Krisula Moyer

Sorry this post went out without a subject line. Here it is again.

Anika, my 6yo dd is a daisy scout. I am the troop leader. The troop has
been together for just over a year and I am getting ready to bridge them to
Brownies. All is not well, however, in Daisy land. Anika really wants this
group but she is frustrated with the format. Wants more free play and less
crafts and meeting stuff. The problem is when she feels frustrated she
whines, yells, and acts in ways that bring the meetings to a screaming halt.

Ani is loud when she is playing but mostly when she does not like the way
the meeting is going. Some of the other girls' mothers have told me that
this frightens their daughters. and although I could see this when they had
just met, My take is that they are annoyed with her and frustrated rather
than frightened. If I give her verbal guidance, no matter how gentle, in
the moment, she will shout something like, I don't care! Now, I know she
does care about having friendships with these girls. She was nearly in
tears about it last week.

The other moms are about fed up with the disruptions. They are mostly very
nice. They are all very schooly and have recently asked that we impliment
"consequences" and "discipline". I am afraid the actual consequence of not
fixing this problem will be that we won't have a troop next year because no
one will sign up again. I just hate that it has gotten to the point where
my dd is being viewed as "the problem". These girls are only 6. Surely
part of the experience is to help them with just these kinds of
interpersonal issues.

Any ideas would be welcome.

Krisula


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Angela Shaw

If it is your troop, can you not allow for more free play?



Angela Shaw

<mailto:game-enthusiast@...> game-enthusiast@...



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

plaidpanties666

--- In [email protected], "Krisula Moyer" <krisula@...>
wrote:
>>> The other moms are about fed up with the disruptions. They are
mostly very
> nice. They are all very schooly and have recently asked that we
impliment
> "consequences" and "discipline". I am afraid the actual
consequence of not
> fixing this problem will be that we won't have a troop next year
because no
> one will sign up again.

Is it possible for another mom to take over the troop so you can be
more focussed on your dd? It seems unfair to your dd that you are
focussing so much energy on these other kids when she is - quite
literally - screaming for your attention. If you were free to
facilitate her needs you could take her outside or help her play in
other ways that allow her to be with the group but not necessarily
doing the same things as everyone else.

Both my dd and my stepson have always needed a bit of help dealing
with group activities and events. When my stepson was small (we,
sadly, didn't know about unschooling, then) we would get very
frustrated when other people weren't tolerant of his boisterousness -
I understand that feeling! It took us far too long to figure out
that a whole lot of his disruptive behavior was due to the fact that
we were shoving his needs aside. Once we started to prioritize his
needs we found social situations went a lot more smoothly for
everyone.

> Some of the other girls' mothers have told me that
> this frightens their daughters. and although I could see this
when they had
> just met, My take is that they are annoyed with her and frustrated
rather
> than frightened.

I wouldn't be so quick to discount the idea that the other kids are
frightened, especially if your dd is very loud. Loud noises can be
scary. Loud people-noises may be associated with angry adults for
some of these girls, too - that's a pretty scary association.

But even if they are "just" annoyed and frustrated, as the troop
leader you have a responsibility to create a peaceful environment
for these girls. Its unkind to allow one girl in the group to be so
distraught as to "bring the meetings to a screaming halt."

Talk to the other moms and see if one or more would be interested in
facilitating the group activities so that you can help your dd.

---Meredith (Mo 5, Ray 13)

jenstarc4

--- In [email protected], "Krisula Moyer" <krisula@...>
wrote:
>
> Sorry this post went out without a subject line. Here it is again.
>
> Anika, my 6yo dd is a daisy scout. I am the troop leader. The
troop has
> been together for just over a year and I am getting ready to bridge
them to
> Brownies. All is not well, however, in Daisy land. Anika really
wants this
> group but she is frustrated with the format. Wants more free play
and less
> crafts and meeting stuff. The problem is when she feels frustrated
she
> whines, yells, and acts in ways that bring the meetings to a
screaming halt.

