Sandra Dodd

This is compliment to my kind moderators (or one of them, whichever
one dealt with this.
----------------------------------------
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Need some good responses to my
husband's concerns

Sandra, can you please take me off the list or tell me how to do so?
I do not belong here.'
--------------------------------------------

The author, who had signed it, too, would have liked to have had the
note appear on the list.
One of the other moderators probably very kindly removed her from the
list.

I wouldn't have.

I would have pointed out that every e-mail has directions (or a link)
for unsubscribing, and that the front page of every yahoogroup has
the e-mail address for unsubscribing. Each person's yahoo account
gives them other kinds of options for leaving groups.

If someone can't figure out how to get off a yahoo list with all that
help right in front of them, should they really be homeschooling
their kids?

This list isn't about "belonging to." It's likely that very many
moms come online to find a place to belong, people to affirm their
existence and approve of their opinions. It's likely that most of
them are in their 20's or have had emotional setbacks and could use
some bolstering. That's understandable, but it's not what this list
is about.

Someone can learn a TON about unschooling by reading this list and
never writing a word.
Someone can be confused about unschooling by reading things written
by people who don't really know what they're writing about.
That's why there are several experienced old-time unschoolers and
several perceptive, talented newer unschoolers who are fairly quick
to clarify if things are going offsides. Stay on the field and stay
within the intent of the list's existence. Unschooling involves a
LOT of area and is a big field, but that doesn't mean it's
everything. Spark gap for a tune-up on a '59 Chevy should be
discussed on an automotive forum. The difference in cookies from
using margarine instead of butter should be on a cooking forum. How
a mom feels about the way another mom asked her about her first
marriage and whether she still feels she *belongs* here... that
needs to stay home and be dealt with in some personal, emotional way.

This list is for helping people understand how natural learning does
and can work in the life of a family interested in unschooling.

How do people find this list? I'm curious. If some of you who have
joined lately could tell me how you found it and where and why you
joined, that would be interesting. I figure people usually get here
from
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling
or a search for John Holt and unschooling.
I further figure those who found either of those won't be too shocked
at what we're discussing here, and how it's being discussed.

There are lots and lots of places to discuss unschooling. There are
very few as useful as this list.

Sandra




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Ed Wendell

This list was recommended on another list that I am on as a straight up no nonsense list. I read around on your site before joining though, and read the instructions / recommendations for posting (such as reading for a minimum of 2 weeks, it is about ideas, not to pat people on the back, things will get picked apart, once the ball (idea) is in play it is no longer your ball and you cannot keep jumping in and snatching the ball back - once in play it evolves and is not about you personally, etc)

I joined as I felt we (my family) was ready for the next level so to speak. Our son had turned 13 and I was getting the "yea but what if this or that never happens jitters" now and then. Plus we had some things going on that we needed to stretch and grow along with in our approach, we needed thoughts to stimulate our thoughts.

Lisa W.


How do people find this list?
.


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Nicole Willoughby

How do people find this list? I'm curious. If some of you who have
joined lately could tell me how you found it and where and why you
joined, that would be interesting>>>>>>>>>

typing unschooling into the yahoogroups search bar


---------------------------------
Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

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Amanda Philip

>> How do people find this list? I'm curious. If some of you who
have joined lately could tell me how you found it and where and why
you joined, that would be interesting. <<

My family recently moved and we've been making friends in our new
area. One of the families we met mentioned this group, and Sandra's
website. I checked them out and since they fit in with what we'd
already been doing, I joined.

I had actually happened upon Sandra's website years previous, when
first looking into hs'ing. 'Unschooling' (foreign to me then) seemed
an obvious fit; hadn't we been unschooling since dd's birth?

I can't always keep up with the conversations, having two young ones
at home, but I learn new things just by reading what I can.

I'm a mother to six y.o dd Timber and one y.o ds Rush, hoping for more
little ones in the future.

