graberamy

This kinda goes along w/ self improvement...

Hubby and I watched this movie last night, Into the wild:

http://www.intothewild.com/

(fyi, we loved it). Usually watching a movie I imagine myself as the
main character but in watching this movie I was imagining the main
character as one of my kids, watching it from a parent perspective. I'm
recommending it here because the movie is about the true life journey
for this young man, one I think started as a journey to escape his
parents.

DH and I both have strained relationships with our parents (he more than
I, much more), I'll just sum it up as we both tended to do just the
opposite of what any one of them would say. And we both took journeys
to escape.

We didn't arrive at unschooling through any certain path (attachment
parenting, la leche league, and some of the other paths that seem fairly
logical). It happened for us through trial and error. I've made my
share of mistakes, unfortunately, and unfortunately still do, but I'm
determined to be a better parent so my kids can just be (be themselves,
be happy, be independent). Unschooling came into our lives because it
is a perfect fit. I don't know how else you can raise independent,
happy kids w/out them being able to make informed choices about their
own lives.

Thinking back I may have started homeschooling for educational purposes,
thinking my kids would get the best education at home. Then I thought
the best way to educate them was by unschooling them and giving them
more freedom. Now, it's no longer about their education (per say), it's
about their happiness and how they feel about themselves and how they
see themselves. Learning w/ meaning for them, not necessarily meaning
for me (acceptance on my part).

Anyway, I wanted to recommend that movie here. It touched me and made
me want to be a better parent. Life is short, too short for some. Our
time being our children's parents is short, we don't have time for
mistakes. Unschooling has been one of the best choices I've made for
my kids and learning about unschooling and becoming an unschooler has
been a great journey for me and my self improvement.

Oh, and personally, running is my mental savior. Running outside...and
it's been a loooong winter here in Iowa. I am ready for spring and
ready to run outside!!

amy
in still cold iowa



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tanya Ziegler

--"graberamy" wrote:
> This kinda goes along w/ self improvement...
>
> Hubby and I watched this movie last night, Into the wild:
>
> http://www.intothewild.com/
>

Thanks for the recommendation - actually the reminder, I've seen
previews of this and wanted to see it. (I'll actually watch anything
Sean Penn touches.) The movie website and it's accompanying music
alone put me in an emotional/reflective state.

I also wanted to comment that I think almost all movies can be used
along the lines of self-improvement. I personally get very wrapped up
in the emotions of just about any movie and find myself reflecting on
my own thoughts and feelings that surface from almost every single one
I watch. It's cathartic for the mind and soul, especially the ones
that bring tears.

I read somewhere along my own self-improvement journey that we don't
have to necessarily re-live our past painful experiences to move past
them; we simply need to experience the attached emotion and move
through it. Getting caught up in the emotions of a movie is one way I
have found that helps to easily access those emotions (especially the
emotions we stifle) without getting caught up in all the details of
our hurts, experience these emotions, and then let them go.

I have many examples, but the 2 that stick out in my mind the most
were when I got divorced in my 20s and after my grandfather passed
away. I am the stiff-upper lip kind of person, always put on a front
of strength in front of others, so perhaps that's why movies are my
best form of therapy - I can express emotion and move on without
really having to go into the painful details that caused the emotion.

Following my separation from my ex-husband, I watched a movie (can't
remember the name) that wasn't overwhelmingly sad, but my emotions
were just under the surface and easily accessible. I was home alone
in my empty house, the movie brought the emotions up, and I bawled my
eyes out for I don't know how long. Then I was done, and I was able
to move forward with my life with hardly a tear afterwards.

Second, when my grandfather passed away a few years ago, I went back
to my hometown and spent the week catering to my mother (her father),
again being "the strong one". Upon returning to my own home, I
watched Ladder 49 (without realizing the potential implications).
Well, that's a really sad movie to begin with, and again I bawled.
And, once again, my grief moved through me, and I was done.

As for self-improvement with regards to healing our past childhood
hurts, I think I've had the same experiences with movies though I
can't remember specifics, probably because I didn't realize it at the
time, but I know there are mother/daughter movies that have brought me
tears. Through self-improvement, I have healed a lot of old hurts
that I've held from issues with my mom, and I think movies have helped
in this regard. Makes me want to go find some more, and I'll
definitely be watching "Into the Wild" now.

Tanya

graberamy

<(I'll actually watch anything
> Sean Penn touches.) >

Me too!! And Eddie Vedders soundtrack is awesome! If you think it's
a moving song before you see the movie, wait til after!! :)

I saw the movie Sunday and if I thought about it Monday, I still cried!

amy g

Sandra Dodd

-=-perhaps that's why movies are my
best form of therapy --=-

There are therapists using movies specifically. And there's a great
book about the philosophy in movies by one of my favorite
"connections" authors ever, Dean Sluyter.

http://sandradodd.com/movies

Music will do that for me, too, sometimes. Lyrics.



Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Bea

> I also wanted to comment that I think almost all movies can be used
> along the lines of self-improvement. I personally get very wrapped up
> in the emotions of just about any movie and find myself reflecting on
> my own thoughts and feelings that surface from almost every single one
> I watch. It's cathartic for the mind and soul, especially the ones
> that bring tears.
>

Totally, and for me it's not only movies: books (novels) and listening
to/reading other people's stories also does it.

When I was in my mid-20's and just coming out of a very long
depression that started in my teens, I read _She's come undone_ by
Wally Lamb, and that was like a mini therapy all by itself. (his
other novel, _I know this much is true_ is also very therapeutic)

It's funny, I'm at the beginning of my parenting journey, and
technically not unschooling since my (for now) only child is only 2.5
years old, but unschooling is soooo appealing to me, and I sooo get
it, and I just can't stop reading on all the unschooling lists, and
Sandra's website, and Joyce's website, and all the others... and this
week end I downloaded the complete audio of the 2005 and 2006 Live and
Learn conferences and listened to practically all of it. And it
finally dawned on me today as I was crying for the nth time as I was
listening to one of the talks, that the reason I get it, and the
reason I want to listen to and read about stories of these joyful
childhoods (and especially about teens), is because it's very
therapeutic for me. I can sort of re-live my own adolescence picturing
how it would have been if I had been unschooled, and if I had had
supportive parents.



Bea

Tanya Ziegler

-Sandra Dodd wrote:
>
> Music will do that for me, too, sometimes. Lyrics.
>

Same for Terry (my SO). His grandpa passed away a year ago in
January. This entire past year he has listened to everything Johnny
Cash and other favorite artists/songs of his grandpa's. He has also
watched the movie Walk the Line enough times that you'd think it was
his favorite. He knew he was listening to his grandpa's music, but
didn't make the connection that it was actually his way of grieving
until we talked about it.

After Terry broke up with his last fiance before we met, he listened
to A LOT of music. When he shared some of it with me, I thought it
was the most depressing collection I'd ever heard, but it was HIS
process.

After I finished high school and subsequently college, I listened to a
lot of my favorite music from each era respectively, I think as a way
to grieve the end of those times.

So, yeah, music is definitely therapeutic too. Books certainly would
be included as well.

Tanya

Nancy Wooton

On Mar 11, 2008, at 11:39 PM, Tanya Ziegler wrote:

> After I finished high school and subsequently college, I listened to a
> lot of my favorite music from each era respectively, I think as a way
> to grieve the end of those times.

Have you seen the movie, "High Fidelity"? In one scene, the main
character rearranges his copious record collection by breakups. Great
movie for lots of reasons :-)

Nancy