When this happens what do you do? I have been a daisy leader and a
brownie leader both at the same time even, with a mixed age group.
Whenever we've had problems in our group with any of the kids, mine
or my co-leader's or anyone else, we do stop and regroup and work it
out. We go back to the GS laws and work on those things that
surface. No girl is going to be happy 100% of the time in every
meeting. The key with our troop is to work together as a team and
help each girl feel comfortable and accepted and as happy as
possible. So, if one child is really uncomfortable, the other girls
can use their creative problem solving skills to help their friend in
need. "Be a sister to every girl scout" Those laws are set in place
for a reason. Use them when you need to, talk about it. Scouts is
not about doing crafts and projects as much as it is about personal
growth and teamwork, especially at the daisy/early brownie age. The
parents should know that too, if they are expecting something
different.

We also build in free play for our meetings. Daisy girls really
can't handle more than 30 min of sit down focus type work, some can't
even handle that, and there should be built in options for those that
can't. We have play time EVERY week when we meet, sometimes it's
stuff like freeze dance or other active GS games (and there are lots
of them in the GS handbooks) and sometimes we have the girls bring
dress up clothes or sometimes we bring cardboard boxes or things to
build forts and do pretend play. Sometimes we set actual meeting
time to do nothing but play at a park, for a break from doing
structured GS work, we all meet somewhere with a picnic lunch and let
the kids play.

We let the girls have loud times and quiet times. I don't know what
your parents are expecting, but you are a volunteer guiding the kids
through a scouting experience. When girls signed up for our troop,
we made it absolutely clear that we were not structured and that our
focus was on fun, play, and getting along, with a bonus of doing some
GS stuff. Within our GS stuff, we also work on Roots and Shoots, so
going to parks and stuff is totally part of the deal. We also
involve the parents as much as possible, we delegate stuff for them
to bring or do for meetings. We make is as mandatory as possible for
the parents to be there and present with the child. I know other
troops aren't like that, but we made ours like that, because we
didn't want to be a drop off babysitting service like some troops are.

I don't know if anything I'm saying will help your troop or not. I
do know that we've had people leave our troop because it wasn't
structured enough, and good riddance as far as I'm concerned. All
you need is 4 girls to have a troop. I'd rather have 4 really nice
girls that all get along than a large troop that clashes or causes my
child to feel insecure.

jenstarc4

--- In [email protected], "Krisula Moyer" <krisula@...>
wrote:
>
> Sorry this post went out without a subject line. Here it is again.
>
> Anika, my 6yo dd is a daisy scout. I am the troop leader. The
troop has
> been together for just over a year and I am getting ready to bridge
them to
> Brownies. All is not well, however, in Daisy land. Anika really
wants this
> group but she is frustrated with the format. Wants more free play
and less
> crafts and meeting stuff. The problem is when she feels frustrated
she
> whines, yells, and acts in ways that bring the meetings to a
screaming halt.

When this happens what do you do? I have been a daisy leader and a
brownie leader both at the same time even, with a mixed age group.
Whenever we've had problems in our group with any of the kids, mine
or my co-leader's or anyone else, we do stop and regroup and work it
out. We go back to the GS laws and work on those things that
surface. No girl is going to be happy 100% of the time in every
meeting. The key with our troop is to work together as a team and
help each girl feel comfortable and accepted and as happy as
possible. So, if one child is really uncomfortable, the other girls
can use their creative problem solving skills to help their friend in
need. "Be a sister to every girl scout" Those laws are set in place
for a reason. Use them when you need to, talk about it. Scouts is
not about doing crafts and projects as much as it is about personal
growth and teamwork, especially at the daisy/early brownie age. The
parents should know that too, if they are expecting something
different.

We also build in free play for our meetings. Daisy girls really
can't handle more than 30 min of sit down focus type work, some can't
even handle that, and there should be built in options for those that
can't. We have play time EVERY week when we meet, sometimes it's
stuff like freeze dance or other active GS games (and there are lots
of them in the GS handbooks) and sometimes we have the girls bring
dress up clothes or sometimes we bring cardboard boxes or things to
build forts and do pretend play. Sometimes we set actual meeting
time to do nothing but play at a park, for a break from doing
structured GS work, we all meet somewhere with a picnic lunch and let
the kids play.