Amanda
Hamilton, Ontario Canada

BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

Hi All,
I am new to the list. Let me introduce myself quickly. I am Alex Polikowsky, I am originally from Brazil and I am mom to MD ( 5 y o) and Gigi who just turned 2.
I found unschooling reading Jan Hunt and her site The Natural Child when MD was a baby. I found SandraDodd.com about 3 years ago.
Then I found the Yahoo Groups and joined Always Unschooled.
Then I joined UnschoolingBasics, Unschoolind Discussion( where I just lurk-I just stay in up in the porch as the big dogs run!), shinewithunschooling and last year I joined Live and Learn when we registered for the Conference. The Conference was wonderful and I met wonderful families. I even met Holly (Sandra's daughter) briefly while there. I
I joined this list maybe one or two months ago. I don't have much time to post with my active little one and a 5 year old.
We live in a Dairy Farm in Minnesota. I have had the honor to have the Lovejoys and the Esembles-Waynforth in our home to visit.
I love to read and I get so much out of reading here with all the wonderful people like Sandra, Joyce, Robyn just to name a few since there are many I still don't know well.
There is really only one unschooling family in our town ( Sandra you met Christine Hall while in Minnesota with Kelli right?).
I crave like minded parents to talk. I still have bumps that I have to work on. This lists help me.
I have joined other unschooling list but I left as they are not right for me or my family.
Those list where parents still think they need to make their kids do math to learn or say limit their TV or computer time.I much rather be here than those "unschooling-whatever-works-for-your-family"lists. I can't stand parents calling their children lazy or punishing them.
So I like to hang out with parents like you.
Alex






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Sandra Dodd

-=-I read around on your site before joining though, and read the
instructions / recommendations for posting (such as reading for a
minimum of 2 weeks-=-

That's actually for the UnschoolingDiscussion list (inherited and co-
owned by Joyce Fetteroll, Pam Sorooshian and myself). On that one I
try to be nice and not draw crazy-fire. On this one, because it's my
own list and I'm not representing other listowners, I don't have to
be so careful. That's the distinction I see between them, anyway.

When I have some new topic to start and I'm deciding which one to
post it to, if it's something of interest to ALL kinds of people and
if it has to do with news or international this'n'that, I go to
UnschoolingDiscussion. If it's more philosophical or esoteric or
personal, I'm more likely to bring it to AlwaysLearning. (And
sometimes I put it on the list that's quieter, just to "get some
business," conversationally speaking.)

But it has never hurt my feelings if people mix them up and read for
two weeks before posting!

-=-I joined as I felt we (my family) was ready for the next level so
to speak. Our son had turned 13 and I was getting the "yea but what
if this or that never happens jitters" now and then.-=-

This is a good list to discuss teenagers and other real-life
considerations. <g>

Sandra

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Sandra Dodd

-=-Yes I thought about that after I hit send - that I might have
gotten the lists mixed up ;)-=-

I've mixed them up. So have Joyce and Pam. <g>

Sandra

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Ed Wendell

That's actually for the UnschoolingDiscussion list

Yes I thought about that after I hit send - that I might have gotten the lists mixed up ;)



This is a good list to discuss teenagers and other real-life
considerations. <g>

Which is why I joined - I knew that you had teens and had a lot of been there, done that experience - as well as others on here. Dear hubby, who is the stay at home person, reads this list too. We have benefitted tremendously from this group.


Lisa W.



.


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Christie Craigie-Carter

On Fri, Feb 22, 2008 at 6:56 PM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:

>
> How do people find this list? I'm curious. If some of you who have
> joined lately could tell me how you found it and where and why you
> joined, that would be interesting.
>

I found this list from a friend who unschools along with her husband. She's
a dear friend, who has provided me with much guidance, so here I am. I find
myself *very* intrigued and yet terrified as well.

Fwiw, perhaps my first real experience with my own unschooling, was the
journey to birth my last child. It was the first time I didn't do what I
was "supposed" to do because someone said so. Wow, that's strange to write,
but true. My friend, who referred me here (hi L), was a huge part of that
journey. When she realized I wasn't happy with institutionalized education,
she recommended this list, and here I am.

Doors are opening for sure, and I'm observing and making choices about which
ones to enter. The journey continues.

Christie, NY, mom to three kids, 7, 4, and 2 (well, almost)


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Lara Miller

I've only been on this list a month or two. I came here through
Sandra's website. I spent the previous year reading everything I
could get my hands on, researching everything I could find and
talking to anyone I thought could help me. And a few that couldn't
whom I have completely annoyed! :)

I am a member of several different yahoo groups with different topics
of interest. I have to admit, at first the "tone" of this group
initially surprised me. Other list seem to be more support group
oriented, as you have stated before Sandra, this isn't one of those!
I couple of times I have winced at the directness of a few comments
and let out a little verbal "ouch". But the more I thought about it,
the more I liked it. I am a very straightforward person and find
myself in constant trouble for speaking my mind. So, for me, it
makes sense that I would be drawn to a very straightforward group.

