carrie nieto

Sandra and everyone else who replied to me - i think you're amazing. Thanks to your beautiful, simple suggestions and directions to websites i spent the most amazing evening with my daughter! I didn't realise that for a long time now I've been angry with her (but actually angry with myself) because I didn't know where my gorgeous girl had gone (I was actually angry because my dd was angry and I couldn't work out why). She came back from her friends across the road last night and i sat with her while she scoffed down her dinner and said "Stella, listen to me" and then I thought, no, hang on and I changed tack and said, "no, actually, let's have a chat" (I used to talk to her like that when she was 3 and got so carried away by the enormous stresses our family has been under that along the way that got lost and now it's back thanks to you! anyway cutting a long story short, I suggested that instead of going back to school what if we just did fun things together and she
said "like what" and I suggested going to a museum and she GOT REALLY EXCITED something she hasn't done in ages (except for buying my little pony and then getting bored because I didn't play with it with her) and then i suggested going to sit in a field and she said "yes, and we could go and sit with the cows and then we could play mummies and daddies!

After that lovely conversation Stella offered to take care of me because I had an enormous headache and she got a wet towel for my head and sliced up some cucumber to put on my eyes and then put water on my hair and played hairdresser and we were having a really good laugh together and my headache actually went away! Then we watched lilo and stitch TOGETHER (admittedly while the baby was a sleep for a long time which isn't normal but anyway) it was amazing and I've got my daughter back and she's got me back and we went to sleep in peace. no guilt on my part, no anger on her part, only genuine contentment!

So this morning we are going into Dublin to the natural history museum on the train (and just getting the groceries on the way) and taking our time - THANK YOU Sandra and all you lovely unschoolers for your commitment to your children and your reminder to me to commit to unschooling, you enabled me to rediscover my dd and i'm so relieved that she's still there - amazing!

I'm going to keep coming back for suggestions to this lovely group! have to run as baby waking up! xxx carrie


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Sandra Dodd

-=-After that lovely conversation Stella offered to take care of me
because I had an enormous headache and she got a wet towel for my
head and sliced up some cucumber to put on my eyes and then put water
on my hair and played hairdresser and we were having a really good
laugh together and my headache actually went away! -=-

Wonderful story. Thank you.

Very often it seems when I get tense I'm holding my breath, either
literally or figuratively or both. And it CAN cause a headache, and
bone aches, and other fears. And then when I really come back into
the moment, and look at my husband, my kids, in the softest possible
way, and feel how I'm feeling and relax that, I feel AMAZINGLY better
immediately. But still, somehow, I can forget that and gather up
some little batch of tension involving guilt or procrastination or
avoidance or irritation with vague situations, and it starts to build
up again.

Knowing that I know how to undo it helps.

I'm glad your daughter jumped at the opportunties.

Success makes each next decision easier.

Sandra

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Sandra Dodd

I was going to deposit a Tennyson quote on an SCA page (unrelated to
unschooling, I vaguely thought), and found this, my own writing,
earlier this year:


Part of self awareness is to be physically self aware.
I've gotten better over the years.

When I was younger I lived too much in my head and would look through
the lens of what should be, or could be, or might be, instead of
stopping for two seconds to consider what actually, at that moment,
was. If I'm not careful I can be cranky before I know I'm tired, and
head-achy before I know I'm hungry.

Now, while I'm taking stock of how and where I am, I take a deep
breath while I'm considering it, and that one deep breath leads to
another one, and no matter where I started, I'm better already.



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Huh.

Almost what I just wrote here today!



Sandra

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