We let the girls have loud times and quiet times. I don't know what
your parents are expecting, but you are a volunteer guiding the kids
through a scouting experience. When girls signed up for our troop,
we made it absolutely clear that we were not structured and that our
focus was on fun, play, and getting along, with a bonus of doing some
GS stuff. Within our GS stuff, we also work on Roots and Shoots, so
going to parks and stuff is totally part of the deal. We also
involve the parents as much as possible, we delegate stuff for them
to bring or do for meetings. We make is as mandatory as possible for
the parents to be there and present with the child. I know other
troops aren't like that, but we made ours like that, because we
didn't want to be a drop off babysitting service like some troops are.

I don't know if anything I'm saying will help your troop or not. I
do know that we've had people leave our troop because it wasn't
structured enough, and good riddance as far as I'm concerned. All
you need is 4 girls to have a troop. I'd rather have 4 really nice
girls that all get along than a large troop that clashes or causes my
child to feel insecure.

jenstarc4

--- In [email protected], "Krisula Moyer" <krisula@...>
wrote:
>
> Sorry this post went out without a subject line. Here it is again.
>
> Anika, my 6yo dd is a daisy scout. I am the troop leader. The
troop has
> been together for just over a year and I am getting ready to bridge
them to
> Brownies. All is not well, however, in Daisy land. Anika really
wants this
> group but she is frustrated with the format. Wants more free play
and less
> crafts and meeting stuff. The problem is when she feels frustrated
she
> whines, yells, and acts in ways that bring the meetings to a
screaming halt.

When this happens what do you do? I have been a daisy leader and a
brownie leader both at the same time even, with a mixed age group.
Whenever we've had problems in our group with any of the kids, mine
or my co-leader's or anyone else, we do stop and regroup and work it
out. We go back to the GS laws and work on those things that
surface. No girl is going to be happy 100% of the time in every
meeting. The key with our troop is to work together as a team and
help each girl feel comfortable and accepted and as happy as
possible. So, if one child is really uncomfortable, the other girls
can use their creative problem solving skills to help their friend in
need. "Be a sister to every girl scout" Those laws are set in place
for a reason. Use them when you need to, talk about it. Scouts is
not about doing crafts and projects as much as it is about personal
growth and teamwork, especially at the daisy/early brownie age. The
parents should know that too, if they are expecting something
different.

We also build in free play for our meetings. Daisy girls really
can't handle more than 30 min of sit down focus type work, some can't
even handle that, and there should be built in options for those that
can't. We have play time EVERY week when we meet, sometimes it's
stuff like freeze dance or other active GS games (and there are lots
of them in the GS handbooks) and sometimes we have the girls bring
dress up clothes or sometimes we bring cardboard boxes or things to
build forts and do pretend play. Sometimes we set actual meeting
time to do nothing but play at a park, for a break from doing
structured GS work, we all meet somewhere with a picnic lunch and let
the kids play.

We let the girls have loud times and quiet times. I don't know what
your parents are expecting, but you are a volunteer guiding the kids
through a scouting experience. When girls signed up for our troop,
we made it absolutely clear that we were not structured and that our
focus was on fun, play, and getting along, with a bonus of doing some
GS stuff. Within our GS stuff, we also work on Roots and Shoots, so
going to parks and stuff is totally part of the deal. We also
involve the parents as much as possible, we delegate stuff for them
to bring or do for meetings. We make is as mandatory as possible for
the parents to be there and present with the child. I know other
troops aren't like that, but we made ours like that, because we
didn't want to be a drop off babysitting service like some troops are.

