Can i be a good unschooling mom if....
halfshadow1
I am in chronic pain? Based on what has been going on with my sciatica
for more then 3 years now i am worried i will not be able to get up
and go when my son wants too. Today he wanted to go to the palyground
and i told him i am hurting to much to go there. It breaks my heart.
We did sit on the patio with his soldiers and play and i even played
some frisbee with him.I am concerned if there is(and has been)
something going on and we couldn't go,like,there was a meetup at a
park and the day before i was excited to be taking him but when the
morning came i couldn't. Some days i can't get out until 2pm. I have
to sit a certain way and walking is hell,i have to stop and lean over
just to get some relief from the pain,when i'm driving i'm almost
standing on my left leg to relieve the pain. I had a nice break from
pain for a month and now that the cooler weather is here, i would love
to get out and about but the pains back...sucks! I am on pain pills
but it doesn't do much, I was on the fenytal patch and shots in my
back but they didn't help. I just feel like he's missing out and i
don't know what to do. There's so much i want to do with him and
places i want to take him. Is there anyone else here that has chronic
pain and how do you deal with it?
for more then 3 years now i am worried i will not be able to get up
and go when my son wants too. Today he wanted to go to the palyground
and i told him i am hurting to much to go there. It breaks my heart.
We did sit on the patio with his soldiers and play and i even played
some frisbee with him.I am concerned if there is(and has been)
something going on and we couldn't go,like,there was a meetup at a
park and the day before i was excited to be taking him but when the
morning came i couldn't. Some days i can't get out until 2pm. I have
to sit a certain way and walking is hell,i have to stop and lean over
just to get some relief from the pain,when i'm driving i'm almost
standing on my left leg to relieve the pain. I had a nice break from
pain for a month and now that the cooler weather is here, i would love
to get out and about but the pains back...sucks! I am on pain pills
but it doesn't do much, I was on the fenytal patch and shots in my
back but they didn't help. I just feel like he's missing out and i
don't know what to do. There's so much i want to do with him and
places i want to take him. Is there anyone else here that has chronic
pain and how do you deal with it?
LR
Have you ever considered trying acupressure/acupuncture to see if any relief
can be gained that way? I have used both with great results. I still have a
flare up every once and a while but can do so much more than ever before.
Lisa
_____
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
On Behalf Of halfshadow1
Sent: Tuesday, October 16, 2007 6:25 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Can i be a good unschooling mom if....
I am in chronic pain? Based on what has been going on with my sciatica
for more then 3 years now i am worried i will not be able to get up
and go when my son wants too. Today he wanted to go to the palyground
and i told him i am hurting to much to go there. It breaks my heart.
We did sit on the patio with his soldiers and play and i even played
some frisbee with him.I am concerned if there is(and has been)
something going on and we couldn't go,like,there was a meetup at a
park and the day before i was excited to be taking him but when the
morning came i couldn't. Some days i can't get out until 2pm. I have
to sit a certain way and walking is hell,i have to stop and lean over
just to get some relief from the pain,when i'm driving i'm almost
standing on my left leg to relieve the pain. I had a nice break from
pain for a month and now that the cooler weather is here, i would love
to get out and about but the pains back...sucks! I am on pain pills
but it doesn't do much, I was on the fenytal patch and shots in my
back but they didn't help. I just feel like he's missing out and i
don't know what to do. There's so much i want to do with him and
places i want to take him. Is there anyone else here that has chronic
pain and how do you deal with it?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
can be gained that way? I have used both with great results. I still have a
flare up every once and a while but can do so much more than ever before.
Lisa
_____
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
On Behalf Of halfshadow1
Sent: Tuesday, October 16, 2007 6:25 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Can i be a good unschooling mom if....
I am in chronic pain? Based on what has been going on with my sciatica
for more then 3 years now i am worried i will not be able to get up
and go when my son wants too. Today he wanted to go to the palyground
and i told him i am hurting to much to go there. It breaks my heart.
We did sit on the patio with his soldiers and play and i even played
some frisbee with him.I am concerned if there is(and has been)
something going on and we couldn't go,like,there was a meetup at a
park and the day before i was excited to be taking him but when the
morning came i couldn't. Some days i can't get out until 2pm. I have
to sit a certain way and walking is hell,i have to stop and lean over
just to get some relief from the pain,when i'm driving i'm almost
standing on my left leg to relieve the pain. I had a nice break from
pain for a month and now that the cooler weather is here, i would love
to get out and about but the pains back...sucks! I am on pain pills
but it doesn't do much, I was on the fenytal patch and shots in my
back but they didn't help. I just feel like he's missing out and i
don't know what to do. There's so much i want to do with him and
places i want to take him. Is there anyone else here that has chronic
pain and how do you deal with it?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
carelia
On Oct 16, 2007, at 3:24 PM, halfshadow1 wrote:
similar, as far as being able to do things.
First - as far as you are able, find ways to not have to do the daily
things that will drain your energy. Groceries can be delivered.
Houses do not need to be spotless. Cook in large quantities when you
CAN cook, and freeze lots of meals. This will free up more time and
energy for your son.
We bought memberships to the local zoo and are looking into museums.
That way, if I feel like I can get out but maybe only for an hour
(not all day) we can still go someplace, and if we leave early I
don't feel like the admission was wasted. We cut out ads from local
stores and activities that look interesting, and taped them to a
wall. Then if we have a free hour (or if I have an hour's worth of
energy) we can just pick one and visit.
