riverkatie

Hello, I am a new member of this list, having found it via Sandra's
website. I am currently researching unschooling. We have been
homeschooling for just over 2 years now, and are getting steadily more
'relaxed'. I homeschool 2 children aged 16 and 11. I also have an 18
year old. As yet we are not unschoolers.

I am trying to discern what people actually mean by unschooling and so
have found your recent discussions interesting. It seems to me there
are two major differences between a type of 'benign neglect' and
unschooling.

The first seems to be a steady diet of interests and resources fed to
your child with a lack of attachment to these resources in yourself.
For example you may leave a number of informative magazines (or other
items)around, but you do not mind if your child chooses to ignore
them. (ditto for trips etc. You go to the zoo, but you do not require
your child to 'do' or 'see' anything in particular whilst there)

The second seems to be 'availability'. For example if your child wants
to know how the lawnmower works, you are immediately available to help
her wrestle with the sticky garage door, provide screwdrivers for
removal of covers etc to see inside said lawnmower. (One may even get
the lawn cut, but maybe that's getting 'attached' again!)Or available
to drive to the library, or the beach or wherever.

I can see at once in families there must be some give and take and
someone needs to make sure there is some balance here, as bullying
between family members is all too common. It should not always be the
same person who gives up their visit to the park in order to allow
another family member to visit the library. Ditto with financial
resources, computer time, parental availability etc.

Now do you experienced unschoolers feel I am on the right track here?
It is very hard to understand unschooling, particularly if you have no
practical examples around you to observe. But I am trying....

From Kit.

Sandra Dodd

-=-bullying between family members is all too common-=-

Bullying isn't common when people have lots. Lots of time,
attention, freedom, etc... bullying isn't too common.

If you start from negative presumptions, it's harder to expect good
things to happen.


-=-The first seems to be a steady diet of interests and resources fed to
your child with a lack of attachment to these resources in yourself.-=-

The tone of this sounds too forced. "Diet" and "fed" aren't as
descriptive as "interesting things provided."

I LOVE some of the things I share with my kids. I'm quite attached
to them, myself. I learned to accept that my kids might not always
love the same things I do.

-=-For example if your child wants
to know how the lawnmower works, you are immediately available to help
her wrestle with the sticky garage door, provide screwdrivers for
removal of covers etc to see inside said lawnmower.-=-

A child is very unlikely to wonder how a lawnmower works when it's
sitting quietly in the garage. But when someone's mowing, it might
be cool to take the time to show her, if she's interested. If she
asks between times, open a webpage!

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

riverkatie

---
>
> The tone of this sounds too forced. "Diet" and "fed" aren't as
> descriptive as "interesting things provided."
>
> I LOVE some of the things I share with my kids. I'm quite attached
> to them, myself. I learned to accept that my kids might not always
> love the same things I do.
>
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

It would seem, however, we are on the same idea...the semantics are
more of a problem than the concepts.

Then one realizes just how much the way one SAYS a thing affects the
way one thinks about it.

I think this is one of the problems about learning about unschooling.
Its so very easy to 'get it wrong'. I, like many other 'schooled'
adults I know (I am sure there are some people not so affected but
sadly I have met more like me) find that when I get things wrong, I
retire from the discussion. Unschooling is easy to 'get wrong'. It is
easier to get out the workbooks. It takes determination and resistance
to the above mentioned conditioning to carry on finding out.

However, I am determined to discover more about unschooling, so carry
on. Put me straight. Semantics are important. They way we speak (or
write) reflects the assumptions we live by, and many assumptions can
do with a review in the light of day every now and again!

Kit