I don't know if anything I'm saying will help your troop or not. I
do know that we've had people leave our troop because it wasn't
structured enough, and good riddance as far as I'm concerned. All
you need is 4 girls to have a troop. I'd rather have 4 really nice
girls that all get along than a large troop that clashes or causes my
child to feel insecure.

jenstarc4

--- In [email protected], "Krisula Moyer" <krisula@...>
wrote:
>
> Sorry this post went out without a subject line. Here it is again.
>
> Anika, my 6yo dd is a daisy scout. I am the troop leader. The
troop has
> been together for just over a year and I am getting ready to bridge
them to
> Brownies. All is not well, however, in Daisy land. Anika really
wants this
> group but she is frustrated with the format. Wants more free play
and less
> crafts and meeting stuff. The problem is when she feels frustrated
she
> whines, yells, and acts in ways that bring the meetings to a
screaming halt.

When this happens what do you do? I have been a daisy leader and a
brownie leader both at the same time even, with a mixed age group.
Whenever we've had problems in our group with any of the kids, mine
or my co-leader's or anyone else, we do stop and regroup and work it
out. We go back to the GS laws and work on those things that
surface. No girl is going to be happy 100% of the time in every
meeting. The key with our troop is to work together as a team and
help each girl feel comfortable and accepted and as happy as
possible. So, if one child is really uncomfortable, the other girls
can use their creative problem solving skills to help their friend in
need. "Be a sister to every girl scout" Those laws are set in place
for a reason. Use them when you need to, talk about it. Scouts is
not about doing crafts and projects as much as it is about personal
growth and teamwork, especially at the daisy/early brownie age. The
parents should know that too, if they are expecting something
different.

We also build in free play for our meetings. Daisy girls really
can't handle more than 30 min of sit down focus type work, some can't
even handle that, and there should be built in options for those that
can't. We have play time EVERY week when we meet, sometimes it's
stuff like freeze dance or other active GS games (and there are lots
of them in the GS handbooks) and sometimes we have the girls bring
dress up clothes or sometimes we bring cardboard boxes or things to
build forts and do pretend play. Sometimes we set actual meeting
time to do nothing but play at a park, for a break from doing
structured GS work, we all meet somewhere with a picnic lunch and let
the kids play.

We let the girls have loud times and quiet times. I don't know what
your parents are expecting, but you are a volunteer guiding the kids
through a scouting experience. When girls signed up for our troop,
we made it absolutely clear that we were not structured and that our
focus was on fun, play, and getting along, with a bonus of doing some
GS stuff. Within our GS stuff, we also work on Roots and Shoots, so
going to parks and stuff is totally part of the deal. We also
involve the parents as much as possible, we delegate stuff for them
to bring or do for meetings. We make is as mandatory as possible for
the parents to be there and present with the child. I know other
troops aren't like that, but we made ours like that, because we
didn't want to be a drop off babysitting service like some troops are.

I don't know if anything I'm saying will help your troop or not. I
do know that we've had people leave our troop because it wasn't
structured enough, and good riddance as far as I'm concerned. All
you need is 4 girls to have a troop. I'd rather have 4 really nice
girls that all get along than a large troop that clashes or causes my
child to feel insecure.

jenstarc4

--- In [email protected], "Krisula Moyer" <krisula@...>
wrote:
>
> Sorry this post went out without a subject line. Here it is again.
>
> Anika, my 6yo dd is a daisy scout. I am the troop leader. The
troop has
> been together for just over a year and I am getting ready to bridge
them to
> Brownies. All is not well, however, in Daisy land. Anika really
wants this
> group but she is frustrated with the format. Wants more free play
and less
> crafts and meeting stuff. The problem is when she feels frustrated
she
> whines, yells, and acts in ways that bring the meetings to a
screaming halt.

When this happens what do you do? I have been a daisy leader and a
brownie leader both at the same time even, with a mixed age group.
Whenever we've had problems in our group with any of the kids, mine
or my co-leader's or anyone else, we do stop and regroup and work it
out. We go back to the GS laws and work on those things that
surface. No girl is going to be happy 100% of the time in every
meeting. The key with our troop is to work together as a team and
help each girl feel comfortable and accepted and as happy as
possible. So, if one child is really uncomfortable, the other girls
can use their creative problem solving skills to help their friend in
need. "Be a sister to every girl scout" Those laws are set in place
for a reason. Use them when you need to, talk about it. Scouts is
not about doing crafts and projects as much as it is about personal
growth and teamwork, especially at the daisy/early brownie age. The
parents should know that too, if they are expecting something
different.