I like to think deep thoughts and ponder big questions. But
sometimes I really do need someone to just take the hammer and hit me
between the eyes. So even if I didn't throw out the topic "ball" or
respond to it, I have been hit many times since joining just by
lurking and want to thank all of you for your clear and excellent
responses.

I had also joined another unschooling yahoo group (sorry can't
remember the name at the moment) and it had way too high a volume of
"fluffy" posts for me. I like it just fine here.

Blessings,

Lara Miller
Currently just outside of Mobile, AL!
http://www.mytripjournal.com/millerfamily



>
> How do people find this list? I'm curious. If some of you who have
> joined lately could tell me how you found it and where and why you
> joined, that would be interesting. I figure people usually get here
> from
> http://sandradodd.com/unschooling
> or a search for John Holt and unschooling.
> I further figure those who found either of those won't be too shocked
> at what we're discussing here, and how it's being discussed.
>
> There are lots and lots of places to discuss unschooling. There are
> very few as useful as this list.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>



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Sandra Dodd

-=-Other list seem to be more support group
oriented, as you have stated before Sandra, this isn't one of those! -=-



It sounds so harsh and cold to say "this isn't a support group,"
because in a way it is. But in a big way, it's not.

For someone who likes to learn (which would seem to me to be a pre-
requisite condition of wanting to be an unschooler), it's a good
list. And for someone who wants to be an unschooler, you need to
learn how to do it. You probably don't need to "be taught" how to
do it, but it will help if others look over your shoulder and make
tweak-suggestions. It helps to have experienced people nearby
sometimes when you're trying to learn to do something you're not sure
about. I always want a witness when I'm going to cut expensive
cloth--someone to run it by as I'm laying out the pieces or
diagramming the pieces I'm planning to cut, someone who knows enough
to say "Wouldn't this piece be better on the bias, maybe?" or "Did
you save enough for the facing?"

The way in which this is not a support group is that it doesn't exist
to be supportive of whatever a mom wants to do. We're not here to
applaud and cheer like families on Family Feud who cheer and say
"good answer!" no matter how lame the answer is. I'm more likely,
here, to say "There are better answers."

For those who want to be applauded, it's good for the moment, but how
does it help you when the applause dies and your problems and
confusion remain? Having stranger-moms say "Ooooh, what a good
*mom* you are!" while your children are crying or unhappy doesn't
even start to begin to make you a good mom. What will make you a
good mom is going and trying to make your children happier.

I'll support anyone who really wants to understand unschooling.

Anyone's welcome to help with that, and no one is welcome to impede
that.

No one "belongs" here but it can be a nice place to visit! We all
belong with our families.

Sandra

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donnakeeble

> How do people find this list? I'm curious. If some of you who have
> joined lately could tell me how you found it and where and why you
> joined, that would be interesting. I figure people usually get here
> from
> http://sandradodd.com/unschooling
> or a search for John Holt and unschooling.
> I further figure those who found either of those won't be too shocked
> at what we're discussing here, and how it's being discussed.
>
> There are lots and lots of places to discuss unschooling. There are
> very few as useful as this list.
>
> Sandra
>
Hi,
I am also new to this list. I am mom to Jane 13yrs., Aidan 12 yrs.,
Noel 10yrs., and Gareth 4 yrs and married to Louis for 16 years. We
are newish to unschooling as far as the school part goes, but not from
the parenting & family side of things. I found this list after
searching unschooling groups on yahoo. I had read some stuff at your
website sporadically over the past few years and heard you were pretty
"straightforward" in your replies.
Donna

DaBreeze21

> How do people find this list? I'm curious. If some of you who
have joined lately could tell me how you found it and where and why
you joined, that would be interesting. I figure people usually get
here
> from
> http://sandradodd.com/unschooling
> or a search for John Holt and unschooling.

I just recently started reading about unschooling. I first joined
another yahoo group -- unschooling-dotcom and posted some questions
there. Someone in that group recommended your website and from there
I found this list.

I have been reading all of the posts. I sometimes find myself getting
confused about the points that are being made, but then if I continue
reading things become clearer again. Right now, unschooling is a
topic that is drawing me like a moth to a flame.

I am going to post separately to introduce myself and ask a couple of
questions.

Thanks!

Susan

[email protected]

In a message dated 2/22/2008 6:58:45 PM Eastern Standard Time,
Sandra@... writes:

How do people find this list? I'm curious. If some of you who have
joined lately could tell me how you found it and where and why you
joined, that would be interesting.