My son is also the type to be disappointed if I hype something and
then we can't go. I just stop hyping the events. When I get up, if I
feel like we can go someplace, I will ask him what he wants to do
(giving him a few options of things I feel up to).
There may be a lot of things you can do at home, with some
forethought as far as you own limitations. Can you help him cook? Do
art projects? Put him in a bathtub with measuring cups and funnels
and thermometers and ice? Pam Sorooshian had a recipe for a gelatin
thingie that you can put paint in with an eyedropper - those are a
LOT of fun! http://www.sandradodd.com/strew/tadaa.html
Is there a teenager in the neighborhood who can take him to the park
after school? Another homeschool family that can drive him to
parkdays or classes? Would a motorized scooter help? They have those
at a lot of places now, in the grocery stores and zoos and things.
You might also ask HIM for ideas, what he'd like to do at home. Kids
can be amazingly creative.
**********
carelia ~ C. Norton
carelia@...
http://PlantImpossibleGardens.blogspot.com/
"Mum" to Katherine (19), Christopher (16), and Aaron (8), and
"Moogie" to Ashlynn (3 months)
I'm not a teacher, but an awakener. ~ Robert Frost
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Is there anyone else here that has chronicI have chronic fatigue issues, not pain - but the end result is
> pain and how do you deal with it?
similar, as far as being able to do things.
First - as far as you are able, find ways to not have to do the daily
things that will drain your energy. Groceries can be delivered.
Houses do not need to be spotless. Cook in large quantities when you
CAN cook, and freeze lots of meals. This will free up more time and
energy for your son.
We bought memberships to the local zoo and are looking into museums.
That way, if I feel like I can get out but maybe only for an hour
(not all day) we can still go someplace, and if we leave early I
don't feel like the admission was wasted. We cut out ads from local
stores and activities that look interesting, and taped them to a
wall. Then if we have a free hour (or if I have an hour's worth of
energy) we can just pick one and visit.
My son is also the type to be disappointed if I hype something and
then we can't go. I just stop hyping the events. When I get up, if I
feel like we can go someplace, I will ask him what he wants to do
(giving him a few options of things I feel up to).
There may be a lot of things you can do at home, with some
forethought as far as you own limitations. Can you help him cook? Do
art projects? Put him in a bathtub with measuring cups and funnels
and thermometers and ice? Pam Sorooshian had a recipe for a gelatin
thingie that you can put paint in with an eyedropper - those are a
LOT of fun! http://www.sandradodd.com/strew/tadaa.html
Is there a teenager in the neighborhood who can take him to the park
after school? Another homeschool family that can drive him to
parkdays or classes? Would a motorized scooter help? They have those
at a lot of places now, in the grocery stores and zoos and things.
You might also ask HIM for ideas, what he'd like to do at home. Kids
can be amazingly creative.
**********
carelia ~ C. Norton
carelia@...
http://PlantImpossibleGardens.blogspot.com/
"Mum" to Katherine (19), Christopher (16), and Aaron (8), and
"Moogie" to Ashlynn (3 months)
I'm not a teacher, but an awakener. ~ Robert Frost
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-I just feel like he's missing out and i
don't know what to do. -=-
Maybe you can hire a neighborhood kid as a mother's helper. Maybe
an older girl, or boy, who could take him to play a couple of hours a
few times a week.
Maybe there's another homeschooling family you could ask to take him
places.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
don't know what to do. -=-
Maybe you can hire a neighborhood kid as a mother's helper. Maybe
an older girl, or boy, who could take him to play a couple of hours a
few times a week.
Maybe there's another homeschooling family you could ask to take him
places.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
halfshadow1
Can't afford to do that. I'm okay playing with him in the house and
kind of outside. It's just the getting out part that's hard.--- In
[email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
kind of outside. It's just the getting out part that's hard.--- In
[email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-I just feel like he's missing out and i
> don't know what to do. -=-
>
> Maybe you can hire a neighborhood kid as a mother's helper. Maybe
> an older girl, or boy, who could take him to play a couple of hours a
> few times a week.
>
> Maybe there's another homeschooling family you could ask to take him
> places.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=Can't afford to do that.-=-
Can't afford to ask another family for help?
I had written:
I'm guessing that was the "can't afford to."
School is free, and they'll pick the kids up and deliver them back home.
Unschooling isn't ever going to be free. There are some expenses
that are reasonable and important when a child's learning is
involved. Maybe it should become a budget line item.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Can't afford to ask another family for help?
I had written:
> Maybe you can hire a neighborhood kid as a mother's helper. Maybe-=-Can't afford to do that.-=-
> an older girl, or boy, who could take him to play a couple of hours a
> few times a week.
I'm guessing that was the "can't afford to."
School is free, and they'll pick the kids up and deliver them back home.
Unschooling isn't ever going to be free. There are some expenses
that are reasonable and important when a child's learning is
involved. Maybe it should become a budget line item.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
halfshadow1
yes, I can afford to ask another family for help but i can't afford at
this time to PAY someone. Are you saying i should put him in school
because i don't have the money to pay someone? Wouldn't a poor mom
who's heart is into being,living,loving and learning with her child be
better then school?--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd
<Sandra@...> wrote:
this time to PAY someone. Are you saying i should put him in school
because i don't have the money to pay someone? Wouldn't a poor mom
who's heart is into being,living,loving and learning with her child be
better then school?--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd
<Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=Can't afford to do that.-=-
>
> Can't afford to ask another family for help?
