Julie Ratliff

Thank you everyone for the ideas and encouragement. I talked with Natalie today and found out the problem is that she does not want to take the time to put on clean clothes. She does not want to stop doing what she is doing to go change. I talked about how people might think I was not taking care of her if she walks around in dirty clothes outside the house and she understood. I am working on different ways to make the transition easier....when she is done with one thing, but before moving on to the next....telling her we will pause the game or movie or whatever we were doing. We will see how it goes. Thanks again
Julie

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Sandra Dodd

I didn't want to come across like someone who thought someone
touching herself/himself because it felt good was immoral or
illegal. It probably is illegal in public, but I didn't go on to say
"but in private..."

I would tell a child who said "It feels good" that what one does in
privacy, alone, in the bed, in the bathroom, is a whole different
deal from what one does in public places or in front of other
people. And it's simple to say "illegal" or "offensive." In very
many cases that's the simple truth.

Sandra

Erica Iwamura

Maybe a closet organizer with a few slots in it and an outfit in each spot
so she doesn't have to look for an outfit.. its already there and ready for
her.

Erica

On 6/25/07, Julie Ratliff <JULIERATLIFF@...> wrote:
>
> Thank you everyone for the ideas and encouragement. I talked with
> Natalie today and found out the problem is that she does not want to take
> the time to put on clean clothes. She does not want to stop doing what she
> is doing to go change. I talked about how people might think I was not
> taking care of her if she walks around in dirty clothes outside the house
> and she understood. I am working on different ways to make the transition
> easier....when she is done with one thing, but before moving on to the
> next....telling her we will pause the game or movie or whatever we were
> doing. We will see how it goes. Thanks again
> Julie
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>



--
They say I'm Crazy but I Have a Good Time - Joe Walsh


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Amy

Thank you for this discussion. I have been having this problem with
my 4 year old girl. I am trying really hard to not shame her, but I
do have a big reaction. For me, I think I have trouble because I
don't know how much of it bothers me because she was molested almost
a year ago and how much is just me being a very "normal" bothered
because it's inappropriate. I tell her that it's her body, but she
can't play with herself in front of anybody. I tell her that in
private it's fine. It's hard to know if saying something is private
is shaming or not. Child molesters sometimes say things like 'let's
keep this private' and such. I really don't know how strong my
reaction comes across to her, when she touches herself I am overcome
with grief over what happened to her. It's hard not to think that
one is related to the other. It's good to read that it's fairly
normal and that it's good to have a fairly normal "that's
innapropriate" reaction.
I don't want to teach her that bodies are bad in anyway. Well, this
is pretty choppy writing, but it's so emotionally charged that I have
some trouble with it. So, thanks for all the posts. It has helped
me a lot.


~Amy


--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> I didn't want to come across like someone who thought someone
> touching herself/himself because it felt good was immoral or
> illegal. It probably is illegal in public, but I didn't go on to
say
> "but in private..."
>
> I would tell a child who said "It feels good" that what one does
in
> privacy, alone, in the bed, in the bathroom, is a whole different
> deal from what one does in public places or in front of other
> people. And it's simple to say "illegal" or "offensive." In very
> many cases that's the simple truth.
>
> Sandra
>

Sandra Dodd

-=-. I tell her that in
private it's fine. It's hard to know if saying something is private
is shaming or not. Child molesters sometimes say things like 'let's
keep this private' and such. -=-

Maybe say "by yourself" then instead of "private."
Or "When you're alone."

Sandra

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