I got here from a discussion on Unschooling Discussion, where you invited
someone to continue said discussion here.

I got to Unschooling Discussion from someone who was my first exposure to
the idea of unschooling. She was a pretty laid back person, but was very
agitated with someone named Sandra Dodd. She would get very heated talking about
Sandra's list and couldn't seem to let it go. So I had to come see for myself.
:: grin :: It took some thought-process adjusting (but doesn't many aspects of
unschooling?), but I found this a great place to grow and learn.

I can't thank you veterans enough for your contributions to our lives. I
admire your patience in answering the same questions repeatedly over the years,
putting up with the "heckling", as it were, and continuing to be here for
those of us to have you "looking over our shoulders and suggesting tweaks". THANK
YOU!!

Peace,
De



**************Ideas to please picky eaters. Watch video on AOL Living.
(http://living.aol.com/video/how-to-please-your-picky-eater/rachel-campos-duffy/
2050827?NCID=aolcmp00300000002598)


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carnationsgalore

I joined the list about a week ago. I was a member for a couple of
months in the summer of 2006 when I last considered us to be
unschoolers. (yes, there's a story there but I'll save that for
another time) I found this list by searching yahoo groups for the
keyword unschooling. As we try to get back into natural learning
and living, I felt the need to immerse myself in unschooling
discussions. I joined several groups to read for a while and get a
feel for the lists to find the ones that would be most helpful for
me.

When I was on unschooling lists a couple of years ago, it was the
2nd time I had tried joining the unschooling world. I remember
thinking it was a bit easier to get into but I was still in a
defensive mode. I didn't feel I belonged on some of the groups. I
even argued with veteran unschoolers. We'll leave it at that.
*laugh* Since that time, I've come to understand a bit more. I'm
looking at posts now with a new understanding that I didn't have a
couple of years ago. But I still have questions and doubts. I like
this list. I do find it to be very helpful in answering questions
or concerns that I have had and even ones I didn't realize I had
yet. :)

Beth M.

Sandra Dodd

-=-When I was on unschooling lists a couple of years ago, it was the
2nd time I had tried joining the unschooling world. I remember
thinking it was a bit easier to get into but I was still in a
defensive mode-=-

This is a clue, maybe, to some of the disconnect in these discussions.

Unschooling isn't a world to join, it's a way to be with one's own
children.

As part of it is giving up the school attachments and desires and
focus, maybe it's a little (just kinda) like AA/Alcoholics
Anonymous. You can quit drinking without that organization maybe,
and you can maybe join it and get help or motivation to stop
drinking, but you can't keep drinking and keep going to AA meetings
just for the social life.

This isn't a "social life" list.

I do understand the benefit of immersion in discussions, but if one's
focus is whether he/she feels welcome and accepted and supported
instead of whether one is picking up good ideas and tools to use in
his/her relationship with children in the home, a point is being missed.

Sandra








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carnationsgalore

> Unschooling isn't a world to join, it's a way to be with one's
> own children.

Very true. As a person still learning about unschooling, I like
being a part of lots of people unschooling, which is why I referred
to it as a world. The subject is certainly extremely different from
the homeschooling groups I've been in. Right now, the internet is
the best way to do that. I can meet a few people from my state
unschoolers list but I can hear so much more discussion from large
groups such as this one.

> I do understand the benefit of immersion in discussions, but
> if one's focus is whether he/she feels welcome and accepted and
> supported instead of whether one is picking up good ideas and
> tools to use in his/her relationship with children in the home,
> a point is being missed.
> Sandra

Yes I see your point. Again, I won't speak for others but I prefer
company, preferably experienced, when trying something new. My kids
went sledding in the snow for the first time this year. Although
they saw lots of people around them doing it, they were still scared
until someone explained a few things to them and then helped them
down the hill the first time. I imagine that many of the people who
feel offended, not welcome or not accepted in a group such as this
feel scared and lonely. Sometimes it's hard to take the first step
without a smiling face nearby to walk the walk with me. My husband
isn't the kind of person who needs such a thing, but I usually am.
People who need such acceptance should surely join a more social
support group. As you said, this group is for ideas.

Beth M.

Sandra Dodd

-=-People who need such acceptance should surely join a more social
support group. As you said, this group is for ideas.-=-

The best way that learning about unschooling is NOT like school is
that you don't have to choose one school and go there and hope you
don't flunk out or get expelled.



A person doesn't *have* to join a group, and those who like groups
can join three or ten at the same time.