>
> I had written:
> > Maybe you can hire a neighborhood kid as a mother's helper. Maybe
> > an older girl, or boy, who could take him to play a couple of hours a
> > few times a week.
>
> -=-Can't afford to do that.-=-
>
> I'm guessing that was the "can't afford to."
>
> School is free, and they'll pick the kids up and deliver them back home.
>
> Unschooling isn't ever going to be free. There are some expenses
> that are reasonable and important when a child's learning is
> involved. Maybe it should become a budget line item.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Joylyn
Sandra
Your words work well for two parent families where there are, well, two
parents.
for us single moms on one income and only one adult, I think your advice
doesn't always work.
I can't afford to hire a neighborhood kid. One of my kids is in school,
an alternative school, but still a school where I hate a lot of what
happens there but it is the best solution for us at this time.
Sometimes the ideal is not possible. Sometimes you do what you can.
Joylyn
Sandra Dodd wrote:
Your words work well for two parent families where there are, well, two
parents.
for us single moms on one income and only one adult, I think your advice
doesn't always work.
I can't afford to hire a neighborhood kid. One of my kids is in school,
an alternative school, but still a school where I hate a lot of what
happens there but it is the best solution for us at this time.
Sometimes the ideal is not possible. Sometimes you do what you can.
Joylyn
Sandra Dodd wrote:
> -=Can't afford to do that.-=-[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> Can't afford to ask another family for help?
>
> I had written:
> > Maybe you can hire a neighborhood kid as a mother's helper. Maybe
> > an older girl, or boy, who could take him to play a couple of hours a
> > few times a week.
>
> -=-Can't afford to do that.-=-
>
> I'm guessing that was the "can't afford to."
>
> School is free, and they'll pick the kids up and deliver them back home.
>
> Unschooling isn't ever going to be free. There are some expenses
> that are reasonable and important when a child's learning is
> involved. Maybe it should become a budget line item.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>No virus found in this incoming message.
>Checked by AVG Free Edition.
>Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.14.13/1074 - Release Date: 10/16/2007 2:14 PM
>
>
halfshadow1
I would like to try those but my insurance doesn't cover it.My pain
doc says i need surgery but i can't do that right now.--- In
[email protected], "LR" <zanyzingzap@...> wrote:
doc says i need surgery but i can't do that right now.--- In
[email protected], "LR" <zanyzingzap@...> wrote:
>any relief
> Have you ever considered trying acupressure/acupuncture to see if
> can be gained that way? I have used both with great results. I stillhave a
> flare up every once and a while but can do so much more than everbefore.
>[mailto:[email protected]]
>
>
> Lisa
>
>
>
> _____
>
> From: [email protected]
> On Behalf Of halfshadow1
> Sent: Tuesday, October 16, 2007 6:25 PM
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Can i be a good unschooling mom if....
>
>
>
> I am in chronic pain? Based on what has been going on with my sciatica
> for more then 3 years now i am worried i will not be able to get up
> and go when my son wants too. Today he wanted to go to the palyground
> and i told him i am hurting to much to go there. It breaks my heart.
> We did sit on the patio with his soldiers and play and i even played
> some frisbee with him.I am concerned if there is(and has been)
> something going on and we couldn't go,like,there was a meetup at a
> park and the day before i was excited to be taking him but when the
> morning came i couldn't. Some days i can't get out until 2pm. I have
> to sit a certain way and walking is hell,i have to stop and lean over
> just to get some relief from the pain,when i'm driving i'm almost
> standing on my left leg to relieve the pain. I had a nice break from
> pain for a month and now that the cooler weather is here, i would love
> to get out and about but the pains back...sucks! I am on pain pills
> but it doesn't do much, I was on the fenytal patch and shots in my
> back but they didn't help. I just feel like he's missing out and i
> don't know what to do. There's so much i want to do with him and
> places i want to take him. Is there anyone else here that has chronic
> pain and how do you deal with it?
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
halfshadow1
School is not free. Parents have to buy supplies,pay for field
trips,lunch...ect.--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd
<Sandra@...> wrote:
trips,lunch...ect.--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd
<Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=Can't afford to do that.-=-
>
> Can't afford to ask another family for help?
>
> I had written:
> > Maybe you can hire a neighborhood kid as a mother's helper. Maybe
> > an older girl, or boy, who could take him to play a couple of hours a
> > few times a week.
>
> -=-Can't afford to do that.-=-
>
> I'm guessing that was the "can't afford to."
>
> School is free, and they'll pick the kids up and deliver them back home.
>
> Unschooling isn't ever going to be free. There are some expenses
> that are reasonable and important when a child's learning is
> involved. Maybe it should become a budget line item.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
LR
Yes, I can understand that. Our credit cards supplement us right now with
what I pay for acupuncture as our insurance does not cover it either. I had
to do some deep soul searching with regards to creating debt and I am glad I
did. Still I realize this isn't always an option for people. I was just in
such a bad place of not being able to function and I couldn't deal with that
anymore.
Acupressure on the other hand is free. There are a number of sites on the
net and books (sometimes in a library) that give instruction on what you can
do at home. I use it at home often still. Also reflexology.