We also build in free play for our meetings. Daisy girls really
can't handle more than 30 min of sit down focus type work, some can't
even handle that, and there should be built in options for those that
can't. We have play time EVERY week when we meet, sometimes it's
stuff like freeze dance or other active GS games (and there are lots
of them in the GS handbooks) and sometimes we have the girls bring
dress up clothes or sometimes we bring cardboard boxes or things to
build forts and do pretend play. Sometimes we set actual meeting
time to do nothing but play at a park, for a break from doing
structured GS work, we all meet somewhere with a picnic lunch and let
the kids play.

We let the girls have loud times and quiet times. I don't know what
your parents are expecting, but you are a volunteer guiding the kids
through a scouting experience. When girls signed up for our troop,
we made it absolutely clear that we were not structured and that our
focus was on fun, play, and getting along, with a bonus of doing some
GS stuff. Within our GS stuff, we also work on Roots and Shoots, so
going to parks and stuff is totally part of the deal. We also
involve the parents as much as possible, we delegate stuff for them
to bring or do for meetings. We make is as mandatory as possible for
the parents to be there and present with the child. I know other
troops aren't like that, but we made ours like that, because we
didn't want to be a drop off babysitting service like some troops are.

I don't know if anything I'm saying will help your troop or not. I
do know that we've had people leave our troop because it wasn't
structured enough, and good riddance as far as I'm concerned. All
you need is 4 girls to have a troop. I'd rather have 4 really nice
girls that all get along than a large troop that clashes or causes my
child to feel insecure.

jenstarc4

--- In [email protected], "Krisula Moyer" <krisula@...>
wrote:
>
> Sorry this post went out without a subject line. Here it is again.
>
> Anika, my 6yo dd is a daisy scout. I am the troop leader. The
troop has
> been together for just over a year and I am getting ready to bridge
them to
> Brownies. All is not well, however, in Daisy land. Anika really
wants this
> group but she is frustrated with the format. Wants more free play
and less
> crafts and meeting stuff. The problem is when she feels frustrated
she
> whines, yells, and acts in ways that bring the meetings to a
screaming halt.

When this happens what do you do? I have been a daisy leader and a
brownie leader both at the same time even, with a mixed age group.
Whenever we've had problems in our group with any of the kids, mine
or my co-leader's or anyone else, we do stop and regroup and work it
out. We go back to the GS laws and work on those things that
surface. No girl is going to be happy 100% of the time in every
meeting. The key with our troop is to work together as a team and
help each girl feel comfortable and accepted and as happy as
possible. So, if one child is really uncomfortable, the other girls
can use their creative problem solving skills to help their friend in
need. "Be a sister to every girl scout" Those laws are set in place
for a reason. Use them when you need to, talk about it. Scouts is
not about doing crafts and projects as much as it is about personal
growth and teamwork, especially at the daisy/early brownie age. The
parents should know that too, if they are expecting something
different.

We also build in free play for our meetings. Daisy girls really
can't handle more than 30 min of sit down focus type work, some can't
even handle that, and there should be built in options for those that
can't. We have play time EVERY week when we meet, sometimes it's
stuff like freeze dance or other active GS games (and there are lots
of them in the GS handbooks) and sometimes we have the girls bring
dress up clothes or sometimes we bring cardboard boxes or things to
build forts and do pretend play. Sometimes we set actual meeting
time to do nothing but play at a park, for a break from doing
structured GS work, we all meet somewhere with a picnic lunch and let
the kids play.

