Sandra Dodd

I just received this by e-mail and I don't appreciate it:

Am I wrong to hear the blunt crudeness to your voice? I mean no
disrespect, I'm sure you have a lot of experience in which I may find
helpful to glean from, but I don't think it kind to respond so coldly
to people who are here with an attitude of respect and trust with the
issues they are facing while attempting to unschool their children.
You may find it strengthening to your own ego to make others feel
subservient to you, but I find it quite disrespectful & unnerving. I
am sure there are many people who belong to this group who could
bless you with the information and perspectives they have. Perhaps
you should treat others here as you strive to encourage us to treat
our children. I also think it quite interesting that you pick
people's words apart so as to support the advice you then add. I am
open to any suggestions, advice, whatever and I do agree with some of
what you wrote, but I thought it necessary to let you know that you
may know a bit about unschooling but you have a lot to learn about
public relations & human kindness. I suppose you are not here to make
anyone happy and that is fine, but a little gentleness never hurt
anyone. I am not posting this publicly but I know there are others
who feel this same way. If you feel me so offensive feel free to
discontinue my membership, otherwise I hope to add my own soul to the
topics i choose to write or reply to.

======================================

I've deleted the original and I won't even remember who it was, but I
will say again that I don't like what basically amounts to following
someone home from a public meeting and attacking them on their own
porch. If people have comments about this list, make them "during
the meeiing." If the person who wrote that wants to continue on the
list, then great--I won't remember later how tacky this was. Truly;
I forget.

If there are people who can help people get to unschooling better
than I can, go where they are. Take everyone with you. I'm helping
for free and because I want to. Nobody gets a refund; nobody paid a
dollar to join this list.

Here is what happens when people can accept criticism, when people
are willing and eager to do better for their children:

http://sandradodd.com/feedback
http://sandradodd.com/lists/comments

As to what happens when they don't really care, you can find examples
without end all around you.

-=-Perhaps you should treat others here as you strive to encourage us
to treat our children.-=-

No. I treat my children as I think you should treat your children.
Those who have met my children aren't encouraging me to tell other
parents to take their time deciding whether to move toward
unschooling. I gave my children years and years of peace to learn
how to read. If I wait years and years for parents to gradually move
toward unschooling, they won't get there while their children are
still young enough.

http://sandradodd.com/unschool/gettingit

Down on that page is information about why there's a hurry.
Sandra

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Sandra Dodd

I had to go and take Holly to her babysitting job and wasn't able to
finish what I wanted to say about the private attack I received.

-=-I don't think it kind to respond so coldly
to people who are here with an attitude of respect and trust with the
issues they are facing while attempting to unschool their children. -=-

I don't want to help people attempt to unschool.
I want to help people unschool.

It's not cold for me to help parents to transfer their respect and
trust directly to the core being of their children.
It would be cold of me not to.

-=-I mean no
disrespect...
You may find it strengthening to your own ego to make others feel
subservient to you, but I find it quite disrespectful & unnerving.-=-

Uh.... WHAT!? Subservient!? Is anyone washing my car or doing my
dishes?

My ego is strong because my children are happy and whole.
My ego is strong because people who know me in person trust me,
because when they see my family and meet me and talk with me, they
know I'm not being dishonest in the least about what I say will help
unschooling work. I'm not dodging, I'm not bullshitting, I'm not
writing or speaking to strengthen my own ego. I could stay home
forevermore and suffer no loss of confidence. I could never write
another word, and what's here would be sufficient:
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling

-=-I
am sure there are many people who belong to this group who could
bless you with the information and perspectives they have. -=-

And they have. And they will continue to do so. So have hundreds or
thousands of other parents since the time I had Kirby and went to La
Leche League and learned from other parents who were sharing their
time and energy freely and generously for the good of Kirby Dodd, not
for *MY* personal good. That link up above has enough writing by
people besides me that one could read for a week, ignoring anything I
wrote myself, and still be reading.

-=-I also think it quite interesting that you pick
people's words apart so as to support the advice you then add.-=-

?
If someone wants and needs advice, one should take free advice
graciously and not direct someone as to how it should have been
presented.

When someone posts in public and by that posting reveals things she
hadn't even seen herself, it is a HUGE and priceless kindness of
others to be willing to hold up the mirror and say "Wait.... look."
You could go to a counselor and pay $90 a week for years and not get
what you can get on this list in a week.

-=-I thought it necessary to let you know that you
may know a bit about unschooling but you have a lot to learn about
public relations & human kindness.-=-

Necessary? Very often people accuse others of the thing of which
they themselves are guilty. "
Some parents find it necessary to belittle their children. It's
very, very bad for unschooling for them to do so.

I may know a little bit about unschooling and I may know a lot.
I DO know a lot about keeping a discussion list healthy for many years.


-=-I suppose you are not here to make
anyone happy and that is fine, but a little gentleness never hurt
anyone.-=-

A little gentleness will hurt when women sooth and coo instead of
saying "this isn't going to help."

I AM here to make people happy. I'm here to make people's children
happy. A mother with happy children will find it easier to be a
happy mother than a mother whose children are unhappy.

Sandra






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Vida

Sandra,

I don't think that someone writing to you privately about her
feelings, which also didn't sound like an "attack" at all is
"tacky". What came off as "tacky" was that you posted it publicly
for all to read. I find that very disrespectful. You could've
easily just stated that you got an email that you didn't like and
state the reasons you didn't like it.

Vida


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Sandra Dodd

-=-find that very disrespectful. You could've
easily just stated that you got an email that you didn't like and
state the reasons you didn't like it.-=-

When you run a list, do as you wish.

I don't like to be insulted for my volunteer work.

I don't feel the need to be 'respectful' of people who write to tell
me I don't know what I'm doing or how to do it, even though I might
know a little about unschooling.

There are other lists I'm not on, if anyone wants to get away from
lists I'm on.
Here. I've voluntarily made a page with links to them:

http://sandradodd.com/help
Don't join UnschoolingDiscussion, though, if you want to get away
from me. Any of the others are unpolluted by my presence.

Sandra

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