There may be an acupuncturist in your area willing to use a sliding fee
scale as well. I am not sure where you are, but it is possible.
Have you looked into other modalities of pain management, like biofeedback
or EFT? I have talked with people who have had success at least getting
their pain to a manageable level using at home modalities.
I hope you get some relief.
Lisa
_____
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
On Behalf Of halfshadow1
Sent: Tuesday, October 16, 2007 10:18 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Can i be a good unschooling mom if....
I would like to try those but my insurance doesn't cover it.My pain
doc says i need surgery but i can't do that right now.--- In
AlwaysLearning@ <mailto:AlwaysLearning%40yahoogroups.com> yahoogroups.com,
"LR" <zanyzingzap@...> wrote:
what I pay for acupuncture as our insurance does not cover it either. I had
to do some deep soul searching with regards to creating debt and I am glad I
did. Still I realize this isn't always an option for people. I was just in
such a bad place of not being able to function and I couldn't deal with that
anymore.
Acupressure on the other hand is free. There are a number of sites on the
net and books (sometimes in a library) that give instruction on what you can
do at home. I use it at home often still. Also reflexology.
There may be an acupuncturist in your area willing to use a sliding fee
scale as well. I am not sure where you are, but it is possible.
Have you looked into other modalities of pain management, like biofeedback
or EFT? I have talked with people who have had success at least getting
their pain to a manageable level using at home modalities.
I hope you get some relief.
Lisa
_____
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
On Behalf Of halfshadow1
Sent: Tuesday, October 16, 2007 10:18 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Can i be a good unschooling mom if....
I would like to try those but my insurance doesn't cover it.My pain
doc says i need surgery but i can't do that right now.--- In
AlwaysLearning@ <mailto:AlwaysLearning%40yahoogroups.com> yahoogroups.com,
"LR" <zanyzingzap@...> wrote:
>any relief
> Have you ever considered trying acupressure/acupuncture to see if
> can be gained that way? I have used both with great results. I stillhave a
> flare up every once and a while but can do so much more than everbefore.
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> Lisa
>
>
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-Sometimes the ideal is not possible. Sometimes you do what you
can.-=-
Of course that's true.
Still I don't want to encourage people to settle easily for the least
they think they can easily do.
It's not worth running a list to do that.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
can.-=-
Of course that's true.
Still I don't want to encourage people to settle easily for the least
they think they can easily do.
It's not worth running a list to do that.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-Are you saying i should put him in school
because i don't have the money to pay someone?-=-
No.
But if there really isn't someone at home to do things with a child,
then school's an option. If a family really can't afford to make
life interesting enough to make unschooling work, would school be
better?
I want to encourage people to make their children's lives better than
school would. Not to say "school sucks and anything is better than
school." That's a cop-out, and it also scared kids so much that if
the time or circumstances require that a child goes to school, that
fear might be debilitating for the kids.
-=-Wouldn't a poor mom
who's heart is into being,living,loving and learning with her child be
better then school?--=-
Probably, if she's able to keep the kids involved, attended to and
provided for.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
because i don't have the money to pay someone?-=-
No.
But if there really isn't someone at home to do things with a child,
then school's an option. If a family really can't afford to make
life interesting enough to make unschooling work, would school be
better?
I want to encourage people to make their children's lives better than
school would. Not to say "school sucks and anything is better than
school." That's a cop-out, and it also scared kids so much that if
the time or circumstances require that a child goes to school, that
fear might be debilitating for the kids.
-=-Wouldn't a poor mom
who's heart is into being,living,loving and learning with her child be
better then school?--=-
Probably, if she's able to keep the kids involved, attended to and
provided for.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-School is not free. Parents have to buy supplies,pay for field
trips,lunch...ect.--=-
You can apply for exemptions, on lunch especially. You can request
assistance for supplies from private agencies (sometimes government;
depends where you are).
Unschooling is bound to cost more than having kids in public school.
Less than private school, probably, but more than public school.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
trips,lunch...ect.--=-
You can apply for exemptions, on lunch especially. You can request
assistance for supplies from private agencies (sometimes government;
depends where you are).
Unschooling is bound to cost more than having kids in public school.
Less than private school, probably, but more than public school.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
halfshadow1
-
Probably, if she's able to keep the kids involved, attended to and
provided for.
I do manage to do that for him. -- In [email protected],
Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
Probably, if she's able to keep the kids involved, attended to and
provided for.
I do manage to do that for him. -- In [email protected],
Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-Are you saying i should put him in school
> because i don't have the money to pay someone?-=-
>
> No.
> But if there really isn't someone at home to do things with a child,
> then school's an option. If a family really can't afford to make
> life interesting enough to make unschooling work, would school be
> better?
>
> I want to encourage people to make their children's lives better than
> school would. Not to say "school sucks and anything is better than
> school." That's a cop-out, and it also scared kids so much that if
> the time or circumstances require that a child goes to school, that
> fear might be debilitating for the kids.
>
> -=-Wouldn't a poor mom
> who's heart is into being,living,loving and learning with her child be
> better then school?--=-
>
> Probably, if she's able to keep the kids involved, attended to and
> provided for.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
diana jenner
On 10/16/07, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
family, my family's not looked like anyone else's for a long time and I find
lots of wisdom in other families that I can adapt to my individual family
dynamic.