We let the girls have loud times and quiet times. I don't know what
your parents are expecting, but you are a volunteer guiding the kids
through a scouting experience. When girls signed up for our troop,
we made it absolutely clear that we were not structured and that our
focus was on fun, play, and getting along, with a bonus of doing some
GS stuff. Within our GS stuff, we also work on Roots and Shoots, so
going to parks and stuff is totally part of the deal. We also
involve the parents as much as possible, we delegate stuff for them
to bring or do for meetings. We make is as mandatory as possible for
the parents to be there and present with the child. I know other
troops aren't like that, but we made ours like that, because we
didn't want to be a drop off babysitting service like some troops are.

I don't know if anything I'm saying will help your troop or not. I
do know that we've had people leave our troop because it wasn't
structured enough, and good riddance as far as I'm concerned. All
you need is 4 girls to have a troop. I'd rather have 4 really nice
girls that all get along than a large troop that clashes or causes my
child to feel insecure.

jenstarc4

--- In [email protected], "Krisula Moyer" <krisula@...>
wrote:
>
> Sorry this post went out without a subject line. Here it is again.
>
> Anika, my 6yo dd is a daisy scout. I am the troop leader. The
troop has
> been together for just over a year and I am getting ready to bridge
them to
> Brownies. All is not well, however, in Daisy land. Anika really
wants this
> group but she is frustrated with the format. Wants more free play
and less
> crafts and meeting stuff. The problem is when she feels frustrated
she
> whines, yells, and acts in ways that bring the meetings to a
screaming halt.

When this happens what do you do? I have been a daisy leader and a
brownie leader both at the same time even, with a mixed age group.
Whenever we've had problems in our group with any of the kids, mine
or my co-leader's or anyone else, we do stop and regroup and work it
out. We go back to the GS laws and work on those things that
surface. No girl is going to be happy 100% of the time in every
meeting. The key with our troop is to work together as a team and
help each girl feel comfortable and accepted and as happy as
possible. So, if one child is really uncomfortable, the other girls
can use their creative problem solving skills to help their friend in
need. "Be a sister to every girl scout" Those laws are set in place
for a reason. Use them when you need to, talk about it. Scouts is
not about doing crafts and projects as much as it is about personal
growth and teamwork, especially at the daisy/early brownie age. The
parents should know that too, if they are expecting something
different.

We also build in free play for our meetings. Daisy girls really
can't handle more than 30 min of sit down focus type work, some can't
even handle that, and there should be built in options for those that
can't. We have play time EVERY week when we meet, sometimes it's
stuff like freeze dance or other active GS games (and there are lots
of them in the GS handbooks) and sometimes we have the girls bring
dress up clothes or sometimes we bring cardboard boxes or things to
build forts and do pretend play. Sometimes we set actual meeting
time to do nothing but play at a park, for a break from doing
structured GS work, we all meet somewhere with a picnic lunch and let
the kids play.

We let the girls have loud times and quiet times. I don't know what
your parents are expecting, but you are a volunteer guiding the kids
through a scouting experience. When girls signed up for our troop,
we made it absolutely clear that we were not structured and that our
focus was on fun, play, and getting along, with a bonus of doing some
GS stuff. Within our GS stuff, we also work on Roots and Shoots, so
going to parks and stuff is totally part of the deal. We also
involve the parents as much as possible, we delegate stuff for them
to bring or do for meetings. We make is as mandatory as possible for
the parents to be there and present with the child. I know other
troops aren't like that, but we made ours like that, because we
didn't want to be a drop off babysitting service like some troops are.

I don't know if anything I'm saying will help your troop or not. I
do know that we've had people leave our troop because it wasn't
structured enough, and good riddance as far as I'm concerned. All
you need is 4 girls to have a troop. I'd rather have 4 really nice
girls that all get along than a large troop that clashes or causes my
child to feel insecure.

jenstarc4

--- In [email protected], "Krisula Moyer" <krisula@...>
wrote:
>
> Sorry this post went out without a subject line. Here it is again.
>
> Anika, my 6yo dd is a daisy scout. I am the troop leader. The
troop has
> been together for just over a year and I am getting ready to bridge
them to
> Brownies. All is not well, however, in Daisy land. Anika really
wants this
> group but she is frustrated with the format. Wants more free play
and less
> crafts and meeting stuff. The problem is when she feels frustrated
she
> whines, yells, and acts in ways that bring the meetings to a
screaming halt.

