a "free-lance educator" variety. My children and I work together to
create avenues for learning that are mutually satisfying." ~ Hygeia
Halfmoon, PhD
Family Affirmation: Our family will be debt free and moved into our very
own, easily affordable, comfortable and secure home, close to friends by May
31, 2008.
<http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/> pregnancy calendar
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-It is one of those Mega-Churches ___.tv that don't openly say they
are any
denomination. I looked up their site and it is so sunshine and roses
with
no real statement of faith so it is hard for me to be able to tell
him what
he might encounter or not. -=-
WELL, then. Mega-Churches tend to believe they need to keep their
mega-church open, so they won't press many views that might run
people off. Tell him they'll want him to put money in the collection
plate (or to give them a pledge of regular direct withdrawals <g>.
Non-denominational mega-churches can bend the way the cash-bearing
wind blows. They seem to want to make people feel cheery, supported,
self-righteous and eager to return.
Three friends of mine who were from different backgrounds used to go
together to the biggest local church here, and they all loved it, and
none seemed to feel it went against their beliefs. Way to be vague
and inspiring and make a bunch of money! (Not my friends, the
ministerial staff.)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
are any
denomination. I looked up their site and it is so sunshine and roses
with
no real statement of faith so it is hard for me to be able to tell
him what
he might encounter or not. -=-
WELL, then. Mega-Churches tend to believe they need to keep their
mega-church open, so they won't press many views that might run
people off. Tell him they'll want him to put money in the collection
plate (or to give them a pledge of regular direct withdrawals <g>.
Non-denominational mega-churches can bend the way the cash-bearing
wind blows. They seem to want to make people feel cheery, supported,
self-righteous and eager to return.
Three friends of mine who were from different backgrounds used to go
together to the biggest local church here, and they all loved it, and
none seemed to feel it went against their beliefs. Way to be vague
and inspiring and make a bunch of money! (Not my friends, the
ministerial staff.)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]