I've never been limited by physical pain, though my bouts with depression
were soulfully painful and I've struggled to meet the needs of my kids. What
I held dear and near is the Agreement (The Four Agreements) to *Always do
your best* ~ when I only had 15% energy to give, I was/am sure to give 100%
of my 15%. Some days it was more, some days it was less. I did the best I
could in the situation at hand. Not easy ~ absolutely worth every ounce of
effort, however!
Accepting the assistance of other families to do the big physical stuff with
the kids is important, when you can't do it. There are lots of fun sitting
down stuff you can make fun and exciting to balance it out. (covering the
kitchen table with art supplies comes to mind...)
--
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>There *is* an ideal in every situation, though. It looks different for every
> -=-Sometimes the ideal is not possible. Sometimes you do what you
> can.-=-
>
> Of course that's true.
> Still I don't want to encourage people to settle easily for the least
> they think they can easily do.
>
> It's not worth running a list to do that.
>
>
family, my family's not looked like anyone else's for a long time and I find
lots of wisdom in other families that I can adapt to my individual family
dynamic.
I've never been limited by physical pain, though my bouts with depression
were soulfully painful and I've struggled to meet the needs of my kids. What
I held dear and near is the Agreement (The Four Agreements) to *Always do
your best* ~ when I only had 15% energy to give, I was/am sure to give 100%
of my 15%. Some days it was more, some days it was less. I did the best I
could in the situation at hand. Not easy ~ absolutely worth every ounce of
effort, however!
Accepting the assistance of other families to do the big physical stuff with
the kids is important, when you can't do it. There are lots of fun sitting
down stuff you can make fun and exciting to balance it out. (covering the
kitchen table with art supplies comes to mind...)
--
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
As a parent with one child in public school (alternative charter) and another unschooling, I say public school can be very expensive. I guess my problem is that I still consider myself fully responsible for my child's education, even though she spends her day at school. We still do everything that we would have done had she been at home and unschooling, plus I have to pay for before school child care (as I have to be at work before she does) and meals, both cost me about $200 a month, which is fairly cheap. I don't qualify for anything cheaper, because I make some money. And because I am at work, I often am paying a homeschooling family to pick up and drive my other daughter to events.
This is just as it is. I'm not complaining, I am happy with where my child is, in school, and I'm happy with Alexx unschooling, and I think we are doing very well, considering. As the girls get older, we'll do things a bit differently. But I do think that it's hard for others, who have two parents in the house, to understand how those who have to do things a bit differently (single parents, a parent with a chronic illness, etc.). We do the best we can.
Joylyn
---- Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
This is just as it is. I'm not complaining, I am happy with where my child is, in school, and I'm happy with Alexx unschooling, and I think we are doing very well, considering. As the girls get older, we'll do things a bit differently. But I do think that it's hard for others, who have two parents in the house, to understand how those who have to do things a bit differently (single parents, a parent with a chronic illness, etc.). We do the best we can.
Joylyn
---- Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
> -=-School is not free. Parents have to buy supplies,pay for field
> trips,lunch...ect.--=-
>
> You can apply for exemptions, on lunch especially. You can request
> assistance for supplies from private agencies (sometimes government;
> depends where you are).
>
> Unschooling is bound to cost more than having kids in public school.
> Less than private school, probably, but more than public school.
>
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
halfshadow1
Sandra, Would you make a list here of all the unschooling expenses?
thanks.--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
wrote:
thanks.--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
wrote:
>
> -=-School is not free. Parents have to buy supplies,pay for field
> trips,lunch...ect.--=-
>
> You can apply for exemptions, on lunch especially. You can request
> assistance for supplies from private agencies (sometimes government;
> depends where you are).
>
> Unschooling is bound to cost more than having kids in public school.
> Less than private school, probably, but more than public school.
>
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-Sandra, Would you make a list here of all the unschooling expenses?
thanks.---=-
I have no idea what you already own and what your resources are.
If anyone thinks they might not be providing enough, maybe they
should listen to that doubt.
If anyone thinks unschooling means doing nothing with nothing, that's
wrong.
If you're fine and doing well and you're confident, that's great!
If you're not, people on this list can help you get other ideas.
You could read here and figure out what you might want to consider
providing if you don't already have it:
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling
http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/
http://learninginfreedom.com/
http://www.livingjoyfully.ca/
All of those have links to other sites. Joyce's has a link now to a
list dealing with (in part) single-parent families, and other
exceptional situations. There might be ideas there, too.
No one can give you a list of things you "have to" buy or do or see
or hear, or tell you you're doing enough. Unschooling is something
you need to learn on your own (people here try to help all the time),
and understand well enough to do it on your own in your own way.
Asking us to tell you "Yes you can be a good unschooling mom no
matter what" doesn't help with understanding it. We're here to look
at how to make it better, not to say "good enough--don't do any more
than you're doing."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
thanks.---=-
I have no idea what you already own and what your resources are.
If anyone thinks they might not be providing enough, maybe they
should listen to that doubt.
If anyone thinks unschooling means doing nothing with nothing, that's
wrong.
If you're fine and doing well and you're confident, that's great!
If you're not, people on this list can help you get other ideas.