When this happens what do you do? I have been a daisy leader and a
brownie leader both at the same time even, with a mixed age group.
Whenever we've had problems in our group with any of the kids, mine
or my co-leader's or anyone else, we do stop and regroup and work it
out. We go back to the GS laws and work on those things that
surface. No girl is going to be happy 100% of the time in every
meeting. The key with our troop is to work together as a team and
help each girl feel comfortable and accepted and as happy as
possible. So, if one child is really uncomfortable, the other girls
can use their creative problem solving skills to help their friend in
need. "Be a sister to every girl scout" Those laws are set in place
for a reason. Use them when you need to, talk about it. Scouts is
not about doing crafts and projects as much as it is about personal
growth and teamwork, especially at the daisy/early brownie age. The
parents should know that too, if they are expecting something
different.

We also build in free play for our meetings. Daisy girls really
can't handle more than 30 min of sit down focus type work, some can't
even handle that, and there should be built in options for those that
can't. We have play time EVERY week when we meet, sometimes it's
stuff like freeze dance or other active GS games (and there are lots
of them in the GS handbooks) and sometimes we have the girls bring
dress up clothes or sometimes we bring cardboard boxes or things to
build forts and do pretend play. Sometimes we set actual meeting
time to do nothing but play at a park, for a break from doing
structured GS work, we all meet somewhere with a picnic lunch and let
the kids play.

We let the girls have loud times and quiet times. I don't know what
your parents are expecting, but you are a volunteer guiding the kids
through a scouting experience. When girls signed up for our troop,
we made it absolutely clear that we were not structured and that our
focus was on fun, play, and getting along, with a bonus of doing some
GS stuff. Within our GS stuff, we also work on Roots and Shoots, so
going to parks and stuff is totally part of the deal. We also
involve the parents as much as possible, we delegate stuff for them
to bring or do for meetings. We make is as mandatory as possible for
the parents to be there and present with the child. I know other
troops aren't like that, but we made ours like that, because we
didn't want to be a drop off babysitting service like some troops are.

I don't know if anything I'm saying will help your troop or not. I
do know that we've had people leave our troop because it wasn't
structured enough, and good riddance as far as I'm concerned. All
you need is 4 girls to have a troop. I'd rather have 4 really nice
girls that all get along than a large troop that clashes or causes my
child to feel insecure.

jenstarc4

--- In [email protected], "Krisula Moyer" <krisula@...>
wrote:
>
> Sorry this post went out without a subject line. Here it is again.
>
> Anika, my 6yo dd is a daisy scout. I am the troop leader. The
troop has
> been together for just over a year and I am getting ready to bridge
them to
> Brownies. All is not well, however, in Daisy land. Anika really
wants this
> group but she is frustrated with the format. Wants more free play
and less
> crafts and meeting stuff. The problem is when she feels frustrated
she
> whines, yells, and acts in ways that bring the meetings to a
screaming halt.

When this happens what do you do? I have been a daisy leader and a
brownie leader both at the same time even, with a mixed age group.
Whenever we've had problems in our group with any of the kids, mine
or my co-leader's or anyone else, we do stop and regroup and work it
out. We go back to the GS laws and work on those things that
surface. No girl is going to be happy 100% of the time in every
meeting. The key with our troop is to work together as a team and
help each girl feel comfortable and accepted and as happy as
possible. So, if one child is really uncomfortable, the other girls
can use their creative problem solving skills to help their friend in
need. "Be a sister to every girl scout" Those laws are set in place
for a reason. Use them when you need to, talk about it. Scouts is
not about doing crafts and projects as much as it is about personal
growth and teamwork, especially at the daisy/early brownie age. The
parents should know that too, if they are expecting something
different.