Sandra

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Wendy S.

> A person doesn't *have* to join a group, and those who like groups
> can join three or ten at the same time.

I personally like the groups. I've been subbed on them for years, and
just went no mail for a looonnnnggg time and realized how badly I
missed and needed them. These groups in particular (Always Learning,
Always Unschooled, Shine) really push me to change and grow as a
parent...which is what *I* want and is the reason I love them. They
are not "pat you on the back" support groups, but they are "yeah you
screwed up and yes you can do better" groups.

If someone does not want to be pushed, then no, they should not be here.

Just my opinion.

Wendy S. in GA
Mom to Shelby, Age 9
http://ourjourneyfantastic.blogspot.com/

Come to the Trust Birth Conference!
March 7-9, 2008 in Redondo Beach, California
www.trustbirthconference.com

****************
BIRTH IS SAFE, INTERVENTION IS RISKY
http://www.trustbirth.com/



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janellewrock

--- In [email protected], Sanguinegirl83@... wrote:
>
>
> In a message dated 2/22/2008 6:58:45 PM Eastern Standard Time,
> Sandra@... writes:
>
> How do people find this list? I'm curious. If some of you who have
> joined lately could tell me how you found it and where and why you
> joined, that would be interesting.


So...I'm letting you know how I found this list...

My daughter is only 2 1/2, so I guess I'm not an unschooler yet.
However, I'm learning so much and so glad I found this because I'm
already applying so many new principles to the way I'm parenting.

I've been thinking some time about home schooling, because having a
teaching credential, and having taught some and worked with children in
many settings, as soon as I had my daughter, I realized they can't be
tuaght in school in a way that fits how children learn and develop.
Already curious about ways I'd go about getting into homeschooling
groups, I Googled UU homeschoolers because I've been going to a
Unitarian Universalist church and thought I'd find some groups we'd fit
into some time. I found the UUHomeschoolers group and joined. Someone
sent a link to listen to Sandra's talk on peaceful parenting, which
linked me to your site. I listened to the talk and checked out all over
the site. I'd never heard of unschooling before. I guess I found the
group through your site after that.

That's probably too long of an explanation, but there it is.

Janelle

Sandra Dodd

-=-My daughter is only 2 1/2, so I guess I'm not an unschooler yet.
However, I'm learning so much and so glad I found this because I'm
already applying so many new principles to the way I'm parenting.-=-

I think considering unschooling or planning to unschool or starting
to use these principles... those are all noble and legitimate
things. (And lots of people would consider all that unschooling.
I'm the minority opinion.)

-=-That's probably too long of an explanation, but there it is.-=-

No, it was fine! Thanks.



Sandra

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BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

I think I get what you are saying about unschooling starting at school age. When my son was about 3 I joined a local small homeschooling group in town. THere where 4 families that consider themselves unschoolers counting mine. All four had kids younger or around five years old. One sent the kid to school because he was not being "challenged enough" when he turned 7. The other is ecletic with lots of siting down to "learn" when the kids reached seven. They are still relaxed but far from unschoolers. The third half is in school and the other half is at home because mom is ill and they want more friends ( a different situation). We get a lot of "OH so he is in kinderganden now?". I just say no we homeschool.
So yes I see people not trusting their kids anymore when they reach a certain age and should be in school.
Alex
Check out my new blog at:
http://polykow.blogspot.com/



Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
-=-My daughter is only 2 1/2, so I guess I'm not an unschooler yet.
However, I'm learning so much and so glad I found this because I'm
already applying so many new principles to the way I'm parenting.-=-

I think considering unschooling or planning to unschool or starting
to use these principles... those are all noble and legitimate
things. (And lots of people would consider all that unschooling.
I'm the minority opinion.)

-=-That's probably too long of an explanation, but there it is.-=-

No, it was fine! Thanks.

Sandra

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-. One sent the kid to school because he was not being "challenged
enough" when he turned 7. The other is ecletic with lots of siting
down to "learn" when the kids reached seven. They are still relaxed
but far from unschoolers. The third half is in school and the other
half is at home because mom is ill and they want more friends ( a
different situation). We get a lot of "OH so he is in kinderganden
now?". I just say no we homeschool. -=-

I think my objection is partly an "it's not fair" response.
Dishonesty bugs me more than anything else in the world.

-=-One sent the kid to school because he was not being "challenged
enough" when he turned 7. -=-

And in a case like that it grates on my nerves to think they might
be going around saying forever more that they unschooled for six years.

Sandra

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