You could read here and figure out what you might want to consider
providing if you don't already have it:
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling
http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/
http://learninginfreedom.com/
http://www.livingjoyfully.ca/
All of those have links to other sites. Joyce's has a link now to a
list dealing with (in part) single-parent families, and other
exceptional situations. There might be ideas there, too.
No one can give you a list of things you "have to" buy or do or see
or hear, or tell you you're doing enough. Unschooling is something
you need to learn on your own (people here try to help all the time),
and understand well enough to do it on your own in your own way.
Asking us to tell you "Yes you can be a good unschooling mom no
matter what" doesn't help with understanding it. We're here to look
at how to make it better, not to say "good enough--don't do any more
than you're doing."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lisa
Chronic pain sucks. - it changes *everything*. I used to have
sciatica, I also used to have chronic fatigue and myofascial pain
syndrome. Please look into the guaifenesin treatment as outlined
here: http://fibromyalgiatreatment.com/ even if you don't think you
have fibromyalgia. I never have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia but
the treatment has gotten almost completely rid of my chronic pain and
my fatigue. My mother has multiple chemical sensitivity and chronic
fatigue and the protocol is helping her too. Just look into it! I
want to shout it from the rooftops it has helped me so much! And
once you get just a little better going places will be fun! Lisa
sciatica, I also used to have chronic fatigue and myofascial pain
syndrome. Please look into the guaifenesin treatment as outlined
here: http://fibromyalgiatreatment.com/ even if you don't think you
have fibromyalgia. I never have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia but
the treatment has gotten almost completely rid of my chronic pain and
my fatigue. My mother has multiple chemical sensitivity and chronic
fatigue and the protocol is helping her too. Just look into it! I
want to shout it from the rooftops it has helped me so much! And
once you get just a little better going places will be fun! Lisa
Joyce Fetteroll
On Oct 16, 2007, at 11:34 PM, <joylyn1@...>
<joylyn1@...> wrote:
It's not a matter of not understanding. Obviously families with two
parents will give suggestions they're familiar with.
The principles work the same regardless. The principles of seeing
family money as money for the whole family is the same whether
there's $100 left after the rent is paid or $2. The principles of
giving 100% is the same whether you have 100% of your peak energy or,
as Diana said, 16%.
Just because there isn't money, that doesn't mean there aren't ways
to get things. Barter and trade have been around since before money
was invented. :-)
We try to help people see the principles. Examples of how we've
managed to implement the principles help most people understand the
principles better. But just because we can't give examples that you
can relate to doesn't mean the principles don't work or that there
isn't a solution. People who look at what they have and how they can
work with it find the ways quicker (and are happier) than those who
look at what they don't have. That sounds harsh but it's true for
everyone, regardless of how fortunate someone feels someone else must
be. It's not easy! It's a *choice* to focus on the positive -- a
choice one often needs to remember to make repeatedly -- because the
alternative gets in the way of moving toward something better. Rather
than "No, that won't work," a more idea generating response is "How
have people found that to work on a limited budget?"
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
<joylyn1@...> wrote:
> But I do think that it's hard for others, who have two parents inAs should everyone.
> the house, to understand how those who have to do things a bit
> differently (single parents, a parent with a chronic illness,
> etc.). We do the best we can.
It's not a matter of not understanding. Obviously families with two
parents will give suggestions they're familiar with.
The principles work the same regardless. The principles of seeing
family money as money for the whole family is the same whether
there's $100 left after the rent is paid or $2. The principles of
giving 100% is the same whether you have 100% of your peak energy or,
as Diana said, 16%.
Just because there isn't money, that doesn't mean there aren't ways
to get things. Barter and trade have been around since before money
was invented. :-)
We try to help people see the principles. Examples of how we've
managed to implement the principles help most people understand the
principles better. But just because we can't give examples that you
can relate to doesn't mean the principles don't work or that there
isn't a solution. People who look at what they have and how they can
work with it find the ways quicker (and are happier) than those who
look at what they don't have. That sounds harsh but it's true for
everyone, regardless of how fortunate someone feels someone else must
be. It's not easy! It's a *choice* to focus on the positive -- a
choice one often needs to remember to make repeatedly -- because the
alternative gets in the way of moving toward something better. Rather
than "No, that won't work," a more idea generating response is "How
have people found that to work on a limited budget?"
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
I went to find a place to keep Joyce's response, and settled on
putting it on the nest page
http://sandradodd.com/nest
It might be useful to some to look at some of the other pages I
considered.
The reason for these kind of prescriptive lists, sometimes, is so
that the discussion doesn't have to run through every idea every
time, because many of these topics have been discussed several times
before, and the good parts have been saved.
sandradodd.com/haveto
sandradodd.com/change
http://sandradodd.com/joyce/logic
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
putting it on the nest page
http://sandradodd.com/nest
It might be useful to some to look at some of the other pages I
considered.
The reason for these kind of prescriptive lists, sometimes, is so
that the discussion doesn't have to run through every idea every
time, because many of these topics have been discussed several times
before, and the good parts have been saved.
sandradodd.com/haveto
sandradodd.com/change
http://sandradodd.com/joyce/logic
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
Sorry about the links not being all there.
http://sandradodd.com/haveto
http://sandradodd.com/change
http://sandradodd.com/joyce/logic
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
http://sandradodd.com/haveto
http://sandradodd.com/change
http://sandradodd.com/joyce/logic
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kaikade
> > But I do think that it's hard for others, who have two parentsin the house, to understand how those who have to do things a bit
differently (single parents, a parent with a chronic illness, etc.).