We also build in free play for our meetings. Daisy girls really
can't handle more than 30 min of sit down focus type work, some can't
even handle that, and there should be built in options for those that
can't. We have play time EVERY week when we meet, sometimes it's
stuff like freeze dance or other active GS games (and there are lots
of them in the GS handbooks) and sometimes we have the girls bring
dress up clothes or sometimes we bring cardboard boxes or things to
build forts and do pretend play. Sometimes we set actual meeting
time to do nothing but play at a park, for a break from doing
structured GS work, we all meet somewhere with a picnic lunch and let
the kids play.

We let the girls have loud times and quiet times. I don't know what
your parents are expecting, but you are a volunteer guiding the kids
through a scouting experience. When girls signed up for our troop,
we made it absolutely clear that we were not structured and that our
focus was on fun, play, and getting along, with a bonus of doing some
GS stuff. Within our GS stuff, we also work on Roots and Shoots, so
going to parks and stuff is totally part of the deal. We also
involve the parents as much as possible, we delegate stuff for them
to bring or do for meetings. We make is as mandatory as possible for
the parents to be there and present with the child. I know other
troops aren't like that, but we made ours like that, because we
didn't want to be a drop off babysitting service like some troops are.

I don't know if anything I'm saying will help your troop or not. I
do know that we've had people leave our troop because it wasn't
structured enough, and good riddance as far as I'm concerned. All
you need is 4 girls to have a troop. I'd rather have 4 really nice
girls that all get along than a large troop that clashes or causes my
child to feel insecure.

Sandra Dodd

-=-So, if one child is really uncomfortable, the other girls
can use their creative problem solving skills to help their friend in
need. "Be a sister to every girl scout" Those laws are set in place
for a reason. Use them when you need to, talk about it. Scouts is
not about doing crafts and projects as much as it is about personal
growth and teamwork, especially at the daisy/early brownie age. -=-

Really good post.

Sandra

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Krisula Moyer

Thank you Jen. What a great post. (I won' t copy it here since Yahoo made
sure everyone got it a dozen times or so yesterday.) It is very inspiring
to see how differently you've gone about your troop. I think if we are
going to keep our troop we will explore a more relaxed model like yours with
lots of play and focusing on respect and the individual needs of the girls.
Now that I write it here it seems obvious but just two weeks ago I had no
idea what to do to change things. I am inspired also by your free play park
days. Anika would *love* that and I bet the other girls would too. And
thank you, also for sharing about Roots and Shoots. I was really glad to
take a look at that.

You asked "what do you do" when Anika acts out. I guess most of the time I
don't let her get that far. I stand next to her, hold her hand, focus on
her for a bit. But this still just keeps the explosion at bay. Her
discontent is still bubbling beneath the surface. There *are* times she is
engaged and likes being there. I haven't tried to utilized the group as
you suggest. That is a very good idea. Last week when she did get to the
point of no return I left my co leader to do an activity with the group and
took Ani outside to let her calm down. She very much wanted to go back
inside and didn't want to miss time with her friends so she was still
anxious, not quite calm, when we returned but that was the very end of the
time and she was able to do a closer with us before everyone left. After
they all went she sat on my lap for a long time (we meet at a school so I
still had to gather my stuff and go) She talked about all the things that
happened that bothered her and cried because the kids hadn't wanted her to
play with them at the end. (This happened after the meeting when they were
all getting ready to leave) I told her that some of the girls were upset
because she had been talking loudly or rudely to them. She said "but I
stopped. They still wouldn't let me play." So I see she is thinking about
it. She was disappointed that her decision to try to get along wasn't met
with immediate reversal. I actually think the girls would have let her play
with them if I had pointed out that she heard their complaint and wanted to
try again to be nice. If this had happened earlier in the meeting we
could've talked about it and helped them all but it happened as everyone was
gathering their things and leaving and the moms were trying to get everyone
out.

Tomorrow is the next meeting and I have asked someone else to lead so I can
hang back with my daughter. I shared your post with my co leader and we're
going to try to put lots more play time into our gatherings. In the end I
still might drop the group but I want to try first to see if it can be
something much better than it is right now. Anika, despite her many
frustrations still wants to give it a go.

Krisula


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