We do the best we can.
>two parents will give suggestions they're familiar with.
> As should everyone.
>
> It's not a matter of not understanding. Obviously families with
>family money as money for the whole family is the same whether
> The principles work the same regardless. The principles of seeing
there's $100 left after the rent is paid or $2. The principles of
giving 100% is the same whether you have 100% of your peak energy
or, as Diana said, 16%.
==========================
As a person with chronic pain, it is possible to unschool. Set up
win/win situations. Be creative and interactive with your kids all
the way. Warp the examples to what you can do - and still have the
principles there. I created stacks of stuff in each place I would
likely have to spend the most time. There were games, art stuff,
books, blankes light enough to make forts or ghosts or whatever,
I've even played Star Wars while sitting. It's all possible if you
keep the dialog going and the kids know where you are. They will
flourish with the concentrated attention you give them. Use your
energy efficiently. I used to have piles set around so that when I
went toward one room I'd have 6 or 7 things to take that direction.
Eventually everything got done. Ask for help when you need it and
keep on communicating with your support network.
==========================
But just because we can't give examples that you
> can relate to doesn't mean the principles don't work or thatthere
> isn't a solution. People who look at what they have and how theycan
> work with it find the ways quicker (and are happier) than thosewho
> look at what they don't have. That sounds harsh but it's true formust
> everyone, regardless of how fortunate someone feels someone else
> be. It's not easy! It's a *choice* to focus on the positive -- athe
> choice one often needs to remember to make repeatedly -- because
> alternative gets in the way of moving toward something better.Rather
> than "No, that won't work," a more idea generating responseis "How
> have people found that to work on a limited budget?"============================
>
> Joyce
Joyce is so right on here. It's really, really challenging at
times, but possible. Keep on brainstorming and asking the kids to
brainstorm too. They can come up with things you hadn't thought of.
I'm hoping to get a round table talk about this very topic at Life
is Good. Anyone interested in helping out, please email me off list.
Ginger
jenstarc4
>ooo, I'm glad you put it in nest. I was just thinking that it
> I went to find a place to keep Joyce's response, and settled on
> putting it on the nest page
> http://sandradodd.com/nest
>
completely correlated to the idea of making a nest. Unschooling in
less than ideal situations can work, if you work really hard at
building that nest.
Making a life for your children that is the most free and most
comfortable and most enriching that you can make it is always the best
direction to head, regardless of what situation a family finds
themselves in.
jenstarc4
It's not easy! It's a *choice* to focus on the positive -- a
in really late. We've gotten on this really late schedule, which isn't
such a bad thing, but by the time we want to go and do things, it's
dark and things are closing.
So, the last few mornings, as I've woken up really late, I said to
myself, "focus on the beauty that the day yet holds, rather than on
what I may or may not have missed.". It's really helped me stay in a
positive frame of mind, and thusly my kids feel that way too.
I don't want to get stuck into feeling like I've wasted a day sleeping,
the idea of wasting time bothers me anyway. I can choose to use it any
way I want, and I want to use it happily and productively, even if my
day starts late and ends late. My kids feel my attitude and reflect in
accordingly.
> choice one often needs to remember to make repeatedly -- because theVery true! As I got up this morning I was upset because we all slept
> alternative gets in the way of moving toward something better.
in really late. We've gotten on this really late schedule, which isn't
such a bad thing, but by the time we want to go and do things, it's
dark and things are closing.
So, the last few mornings, as I've woken up really late, I said to
myself, "focus on the beauty that the day yet holds, rather than on
what I may or may not have missed.". It's really helped me stay in a
positive frame of mind, and thusly my kids feel that way too.
I don't want to get stuck into feeling like I've wasted a day sleeping,
the idea of wasting time bothers me anyway. I can choose to use it any
way I want, and I want to use it happily and productively, even if my
day starts late and ends late. My kids feel my attitude and reflect in
accordingly.
jenstarc4
>One thing that I've counted as an unschooling expense is gas for my car
> Sandra, Would you make a list here of all the unschooling expenses?
> thanks
to get us places that we want to go. Allowances for the kids to use
and spend on things they want while out. Basically everything that my
kids find valuable that we can afford.
halfshadow1
My son and I go to sleep around 2am and we wake between 11am and
noon.Sometimes i'm not tired until 4am. I know what your saying about
feeling like the day is gone. --- In [email protected],
"jenstarc4" <jenstarc4@...> wrote:
noon.Sometimes i'm not tired until 4am. I know what your saying about
feeling like the day is gone. --- In [email protected],
"jenstarc4" <jenstarc4@...> wrote:
>
> It's not easy! It's a *choice* to focus on the positive -- a
> > choice one often needs to remember to make repeatedly -- because the
> > alternative gets in the way of moving toward something better.
>
> Very true! As I got up this morning I was upset because we all slept
> in really late. We've gotten on this really late schedule, which isn't
> such a bad thing, but by the time we want to go and do things, it's
> dark and things are closing.
>
> So, the last few mornings, as I've woken up really late, I said to
> myself, "focus on the beauty that the day yet holds, rather than on
> what I may or may not have missed.". It's really helped me stay in a
> positive frame of mind, and thusly my kids feel that way too.
>
> I don't want to get stuck into feeling like I've wasted a day sleeping,
> the idea of wasting time bothers me anyway. I can choose to use it any
> way I want, and I want to use it happily and productively, even if my
> day starts late and ends late. My kids feel my attitude and reflect in
> accordingly.
>
Sandra Dodd
I'm working on my webpages, and found something two years old that I
never put in public (though it started out in public, but y'know...
two years ago, and not on this list). It's by Deb Lewis. It's not a
bang-on match for this topic, but there is an aspect that might be
helpful.
=====================================
***Because im still not convinced.***
What made you consider unschooling? Why did you decide against school?
It's not our job to convince you of anything. We offer ideas to people
who are interested in how unschooling works. But if you think there
is something of value in this philosophy then it's up to you to do
the research *you* require to be convinced either way. To either say,
yes there's something here or no, it's not for me. We can answer
questions along the way.
***Because some just watch TV. End. Then just play video games.
Period. No tangents. No inspired learning. No pursuits, no follow up.
No questions. No discussions. ***
I've asked you before and I think others have too, tell us what your kid
likes.
Really, it helps some people to focus on the positive. Because I really
get from your posts that you're very negative. Maybe you're not in real
life, but the way these posts come through you're showing us a lot of
negativity about your kid.
I don't mean to be harsh. I think it's an important part of why you're
struggling with some of these unschooling concepts. I can't remember
the
last nice thing you wrote about your child.
It's not always easy to stay positive when we're worried (especially
about our kids) but we can't help you with the worry if you're stuck in
a moment you can't get out of. (Plagiarism!<g>) (Thank you Bono)
Please tell us what your kid likes to do, what does he consider to be
themost fun, what does he like to eat, what does he think about? It
will
help, I promise.
I will bet you quantities of cash that there are untold connections in
your child's mind when he's watching his favorite shows and playing his
favorite games. Just because an interest doesn't take off and take
tangible form doesn't mean it's not real. Just because you're not
seeing a physical manifestation of his intellectual life doesn't mean
there's
nothing going on.
***And all the cool stuff your kids did only makes me feel that much
more frustrated.***
Your son is nine? I think we start comparing our kids to other kids
about this age, some before, but really about this age because they seem
so big in so many ways. We're saying goodbye to our babies and we're
looking for our grown kids and missing this incredible person in
between. And it can be, for the child, a difficult time when the
most beloved
toys and games of childhood are losing their appeal and the very cool
stuff of the world of adults still seems too hard and too far away.
What kinds of things do you do with him? What do you talk about? What
are some of *your* interests and how do they manifest themselves in your
family life? What example do you set for your child? Do you love life
or are you bored? Do you love to learn or are you dispassionate? When
you see a bug do you wonder what it is or do you squish it? These are
all things to consider when we're wondering whether we're providing the
most interesting life possible for our kids. It starts with us.
Deb Lewis
never put in public (though it started out in public, but y'know...
two years ago, and not on this list). It's by Deb Lewis. It's not a
bang-on match for this topic, but there is an aspect that might be
helpful.
=====================================
***Because im still not convinced.***
What made you consider unschooling? Why did you decide against school?
It's not our job to convince you of anything. We offer ideas to people
who are interested in how unschooling works. But if you think there
is something of value in this philosophy then it's up to you to do
the research *you* require to be convinced either way. To either say,
yes there's something here or no, it's not for me. We can answer
questions along the way.
***Because some just watch TV. End. Then just play video games.
Period. No tangents. No inspired learning. No pursuits, no follow up.
No questions. No discussions. ***
I've asked you before and I think others have too, tell us what your kid
likes.
Really, it helps some people to focus on the positive. Because I really
get from your posts that you're very negative. Maybe you're not in real
life, but the way these posts come through you're showing us a lot of
negativity about your kid.
I don't mean to be harsh. I think it's an important part of why you're
struggling with some of these unschooling concepts. I can't remember
the
last nice thing you wrote about your child.
It's not always easy to stay positive when we're worried (especially
about our kids) but we can't help you with the worry if you're stuck in
a moment you can't get out of. (Plagiarism!<g>) (Thank you Bono)
Please tell us what your kid likes to do, what does he consider to be
themost fun, what does he like to eat, what does he think about? It
will
help, I promise.
I will bet you quantities of cash that there are untold connections in
your child's mind when he's watching his favorite shows and playing his
favorite games. Just because an interest doesn't take off and take
tangible form doesn't mean it's not real. Just because you're not
seeing a physical manifestation of his intellectual life doesn't mean
there's
nothing going on.
***And all the cool stuff your kids did only makes me feel that much
more frustrated.***
Your son is nine? I think we start comparing our kids to other kids
about this age, some before, but really about this age because they seem
so big in so many ways. We're saying goodbye to our babies and we're
looking for our grown kids and missing this incredible person in
between. And it can be, for the child, a difficult time when the
most beloved
toys and games of childhood are losing their appeal and the very cool
stuff of the world of adults still seems too hard and too far away.
What kinds of things do you do with him? What do you talk about? What
are some of *your* interests and how do they manifest themselves in your
family life? What example do you set for your child? Do you love life
or are you bored? Do you love to learn or are you dispassionate? When
you see a bug do you wonder what it is or do you squish it? These are
all things to consider when we're wondering whether we're providing the
most interesting life possible for our kids. It starts with us.
Deb Lewis